When a celebrity gets as skinny as Nicole Richie, people begin to wonder. Maybe she's naturally skinny, or perhaps she has an eating disorder – or maybe a surgeon hacked her open, stapled part of her stomach shut and then sewed her back up again.
That last one definitely didn't happen, according to Nicole Richie and her people. They've been forced to speak out on the matter after a newspaper blind item about a starlet with a gastric band rampaged wildly out of control and caused people Nicole Richie passed on the street to stop dead in their tracks, point at her and whisper "Gastric band gastric band gastric band" over and over again. But, now that the gastric bypass theory has been ruled out, Nicole Richie's team of crack nutritionists have to uncover the real reason why Nicole Richie is such a pointless slurring skinny spaz all the time.
It's hard to know which of the girls from The Simple Life deserves our pity most. On the one hand, Paris Hilton's troubles are plentiful – arrested for drink driving with an album out that nobody's bought and a growing penchant for fighting girls in nightclubs – but Nicole Richie just has one; her skinniness. However, Nicole Richie isn't just any old skinny – hers is a sort of crushing, all-encompassing skinny that sucks the life out of anyone who so much as gazes at it.
And Nicole Richie's skinny trouble is well-known to everyone. Well, everyone except Nicole Richie, that is. Nicole Richie can't decide if she's too skinny or not skinny enough or so skinny that she needs help for being so skinny. Lionel Richie knows, though; in between blindfolding himself and attempting to make a clay bust of his own head as good as the girl from the Hello video Lionel's come out of the woodwork to blame Nicole's weight on stress or sometimes just to panic wildly about it. One thing's for sure, though – Nicole Richie isn't skinny because she had a gastric bypass, as People reports:
Rumors began spreading this week after the New York Post ran a blind item claiming a "Hollywood starlet" had gastric bypass surgery – and then, after losing too much weight, went in to have the gastric band removed. The Simple Life star's rep says that reports linking Richie to the blind item are "ridiculous." "It is not Nicole," her publicist tells PEOPLE. "There are a ton of 'Hollywood starlets.'"
So, ignoring the true identity of the skinny gastric bypass starlet, at least we can all breathe a sigh of relief that Nicole Richie wasn't the deluded starlet who surgically had her stomach shrunk. We never believed for a second that it could have been Nicole Richie who had the surgery, though – if Nicole Richie knows anything it's that all those hot-ass 11-year-old boys all think that tummy scars are yucky.
Read more: