Stop, stop, stop – take the bunting down, unwrap the Larry The Hepatitis Monkey toy you've just bought, because Pamela Anderson isn't pregnant.

Yes, we know we just said that Pamela Anderson was pregnant, but that's because we thought she was and, well, the thought of Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon's genes colliding to create an unborn baby with the potential to become an internet sex tape Olympian was just too darn exciting. 

Pamela Anderson's blog, you see, has the word 'no' written on it. Twice. So that's another hope of ours dashed.

Forget what you've heard. Not about everything – that would probably be a bit catastrophic – but just about Pamela Anderson getting pregnant with Rick Salomon's baby. Because it looks like it was all just a case of wishful thinking on the part of everyone on the planet. 

In what we assume is a reference to the pregnancy rumours, the ever-eloquent Pamela Anderson has taken to her blog to write the following page-turner:

No

No.

Now, as we've said, we're only partially certain that Pamela Anderson is talking about this rumoured pregnancy of hers, although we could be wrong. For all we know she could just be answering the questions 'Are you a natural blonde?' and 'Hey, are those things real?'

Nevertheless, this must have all just made Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon's break-up harder – in just pitifully small number of months they've hooked up, got married, filed for divorce and partially changed their minds and now they have a possibly invented baby on the way? It's just too much for a couple of bad-haired internet porn dimwits to take.

Still, now that the pregnancy has been denied it's good to see that Pamela Anderson is able to keep up her gruelling, near-annual marriage/ divorce/ magical disappearing baby workload up. Be proud, Pammy, you're doing well.

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No – Pamela Anderson