Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have something of a ‘will they, won’t they?’ relationship. That much is clear to see.
By which we obviously mean ‘will they or won’t they find any form of meaningful acting work once they’ve finished starring in those terrible Twilight films?’ To which the answer, in all honesty, is ‘probably not, no’. But until we can find a definitive answer to that, let’s just arbitrarily speculate on whether or not Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are doing it with each other.
They both ate dinner alone together on Sunday, you know. Which definitely proves, um, something.
When Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart signed up for Twilight, they probably assumed that it was no big deal. After all, it was a cheaply-made movie based on a badly-written book that seemed to appeal exclusively to the mad-eyed home-schooled lonely teenager demographic. They’d make the film, cash their cheques and move on to another project that wasn’t so embarrassingly moralising all the time.
That clearly hasn’t been the case. As soon as Twilight became a movie, it became a smash hit with all mad-eyed lonely teenagers, not just the ones who spent their formative years being repeatedly told by their parents that the sun revolves around the Earth and that there was once a species of dinosaur named Jonathan. And, as mad-eyed teenagers are prone to do, they’ve turned Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart into the focus of their terrifying obsession.
Aside from making their own lifesized Robert Pattinson boyfriend dolls by finding a mop, giving it a deliberately bad haircut and dipping it in rancid animal sweat for hours at a time, the focus of their obsession seems to revolve around whether or not Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart can ever replicate the love shared by their Twilight characters.
It seems unlikely that they would, since a) Kristen Stewart says that they don’t, b) Kristen Stewart already has a boyfriend and c) Twilight is a film about a sexy vampire and a beautiful schoolgirl, whereas in real life Robert Pattinson is a monotone dullard with a funny haircut and Kristen Stewart looks like a balloon animal of a bad-tempered horse.
But maybe, just maybe, there’s something going on between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, because following their success at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday night, they both snuck off and had dinner together, as Radar reports:
After sweeping the MTV Awards Sunday night, Twilight duo Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted dining alone with each other at Cecconi’s, the newest Hollywood restaurant hot spot! So is there a romance budding between the on-screen lovers? Our spies tell us Kristen and Rob retired to their West Hollywood hotel and no one has seen them since.
So that’s it – conclusive proof that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are definitely having it off. Or they were briefly hungry for a small amount of Sunday evening. But definitely one of those two things. Or possibly something else. What a scandal.