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Batman 3

Suck Up The New Trailer For Batman 3 Batchumps

by Mof Gimmers

In about a year’s time, there’ll be a new Batman film for us all to get thoroughly excited about. Of course, it’ll largely be the same as the previous two Christopher Nolan directed films, with Batman needing a lozenge and Gotham City indulging in a constant, half-lit gloom. BUT IT WILL BE BRILLIANT YEAH BECAUSE [...]

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt To Please Lonely Women In The Dark Knight Rises

by Mof Gimmers

Ooooh! Squeee! Joseph Gordon-Levitt is totally, like, the thinking woman’s crumpet right? He seems kinda smart and he’s got that face which is totally hot. NOT IN A CONVENTIONAL WAY THOUGH! He’s like, hot in a slightly not conventional way. He’s such a dreamboat! He’s like that Michael Cera chap with added handsomeness. Cute, smart, [...]

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Wait A Minute?! What’s All This About Heath Ledger’s Joker Appearing In The Dark Knight Rises?

by Mof Gimmers

You know how Heath Ledger is dead? Like, properly dead? Dead like Michael Jackson as opposed to Elvis (no-one has ‘spotted’ him flipping burgers or selling smokes to minors)? Well, bafflingly, he might be in the next Batman film. You heard. Heath ‘Is Dead’ Ledger is to star in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. Of course, [...]

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Batman 3 Is Now Called The Dark Knight Rises: Exit The Riddler And Enter The Pyg?

by Mof Gimmers

The new Batman films have been ace. They’ve straddled the line of edgy and dumb-ass perfectly. Basically, they’ve been action flicks for people who like to think they’re too smart for ‘em. Wise move. And there’s been a lot of anticipation over the imminent movie, which we’ve been referring to as ‘Batman 3′, just to [...]

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Tom Hardy To Star In Batman 3 As A Nasty Villain Type

by Mof Gimmers

We say Batman 3! Fanboys shout ‘For the last time! It’s not Batman 3!’ Okay, it’s not the most effective of call-and-responses, but it’s something we seem to do at an alarming rate. Anyway, since the new Batman films came out and salvaged the superhero’s name from being written off as a constant source of [...]

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Batman 3! It Exists! In 2012! Probably!

by Stuart Heritage

Batman 3 rumours are film’s vuvuzela – they’re so annoying that most people have stopped noticing them.

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Batman 3: Megan Fox IS Catwoman, Unless She Isn’t

by Stuart Heritage

It’s Cher who we feel most sorry for, of course. We thought that Cher had the Batman 3 Catwoman role all sewn up.

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Batman 3 Script Online & Rubbish & Almost Definitely Fake

by Stuart Heritage

Batman 3 is the film nobody can wait for, if only to see whether Christian Bale has coughed up that hairball yet.

But the thing about Batman 3 is, it doesn’t exist. It hasn’t been cast, it hasn’t got a director and nobody’s even bothered to design any bat-nipples yet, a legal requirement of any third Batman movie.

But there is a Batman 3 script. The internet is abuzz after an eight-page Batman 3 script – apparently by Christopher Nolan and his brother – mysteriously appeared this week. The bad news? It’s horrible. The good news? We’ll shave our balls on the internet if it’s genuine.

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Batman 3: The Riddler Is… Wait, Eddie Murphy? Really?

by Stuart Heritage

First the good news: it seems likely that the Batman 3 casting rumours can end now. Are you ready for the bad news?

The bad news is that Batman 3 director Christopher Nolan appears to have banged his head quite hard on a doorframe and is badly concussed. We’ve deduced this thanks to reports that Nolan has signed Eddie Murphy to play The Riddler in Batman 3. Eddie bloody Murphy.

But it’s not all bad, because it’s not as if he’s also signed Shia LaBeouf to play Robin in Batman 3 as well, is it? It is? Christopher Nolan, you great big sod, what have you done?

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Batman 3: Christoper Nolan Still Being A Chuffing Tease

by Stuart Heritage

The world is dying for Batman 3 – it wants murk, it wants thematic complexity, it wants a superhero with a crappy voice.

But most of all, the world wants Christopher Nolan. But since this is Christopher Nolan – a man who once made an entire film about Al Pacino being quite sleepy – he isn’t making the Batman 3 talk easy.

Promoting The Dark Knight’s DVD release, Nolan reiterated that the pressure of following such a huge movie might cause him to foul the sequel up. Well, Christopher, that didn’t stop Sam Raimi from making Spider-Man 3, and that was… um, OK, let’s move on.

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