Articles tagged with: Batman 3
Batman 3: Cher Is Catwoman, So Feel Free To Gag
There's never been a perfect Catwoman, and that's because no Catwoman has ever straddled a cannon and bellowed If I Could Turn Back Time with her arse out. But that's potentially going to change with the release of Batman 3, or whatever the sequel to The Dark Knight is going to be called. That's because, according to The Mirror, Christopher Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman is none other than 62-year-old surgically modified warbler Cher. Phew, and to think that Angelina Jolie was almost Catwoman, too. That would have just been sick.
There's never been a perfect Catwoman, and that's because no Catwoman has ever straddled a cannon and bellowed If I Could Turn Back Time with her arse out. But that's potentially going to change with the release of Batman 3, or whatever the sequel to The Dark Knight is going to be called. That's because, according to The Mirror, Christopher Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman is none other than 62-year-old surgically modified warbler Cher. Phew, and to think that Angelina Jolie was almost Catwoman, too. That would have just been sick.
Batman 3 is Coming Out Soon! No, Wait – ‘Not’ Soon.
It looks like there's going to be a fair wait until Batman 3 pops its fat head out for us all to see. The sequel to the Best Film Ever(tm) that has made more money than the GDP of many African nations combined, The Dark Knight, will get a sequel at some point. On one hand, who would blame the studio? It's a licence to print money. On the same hand but slightly tilted, the vast majority of people who have seen the first two films actually want a sequel, seeing as both Batman Begins and the more recent helping were utterly brilliant. Oh, plus Christian Bale isn't going to be put in the slammer for three hundred years, or thereabouts. But David S. Goyer, writer of the screenplay for both films, has other things to do for quite a while, so you plebians are going to have to wait a while for your next hit of Gotham's favourite vigilante.
It looks like there's going to be a fair wait until Batman 3 pops its fat head out for us all to see. The sequel to the Best Film Ever(tm) that has made more money than the GDP of many African nations combined, The Dark Knight, will get a sequel at some point. On one hand, who would blame the studio? It's a licence to print money. On the same hand but slightly tilted, the vast majority of people who have seen the first two films actually want a sequel, seeing as both Batman Begins and the more recent helping were utterly brilliant. Oh, plus Christian Bale isn't going to be put in the slammer for three hundred years, or thereabouts. But David S. Goyer, writer of the screenplay for both films, has other things to do for quite a while, so you plebians are going to have to wait a while for your next hit of Gotham's favourite vigilante.
Christian Bale Assault Charges Result in Ultimate Punishment. That, or Just a Caution
Christian Bale looks likely to get away with allegedly pushing his mum about, if he pleads guilty to assault. The Welshman, who no one seems to realise is Welsh, has been recommended to receive a caution by the Crown Prosecution Service for his alleged actions, should he plead guilty to charges next month. If, however, he pleads not guilty then he could be looking at more severe penalties, all according to the bastion of truth, honour and glory that is The Sun newspaper. Though, let's be honest here - he probably wouldn't be looking at any really severe charges. A fine, a slap on the wrist and a bruised ego, leaving the Baler ready to take on Terminator 4 and Batman 3. Unless the authorities were to decide on making an example of him and imprisoned him for life - alledgely pushing your mum and sister about is no laughing matter, after all. Especially when they apparently want money from you.
Christian Bale looks likely to get away with allegedly pushing his mum about, if he pleads guilty to assault. The Welshman, who no one seems to realise is Welsh, has been recommended to receive a caution by the Crown Prosecution Service for his alleged actions, should he plead guilty to charges next month. If, however, he pleads not guilty then he could be looking at more severe penalties, all according to the bastion of truth, honour and glory that is The Sun newspaper. Though, let's be honest here - he probably wouldn't be looking at any really severe charges. A fine, a slap on the wrist and a bruised ego, leaving the Baler ready to take on Terminator 4 and Batman 3. Unless the authorities were to decide on making an example of him and imprisoned him for life - alledgely pushing your mum and sister about is no laughing matter, after all. Especially when they apparently want money from you.
Batman 3: Angelina Jolie Should Be Catwoman, Says Catwoman
The Dark Knight hype-tizzy is over, right? After the deaths and the arrests and the plaudits, that's the end now, right? Michael Caine hasn't smacked a gypsy on the head with a shovel? Morgan Freeman hasn't accidentally fallen down a lift shaft? Good, then that really is the end of interminable Dark Knight hype. So let's start hyping up Batman 3 instead, then. Although nobody knows for sure who the Batman 3 villain will be, Catwoman is emerging as a fan favourite, for some completely unknown reason. And Angelina Jolie seems to be the frontrunner to play her. That's not just berserk internet lust talking - definitive 1960s Catwoman Julie Newmar seems to think she'd be a good fit, too. Still, if that falls through there's always Kerry Katona. Or death. Let's go with death.
The Dark Knight hype-tizzy is over, right? After the deaths and the arrests and the plaudits, that's the end now, right? Michael Caine hasn't smacked a gypsy on the head with a shovel? Morgan Freeman hasn't accidentally fallen down a lift shaft? Good, then that really is the end of interminable Dark Knight hype. So let's start hyping up Batman 3 instead, then. Although nobody knows for sure who the Batman 3 villain will be, Catwoman is emerging as a fan favourite, for some completely unknown reason. And Angelina Jolie seems to be the frontrunner to play her. That's not just berserk internet lust talking - definitive 1960s Catwoman Julie Newmar seems to think she'd be a good fit, too. Still, if that falls through there's always Kerry Katona. Or death. Let's go with death.
Batman 3: Catwoman & The Penguin To Remain Unemployed
The Dark Knight has whipped up such a hype frenzy that we wouldn't be surprised if it cured the blind and healed the terminally ill. In fact, people are going so potty over The Dark Knight that they've started to pretend that they've already seen it just so they can move onto speculation over Batman 3. So we may as well do the same. It's not like we've got anything better to do. Batman screenwriters David Goyer and Jonah Nolan have responded to claims that the baddies in Batman 3 will be Catwoman and The Penguin by saying that the baddies in Batman 3 definitely won't be Catwoman and The Penguin. They've got a whole raft of other villains to chose from, so why pick the two most obvious? Especially when nobody's put Lola Lasagne in a Batman movie yet.
The Dark Knight has whipped up such a hype frenzy that we wouldn't be surprised if it cured the blind and healed the terminally ill. In fact, people are going so potty over The Dark Knight that they've started to pretend that they've already seen it just so they can move onto speculation over Batman 3. So we may as well do the same. It's not like we've got anything better to do. Batman screenwriters David Goyer and Jonah Nolan have responded to claims that the baddies in Batman 3 will be Catwoman and The Penguin by saying that the baddies in Batman 3 definitely won't be Catwoman and The Penguin. They've got a whole raft of other villains to chose from, so why pick the two most obvious? Especially when nobody's put Lola Lasagne in a Batman movie yet.
