A public plea: Can someone, anyone, from MTV please immediately go and make a reality TV show about Ryan O’Neal and his family? Thanks.
Because, without question, a TV show about the family life of Ryan O’Neal would hands-down be the best piece of television ever made. Especially if it explained why Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond were yesterday both arrested on the felony charge of methamphetamine possession.
Wow. So Oscar-nominated actor Ryan O’Neal (father of Tatum O’Neal, the actress who was recently arrested for buying crack) and his son Redmond (who last year tied his half-brother to a staircase like a dog and hit his girlfriend in the head with a fireplace poker until Ryan O’Neal actually had to fire a gun at him to make him stop) might be on drugs. Who knew?
You know what? We’d give anything to be an O’Neal. Seriously, anything. When we were kids, our Dad would just take us out for fishing trips or bike rides or something equally dull. But not Ryan O’Neal. Ryan O’Neal’s a real dad, and here’s why:
*Ryan O’Neal taught his kids that the only way to deal with the grief of losing a pet is to go and buy crack and then pretend you didn’t know it was crack when you’re arrested for it.
*Ryan O’Neal knows that sometimes the only way you can stop your son from waving a fireplace poker around so haphazardly that he injures his own girlfriend’s head because you overreacted to the sight of him tethering your other son to a bannister like a dog to stop him buying drugs is to fire a gun at him.
*Ryan O’Neal knows that the family that gets shitfaced on methamphetamine together stays together. Allegedly.
How much of that did you do with us, Dad? None of it. Thanks Dad. Thanks a lot.
Anyway, Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond O’Neal have both been arrested on the felony charge of narcotics possession. The New York Daily News reports:
Deputies found what is believed to be methamphetamine on them during a probation sweep of their Malibu home. Father and son were later released on $10,000 bail each. “Authorities found Redmond in possession of narcotics and later discovered the father, Ryan O’Neal, was also in possession of narcotics,” spokesman Steve Whitmore told the Daily News
Of course, the lion’s share of the blame for the arrest has to go to Redmond O’Neal. If he hadn’t got arrested earlier this year for going on a pre-dawn joyride through the streets of Malibu with all sorts of heroin and crystal meth in his possession then the probation squad would have never come a-knocking, leaving Ryan and Redmond to get as allegedly munted on methamphetamine as they like in the privacy of their own home.
Still, it doesn’t matter whose fault the arrest was, or even if Ryan O’Neal and Redmond O’Neal are guilty or innocent. What matters is that the justice system doesn’t punish either of them for this. Seriously. Imagine if this arrest shocked the O’Neals into cleaning up their act and behaving like responsible members of the public for once. This website would go under in seconds. Seconds. We beg of you, don’t let that happen.
Eclectico says
Yeah, but Tatum O’Neal is still a hottie. If only she “hadn’t have got arrested” for buying crack…
Harry says
Hollywood is awash in drugs and has probably already capsized, though it’s not easy to actually tell. Poor Ryan and son are just two more heads bobbing around in the chemical-laden waters, but the consequent legal action may at least pluck them out of the water and require them to dry out in some discreet and effective rehabilitation facility. It’s funny and pitiful at the same time, and probably the entertainment industry is just getting back what it has imposed on the general public all these years.
mst3kster says
Look out Redmond. When Blake gets out of jail and leaves Amy Winehorse, she’s gonna be huntin’ you down.