Hands up who thinks this whole Tiger Woods thing is over. Really? You’d better brace yourself for bad news.
It’s just begun. Yes, we know that you were probably under the impression that – since Tiger Woods has a well-established fondness for women who look like inflatable sex dolls fashioned out of water-logged second-hand pleather bowling bags – every last one of the ratty-haired strumpets had come forward to sell their story. But that’s not the case.
Porn star Joslyn James has now come forward to claim that Tiger Woods got her pregnant twice during a three-year affair they had. Why has she waited until now to announce her news? God knows – maybe Tiger Woods has initiated a deli-style ticket system so that all of his alleged conquests get a turn to discuss his ejaculate in public or whatever.
As unfortunate as this Tiger Woods mess is, you can’t fault how the the man has dealt with it. He’s spent months hiding away out of public view, he appears to have convinced his wife to stick with him and he’s even been to sex rehab so that in future he’ll be able to, say, walk past a watermelon stand without trying to hump it into smithereens. Tiger Woods has wriggled out of this knotty situation perfectly.
Except, no, wait – it looks like Tiger Woods has forgotten to tell us about the porn star he supposedly knocked up a couple of times. No, not that porn star. Or any of the other women he’s been linked with, even though they do all tend to have the weather-beaten skin and cold dead eyes of a porn star. This is a brand new porn star. It’s Joslyn James, who the smoother-palmed among you might recognise as the star of films like Big Breasted Nurses, Porn Star Brides and Shorty Iz Fuckin’ Yo Mama 2.
And Joslyn James says that, during their three-year affair, Tiger Woods got her pregnant twice. The New York Daily News reports:
The first pregnancy, she said, ended in a miscarriage and the second was aborted. She said she never told Woods about the pregnancies, which coincided with the two pregnancies of the golfer’s wife, Elin. “The first one was when [Elin] was pregnant with Sam,” said James, referring to Woods’s 2-year-old daughter. The second time she got pregnant, James said she quietly had an abortion.
Not that we should necessarily believe Joslyn James, of course. No sooner had she made this announcement than her stepmother Deborah Siwik rushed off to the press to describe exactly what a horrible person James is, telling Radaronline that:
“Joslyn is a compulsive liar and a bad mom. It’s possible she got pregnant by Tiger Woods, but I don’t envy him getting involved with Joslyn James – she is a bad person who only wants to be famous.”
But hopefully that isn’t true. Hopefully Joslyn James is a good mother who tells the truth and definitely did get knocked up by Tiger Woods a couple of times. Imagine if Deborah Siwik was right – not only would we have to start questioning everything we thought we knew about porn stars, but it would also throw Tiger Woods’ taste in women into doubt, too. We’re not sure that we could take a shock like that.
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CLB says
What a disgrace!!!
This shameless, immoral woman has no credibility and is looking for easy money. A porn star that sells her body for money, that have intimate contact with multiple men and does not use birth control? Who would believe this?
melissa says
I agree!!!!! Who tha Hell believes that a porn star got pregnant by a billionaire and had an abortion. LOL!
wish says
These women “porn” star and the media are just pathetic! Leave Tiger and Elin alone!
msntnkrbll says
egads, lets just castrate the man so he can get over the sex thing and back to golf. i blame all those women for ruining his game. before he was married, he was focused on his A game. now he can’t find his D game because of all these skags. Leave him alone, girls, let him get back to GOLF. Golf needs him….you don’t.