Today is a very special day, because it’s the day that Michael Jackson turns 50 – or at least the odd patch of Michael Jackson turns 50.
Seriously, there are probably parts of his face that are only a couple of months old. But anyway, as bewildered as we are that Michael Jackson is 50, his birthday does beg one important question: What do you get a man who’s already spent way beyond his means to have everything?
Turns out the answer might be a telephone interview with Good Morning America, because that’s what he’s been given. And how did Michael Jackson tell an entire country that he would spend this important milestone? By having “a little cake with my children and we’ll probably watch some cartoons.”
Don’t, OK? Just don’t.
It’s slightly odd to think that Michael Jackson is 50 years old, isn’t it? On the one hand he’s still that little boy trapped in a perpetual adolescence thanks to the childhood that was stolen from him by showbusiness. And on the other hand his face is properly messed up and he looks about a million years old like bloody Mumm-Ra or something.
At this moment Michael Jackson is probably reflecting on his first half-century; the epic highs like becoming an iconic megastar while watching Thriller change the way that music was presented forever, and the slumps like that time everyone thought he’d wanked off that little cancer patient.
Maybe Michael Jackson will wonder why he’s been reduced to shaking Japanese businessmens’ hands for cash, or be slightly downbeat about the fact that he no longer lives in Neverland and therefore can’t have his birthday party in a creepy abandoned fairground any more. But it doesn’t matter, because at least Good Morning America is around to cheer Michael Jackson up.
Getting a Michael Jackson interview, even by phone, is quite the achievement. If you usually ask Michael Jackson to speak he’ll either dress up as a woman and run away or just mumble a few lines of We Are The World and slouch off.
So what could Good Morning America glean from Michael Jackson on this momentous occasion? For example, what has Michael Jackson been doing since he was acquitted of being a child molester and everyone stopped liking him?
“I love composing and the whole thing. But I am also raising my children and enjoying it and teaching them to ride bicycles and how to read. I love it.”
Good. He may not be at the top of his game any more, but at least he loves it. Michael Jackson loves what he does. But, with everything he’s been though, would he do it all again?
“I think I would. It is very much worth it. I love the celebration of music and dance and art. I just love it.”
OK, good. Again, Michael Jackson says he loves what he does. Actually, this is getting a bit boring, isn’t it? If only there was a way to get Michael Jackson to say something creepy about how he’s unwittingly ruining the lives of his children by vicariously living his lost childhood out through them:
“I want them to get to do the kind of things I didn’t get to do. So, I fill them with a lot of enjoyment — a lot of amusement. I get pretty emotional when I see them having a wonderful time.”
Perfect. Happy birthday Michael.
THE DREAD PIRATE SAUSAGE! says
I’m getting all soggy now ‘cos it’s just as you’ve said: his childhood was stolen from him even as his father pimped him to Showbiz as a small child.
Bless him for wanting better for his own children. He’s not a predator; just a sadsack having missed a childhood he still wishes he could have.
…
That said, that Mum-ra remark almost made me pee at my desk. / HECKLER FOR THE WIN!!
alonna says
MJ haters make me sick. Whoever wrote this is the one who is a creep
Katerina says
FUCK OFF bitches!!!
Michael Jackson ruelz and he’s a real man not some lame sperm donar like you lot out there.
Mad Lady says
You people are not funny. You get attention by making Michael Jackson look bad Why don’t you go out and get a real job and leave Michael alone!
Sabina says
Well he has been through alot in his past life. I love his music and choreography. Jackson has done some amazing things over the years and still will be. He got a lot of presure on him, i saw Jackson’s profile on T.V it made me think so much that and what he went through i felt what he was feeling it amazed me so much. I use his music for Dance and he has made some amazing beats and rhyms:) xXx
Orlando says
I love reading the other comments. How do you feel now idiot? Michael Jackson was the KING and always will be! I hope you pray to god for your stupidity! RIP MICHAEL! You are the BEST! An Icon that no one could ever be!
Angelica says
NOONE EVER STOPPED LIKING HIM……. THE MEDIA DESTROYED HIM WITH LIES AND HE WAS SET UP DO YOUR RESEARCH FOOLS……
MJ LIVES FOREVER