Pirates Of The Caribbean Obviously Wins At People’s Choice Awards

Oh thank God for you, People's Choice Awards. Until now we'd found ourselves adrift in a sea of self-important awards that are no use to anyone bar the ever-shrinking Oscar audience, and we were in dire need of some empty, flashing, populist honking.

And that's exactly what you delivered, People's Choice Award. Forget Babel or The Queen or Clint Eastwood, The People's Choice Award is all about letting the people get a say about what they like, and it doesn't even matter if what they like is shit, because it's their choice. And the film that the people chose to win the most People's Choice awards this year was Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest won Favourite Movie, Favourite Movie Drama, Favourite Male Movie Star, Favourite Male Action Star, Favourite On-Screen Match-Up and Favourite Confusing Over-Long Second Sequel That Only Really Basically Acts As A Big Advert For The Third Sequel.

Even though all the awards ceremonies going on at the moment are saying that Babel accomplished the most last year and that The Queen is the pinnacle of sophisticated moviemaking; 2006 was the year of Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. For a start, Pirates Of The Caribbean had the best opening box office weekend ever, and last month was responsible for one in four of all DVDs sold in the UK. And even though we're yet to meet a single person of any age who's responded to the question "Did you like Pirates Of The Caribbean?" with anything but a shrugged "Meh," Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest cleaned up at the People's Choice Awards last night.

Most of the People's Choice success was purely down to Johnny Depp. That isn't really surprising - Johnny Depp got thousands of People's Choice Awards nominations - but Johnny Depp proved his popularity last night by scooping almost every single People's Choice Awards available to a man in the film category. Let's hope that Johnny Depp maintains his huge audience for his next film about a singing hairdresser who murders people.

Believe it or not, but Johnny Depp wasn't the only person to win any People's Choice Awards. The people also decided that Jennifer Aniston was their Favourite Female Film Star, too, which gave her the perfect opportunity to apologise for never making any films that weren't terrible:

"You all have supported me since the days of Friends, just through all of it. Good work, bad work and the ugly. I just thank you for continually inviting me back." 

In the TV category, People's Choice awards were won by The Simpson, Heroes and Eva Longoria, who now has even less reason to make that lesbian sex film with Beyonce. As for the music awards, Bon Jovi and Nickelback won, which is all you really need to know. Ah, go on - here's the full list of People's Choice Award winners:

Favourite Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Favourite Movie Drama: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Favourite Movie Comedy: Click

Favourite Family Movie: Cars

Favourite Female Movie Star: Jennifer Aniston

Favourite Male Movie Star: Johnny Depp

Favourite Leading Lady: Cameron Diaz

Favourite Leading Man: Vince Vaughn

Favourite Female Action Star: Halle Berry

Favourite Male Action Star: Johnny Depp

Favourite On-Screen Match-Up: Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Favourite TV Comedy: Two and a Half Men

Favourite Animated TV Comedy: The Simpsons

Favourite TV Drama: Grey's Anatomy

Favourite New TV Drama: Heroes

Favourite New TV Comedy: The Class

Favourite Competition/Reality Show: American Idol

Favourite Female TV Star: Eva Longoria

Favourite Male TV Star: Patrick Dempsey

Favourite Talk Show Host: Ellen DeGeneres

Favourite Female Singer: Carrie Underwood

Favourite Male Singer: Kenny Chesney

Favourite Group: Nickelback

Favourite R&B Song: SexyBack, Justin Timberlake

Favourite Hip-Hop Song: Shake That, Eminem

Favourite Pop Song: Hips Don't Lie, Shakira

Favourite Country Song: Before He Cheats, Carrie Underwood

Favourite Rock Song: Who Says You Can't Go Home, Bon Jovi

Favourite Song from a Movie: Life Is a Highway (Cars), Rascal Flatts

Favourite Remake: Life Is a Highway (Cars), Rascal Flatts

Favourite Funny Female Star: Ellen DeGeneres

Favourite Funny Male Star: Robin Williams

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A Pirates Life For The People - E! Online