Lethal Weapon 5 Gets Closer. Think Of A Worse Idea. You Can’t.

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Look, alright, we get it, there are no original ideas left in Hollywood – but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to start doing sequels to Lethal Weapon 4, OK?

Except Hollywood is. So much so that Joel Silver is currently trying to persuade Mel Gibson to make Lethal Weapon 5. Apparently Shane Black has had an idea for Lethal Weapon 5 that’s so amazing it’ll make Lethal Weapon 2 look like Lethal Weapon 4, and the whole thing rests on whether or not Mel Gibson wants to sign on the dotted line again.

Whatever you think of the idea, we’re actually praying that Lethal Weapon 5 does get made. After all, it’s been so long since we’ve been able to sit in the dark screaming “YOU WERE TOO OLD FOR THIS OVER TWO DECADES AGO, YOU HOPELESS GREYING TOSSWEASEL! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT JUST STOPPING? WELL, HAVE YOU?” at a projected image on a screen.

Bruce, Sly, Harrison and now possibly Arnie. That adds up to elderly revisits of Die Hard, Rocky, Rambo, Indiana Jones and Predator. That’s enough, surely.

Ah, we’re just kidding. That’s never enough. In fact, we’ve vowed not to stop until Steven Seagal decides to make our new script for Under Siege 3: What Are Terrorists Doing Hijacking A Stairlift? And Come To Think Of It, Why Does A Stairlift Require An Ex-Navy SEAL Professional Chef Anyway? but that’s for another time.

While we wait for that to happen, though, at least we’ll have Lethal Weapon 5 to look forward to. According to reports, genuine worst film ever Lethal Weapon 4 left so many questions unanswered – like ‘Why doesn’t any of this make sense?’ and ‘Has this film actually made blood come out of my eyes?’ – that Lethal Weapon 5 is now a distinct possibility. And that prospect is getting closer and closer, as Chud reports:

Joel Silver is trying to get Mel Gibson to sign onto the story idea penned by [Shane] Black, which would bring two fresh NYPD officers into the narrative fold. The idea is for Black to direct as well, taking up where Richard Donner failed left off.

Well, OK, if Shane Black is writing and directing Lethal Weapon 5 then actually it might turn out OK. After all, he was responsible for the Lethal Weapon characters in the first place, plus Kiss Kiss Bang Bang proved that he could direct – albeit with a weird insistence to stop every 30 seconds to let Robert Downey Jr burble on about nothing – so actually, we can’t think of a single thing that could stop Lethal Weapon 5 being brilli… oh wait, no. Mel Gibson.

Remember Mel Gibson? He was that man who used to be an actor before he decided to go into drunken Anti-Semitism full-time. Apparently Mel Gibson is the only one dragging his heels over Lethal Weapon 5 at the moment. Whether this is because he primarily sees himself as a director now, or whether he’s just weary about growing the mullet back remains to be seen.

But if Shane Black and Joel Silver really do want Mel Gibson to appear in Lethal Weapon 5, they’re probably going to have to concede some creative power to him. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

We don’t know about you, but actually we’d love to see a blood-porn Lethal Weapon movie conducted entirely in a dead language that ends with Mel Gibson and Danny Glover running down a hill slashing their swords at a terrified army of cartoon Jews. Who wouldn’t?

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Comments

  1. Ann says

    Your article was very funny on the whole, even if the personal swipe at Mel’s public downfall lowered the tone for a moment to something more mean-spirited than witty. But I am still hoping Mel signs on for the fifth installment of Lethal Weapon. There are a lot of really bad movies made these days, but this one, albeit not of much consequence, would be entertaining in a way most movies are not. How do I know that? Because Mel Gibson has not done a major movie that was not at least entertaining. He really is an excellent and interesting actor, no matter what else you may have to say about him. But thanks for making me laugh with your commentary and spin on things.

  2. Gilbert Wham says

    Your rebuttal was far too nice and well-considered, Ann. You seem like too orderly a mind to be posting here I’m afraid. Try drinking a bottle of vodka and hammering a couple of crayons up your nose and into your forebrain first if you fancy another shot.

  3. abide says

    My rebuttal will not be as nice as Ann’s ~ I think you should leave Mel alone about the anti-Semite thing ~ Hollywood had to find some way to discredit him after he made such a powerful Christian movie. How could a man be an anti-Semite if he loves Jesus, who was a Jew? Is that logical? Were there any witnesses? If he was drunk and doesn’t remember what he said, they could make anything up. And if he DID say it, he was drunk, he apologized, let it go. What if we published everything you said when you were drunk? I know some people who would be in jail!

  4. pat says

    Exactly how old do you think Mel Gibson is, anyway? He’s only 51 or 52, not quite ready for the old peoples’ home yet. Enough about the anti-semantic remark, it’s really, really boring.

  5. says

    Abide is not wrong about drunken outbursts that we’d regret afterwards. Just ask those three dead prostitutes in my attic. When I’m tanked right up (or ‘On the Mel’ as it is commonly known) I always blurt out about them to the person I’m with at the time. Good job for me that they’re always roofied to f**k when I do so…and prostitutes themselves…and light enough to carry up the loft ladders.

    Oh, Christ! I’ve done it again haven’t I? Internet-administered roofies all round then. I suppose there’s no chance of a hand job before the inevitable and now quite necessary stranglings is there?

  6. bloodclot says

    they weren’t too old for that shit 20 years ago, excrement mark in your boxer shorts. Why don’t you go and jack off to the matrix: revolutions?

  7. hector lopez says

    mel can do it stallone made rocky ballboa and rambo, bruce willace made live free or die hard ,arnold swartsinegar mite go back to acting, and mel is making mad max 4

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