Traditionally, 21 is the age where a boy finally becomes a man – and what a man Lindsay Lohan has turned into; since it was Lindsay Lohan's 21st birthday yesterday, we can only imagine what a thrill her very taste of alcohol was for her.
Oh, who are we kidding, everyone knows that Lindsay Lohan has already spent most of her life so far chugging enough booze to fill the Hoover Dam over 100 times over. But sadly Lindsay Lohan's 21st birthday apparently passed by with not even a drop of alcohol passing her lips or a trace of cocaine making her drive like an irresponsible dickwad. People magazine even went as far to suggest that Lindsay Lohan spent her birthday in rehab, which we suppose is something – although Lindsay Lohan didn't get to spend her 21st birthday traditionally drunk, she at least did get to spend it traditionally surrounded by emotionally fragile substance abusers who cry a lot and sometimes soil themselves.
As the child star of The Parent Trap with the world at her feet, Lindsay Lohan probably expected that her 21st birthday would be an elegant affair at a swanky hotel, where the cream of the Hollywood A-list would welcome its newest, prettiest and most Oscar-winningest member into adulthood. But fate's a bitch like that, and instead Lindsay Lohan got to spend her 21st birthday tucked away in rehab because she crashed her car and got arrested, possibly with a load of cocaine in her blood.
Weirdly enough, Lindsay Lohan's plans to celebrate her 21st birthday with a glamorous two-day bash at the PURE nightclub in Las Vegas sponsored by a vodka company didn't quite materialise for last night. This may have been because the temptation would have been too great for Lindsay, or because no alcohol company wanted to associate its name with Hollywood's most famous mess, or perhaps because the vodka company found out that it was second choice to sponsor Lindsay Lohan's birthday party after OxyContin, but that's all irrelevant. People reports on how Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 21st:
Rather than the big Las Vegas blowout she had once wanted, Lindsay Lohan quietly marked her 21st birthday Monday in rehab. Lohan's mother and siblings were photographed arriving at Los Angeles International Airport over the weekend for what her mother had said would be a family celebration. And on Monday, Lohan was seen jogging on the beach during a break from her stay at Promises rehab center in Malibu, her latest furlough from the facility, which she entered last month.
However boringly Lindsay Lohan spent her 21st birthday, the important thing is that it looks like she's finally getting her priorities right. Where once Lindsay Lohan wouldn't have let a day as auspicious as her birthday pass without sustaining some sort of injury or shagging some sort of third-rate boyband or ploughing her car into a van, these days she's content enough just to let her closest family briefly interrupt her eternal stay at rehab. So many happy returns to the newly adult Lindsay Lohan, and we look forward to seeing her enter her new life phase – the phase where she still makes as many crappy films as usual but doesn't do enough stupid stuff to keep her in the public eye any more.
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