OK, that's not strictly true – the Ryan O'Neal Vs Griffin O'Neal fight probably got ugly when Griffin O'Neal angrily waved a fireplace poker around, hit his girlfriend in the head with it and chased Ryan O'Neal up the stairs until Ryan O'Neal shot a gun at him.
But, you know, if you don't count all that stuff you could say that the Ryan O'Neal Vs Griffin O'Neal fight was starting to get a bit ugly. As with most domestic disturbances where the son thrashes a fireplace poker around until the Oscar-nominated father shoots a handgun in his direction to scare him away, there's something of a difference in each party's version of events. And you'll be pleased to know that both Ryan O'Neal and Griffin O'Neal have taken the time to give conflicting "He started it" "No, he started it" press conferences.
Nothing makes a celebrity look cooler than walking around with a massive gun. Renee Zellweger wants a gun, Eminem is making a film about a gun and Lindsay Lohan wants to take a gun to Iraq and mow down as many of those sons of bitches as she possibly can. In fact, the only celebrity who doesn't like guns is James Bond and that's only because he enjoys getting his testicles smashed in with lengths of knotted rope instead. Oh, and Griffin O'Neal doesn't like guns either – but that probably has something to do with his Dad Ryan O'Neal firing one of them at him over the weekend.
You'll remember that Oscar-nominated actor and star of useless Alicia Silverstone TV show Miss Match Ryan O'Neal was arrested for assault on Saturday morning for apparently firing a gun at his son Griffin during a fight in his Malibu home. Ryan O'Neal naturally claimed that the gunshot was merely self-defence because Griffin O'Neal was angrily swinging a metal fireplace poker around and had already clobbered his pregnant girlfriend Joanna Berry in the eye with it. But now things have taken a turn for the bitter.
Instead of the "I'm sorry I was lurching around the living room swishing a poker around like a maniac, Dad" / "Oh, it's OK son – angrily firing a handgun into a bannister was probably overreacting too" reconciliation we were anticipating, both Ryan O'Neal and Griffin O'Neal have given separate press conferences, each blaming the other for all the mess they're both in. Reuters reports:
"It is important to note that we vigorously reject any assertion that the injuries suffered by Joanna and Griffin were a result of Ryan O'Neal's acting in self-defense," Griffin O'Neal's attorney, Gloria Allred, told reporters at a press conference. Allred said Berry, who received eight stitches over her eye, suffered a corneal abrasion, blunt head trauma, a sinus/orbital wall fracture and lacerations to her face. She is due to give birth at the end of next month. She did not elaborate on Griffin O'Neal's injuries. A lawyer for Ryan O'Neal repeated the actor's charge that Berry was hurt when Griffin O'Neal swung the poker at his father and missed. "Ryan was beaten in his own home by his own son with his own fireplace poker," attorney Mark Werksman told reporters.
That's what must really hurt – the fact that when Ryan O'Neal's son started furiously lashing out at everyone with a metal poker, it was Ryan O'Neal's own poker he was using. Hey Griffin, use your own damn poker next time you want to use one to flail about near your father, your girlfriend and your unborn baby. You wouldn't like it if Ryan O'Neal started firing your own guns at you instead of his own, would you?
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Jeez – that’s a reality TV show waiting to happen