If only James Bond was based on the life of Pierce Brosnan, things would be so much better – Tomorrow Never Dies might have included a scene where 007 rolled round a car park trying to punch a photographer in the ribs and swearing a lot.
Because, if you haven't already guessed, that's what Pierce Brosnan has been accused of doing. Malibu police are apparently investigating claims that Pierce Brosnan attacked a paparazzi photographer outside a Los Angeles restaurant on Friday after telling him to "fuck off" and "get a real fucking job." Reports that Daniel Craig plans to beat up exactly the same photographer next week in a grittier and more slightly convincing way – using less invisible cars and sky lasers – are still totally unfounded.
As fun as being James Bond must be – all that blind patriotism and foreigner-punching makes it a lot like getting paid to be a well-dressed football hooligan – you'd always have to be aware that someone younger, fitter and more fashionable than you is ready to step into your shoes at a moment's notice, leaving you typecast and obscure for the rest of your career. That's what happened when Daniel Craig replaced Pierce Brosnan as James Bond, at least.
After being replaced as 007 – by a toothless blonde bloke who hates guns, no less – Pierce Brosnan has struggled to maintain the same degree of success, going on to make all sorts of low-key films that literally nobody on Earth has ever seen. And that's left Pierce Brosnan with a lot of time on his hands. Time that some people are claiming he spends by engaging in the traditional celebrity pursuit of paparazzi-thumping.
Now, different celebrities go about paparazzi-thumping in different ways. Pete Doherty likes to threaten their mothers with death while Dame Edna prefers the more conventional face-bop approach and Brad Pitt has a team of goons constantly ready to strangle anyone who takes his picture. But Pierce Brosnan? He's the smooth-as-silk man behind James Bond, Remington Steele and The Lawnmower Man, so his alleged paparazzi-beating technique is bound to be as suave as you like, right? Not so, says TMZ:
We're told Brosnan allegedly committed a battery on Robert Rosen, a photographer. According to Rosen, Pierce was there with his kids, when Rosen began snapping photos (see below). Rosen says Pierce then said, "Why don't you get a real f**king job." Rosen says he then started complimenting Pierce on his Bond roles. A short time later, an enraged Pierce allegedly told the photog, "Why don't you f**k off, mate," and then struck him in the ribs. A witness says the pap instinctively reacted by kicking Pierce — we're told, in the stomach.
Now, this is a matter that's still being investigated by police and it's not known how much of Pierce Brosnan's alleged attack is actually true in the first place, so we're not going to go around casting aspersions on anyone's reputation just yet.
However, if Robert Rosen's account of Pierce Brosnan's attack is true, it's heartening to see that the "Why don't you get a real fucking job?" line is still merrily being trotted out by a middle-aged man who's just spent seven years of his life driving around ice palaces in invisible cars trying to stop a face-transplanted Korean man with a dream machine and a diamond-faced henchman trying to cut the world in half with a massive space laser, isn't it?
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christie says
For your information, when Pierce was replaced as James Bond by DC one of the first films he made earned him a nominaton for a Golden Globe for best actor. Not something that many James Bond actors can say. James Bond is a ridiculous role which is over idolised especially in Britain. Unfortunately Piece managed to get some of the worst scripts ever during his reign. If you check up on his history you will see that he was continuously asking to play a gritter more dangerous Bond. The Brocolis were just too scared at that time to do this having been badly burnt during the more dour Timothy Dalton portrayal. Daniel Craig is playing the Bond that Pierce Brosnan was born to play. It was just lucky timing. Pierce is a great actor, a great role model for the environment and a wonderful husband and father. If he loses it to some pap you can bet there was more to it than meets the eye.
Jackal says
Is this the same Robert Rosen photographer who hails from Sydney, Australia?
If so, please make it very clear that Rosen is a celebrated social photographer, not a paparazzi.
Frankly, I know all of the social (and pap) guys in Sydney – rosen is not a true pap. It is also unliklely that socialite Rosen would EVER be likely to kick anyone. Research his book of photographs and you’ll see!