Predator 3. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes. (Maybe).
Then buzz it up
September 23rd, 2008 at 13:00 by Stuart Heritage
You know what there’s not enough of? Films about really old men titting around in the woods with an invisible alien that looks like Whoopi Goldberg.
If you happen to agree with us then you’re in for a treat - movie producer John Davis has decided to revive the Predator franchise. Not just that, but he wants to bring back the biggest star of any of the Predator movies at the same time. That’s right - Gary Busey.
No, wait, not Gary Busey. Arnold Schwarzenegger. John Davis wants to make Predator 3, and he wants Arnold Schwarzenegger to star in it. Predator 3 is far from official, mind you, because nobody knows what Arnold Schwarzenegger’s long-term political goals are. Also, we assume it’ll probably be quite hard to find anyone clever enough to write a film where the universe’s most advanced game hunters have trouble outwitting a rich old bloke with a funny accent.
It’s now completely fine for older actors to return to their action movie roots. Everyone’s doing it - Bruce Willis made Die Hard 4, Harrison Ford made Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull and Sylvester Stallone’s entire retirement plan seems to involve running through the jungle and firing a machine gun into the air until his knees eventually give out.
But there’s one action star who hasn’t chosen to do that - Arnold Schwarzenegger. Rather than, say, take the easy option and make Conan The Incontinent, Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided to concentrate on his job as Governor or California - a task that involves nothing more than tutting about the paparazzi and making horribly smug tourism adverts sometimes.
But as thrilling as recommending state legislation is, there has to be a part of Arnold Schwarzenegger that misses the old days. The days where all he had to do was frown and explode people in an impenetrable European accent and people would give him a million dollars.
That’s what producer John Davis is hoping, anyway. He’s got it in his head to make Predator 3 and, more than anything else, he wants Arnold Schwarzenegger to be in it. Davis told Collider:
“Well, the Governor has mentioned to me that when he ceases to be Governor, if he doesn’t run for the Senate and all of that stuff, he’d like to do a movie or two again. And I don’t know, maybe we could restart the Predator franchise… We’d have to come up with a really good script and a really great angle on it.”
What? No you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t need a great script for Predator 3 at all. We’ve seen Predator 2, Alien Vs Predator and Alien Vs Predator: Requiem, so we’re pretty sure that if you got a Romanian badger with learning difficulties do draw a picture of an explosion in wax crayon on a sheet of used toilet paper, it’d still probably qualify as the best Predator script that’s been written for 20 years.
Let’s be honest, though. Just because Arnold Schwarzenegger could make Predator 3, it doesn’t mean that he should. By the time he finishes his next term as Governor he’ll be 64 years old, and we just can’t see how that could make Predator 3 any good. We’ve looked at this from all angles, and here are the only ways that Predator 3 with Arnold Schwarzenegger could possibly work.
1 - The Predator has given up hunting for a life of conning the elderly out of their savings by fraudulently posing as a wall insulation salesman… but he picked the wrong vulnerable old man in Arnold Schwarzenegger.
2 - Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Predator decide their fate by having a Sudoku-off.
3 - Rather than coat himself in mud, Arnold Schwarzenegger accidentally defeats the Predator’s heat-vision by popping his colostomy bag on a hot radiator, skidding about in the mess until he’s covered in it and lying there for three days in the cold waiting for one of his children to come and help him up again.
4 - Not making Predator 3 with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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September 23rd, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Bring back Gary Busey. I have him on my GPS as a voice I got from Navtones.com. How can you not love the guy!
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Another Conan film has been greenlit, its fair to say arnie hasnt been asked back for that!
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:18 pm
True story of Viagra and your
grandparents: FilthyRichmond.com
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Um. I’m pretty sure Ahhnold went back to his roots with Terminator 3. Could be wrong?
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
You SON of a bitch!
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:34 pm
ahhnold is gettin’ old… lol
he is doing great where he is…
no offense.
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:52 pm
That is the funniest post. I was LMAO, great writing. Look forward to seeing more since hollywood can’t come up with anything new or fresh. I guess the old people need the money for their hooker, drugs and medical plans.
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Yak, there already was a terminator 3. How could anyone forget that crappy ending?
I would think that even in his “advanced” age Arnold could still whip himself into shape, even if it’s strictly a cameo appearance. I mean how about Dutch getting hired to lead an expedition into another hot jungle and lt the kiddies tackle the preditor.
Same for a new Terminator movie, I mean how ’bout he plays the guy the original Terminator was based on? A scientist that got captured and was forced to flesh up the terminators to “finally” beat the humans. Maybe be offed y a terminator version of himself.
September 24th, 2008 at 12:22 am
that article was painfully unfunny
September 25th, 2008 at 1:48 am
Technically this should be considered the second one. As any copies of the actual second one should be burned and forgotten.
September 25th, 2008 at 3:34 am
Is it true that Arnold Schwarzennegar is old?! That’s what I read one time somewhere!!!
September 29th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
you should kill the asshole that write this article…
man, you talk horrible, really.
predator is a great franchise and bring back the hunter against their 1st enemy would be tremendous…
learn more about movies and then talk…
October 6th, 2008 at 12:55 am
arnold is the man…
but i’m not sure he’d want to do this…
i’ve heard so many proposed movies that he is supposed to do: true lies 2, predator 3 (with danny glover?), inglorious bastards (thats not happening), new terminator (probably won’t even have a cameo in the new one)…i’ve even heard twins 2 (ie: triplets)
i would love to see him come back and do a couple of movies, but i don’t think he will…i mean, stallone is like 60 and rambo was fucking awesome…schwarzenegger can do a lot better, just give him a few months to get back in shape
October 8th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
[...] Unlikely, ‘Predator’ More Possible Arnold Schwarzenegger returning for Predator 3? - The Ampersand Predator 3. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes. (Maybe). | Hecklerspray Moviehole. Schwarzenegger back for Predator 3 ? . __________________ [...]
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:19 am
I think he could easily do it if he wants to, the guy is no fool, not a bad actor either (no Anthony Hopkins but he is OK). The problems with Predators 2 and all Alien films after Aliens including AVP 1 and 2 was that the story sucked. But it did come up with some good concepts and themes.
1) Predators have a strict honour code.
2) Predators admire fighting prowess.
3) Humans are no match for either species but can kill or wound them.
4) Both Humans and Predators hate Aliens and can work together, if they are forced into it.
5) The Predator Medical kit - brilliant.
6) The Weyland-Yutani Corporation.
7) The Predators have been coming here for a very long time and do leave stuff behind - intentionally or otherwise. We have a shoulder cannon now.
8)Shadowy/Black government agencies are lured by this technology and will take stupid risks to acquire it.
If he is getting a bit old to ‘kick ass’ make him an advisor which would fit in with ‘I don’t do this sort of work’ as dramatic irony.
Unfortunately as our planet has made almost no progress in SPACE TRAVEL since Predator I (too busy worrying about ‘man made’ global warming and dreaming up every ’solution’ apart from using one that we know works - Nuclear), then if Arnie is in it it’s got to be earth bound. Which also sucks on many levels.
October 26th, 2008 at 8:11 am
woooooooah lets not write off the OAP that is arnie just yet, we have all seen rocky balboa and ramnbo IV have we not? and in my personal opinion i thought rambo IV was like some sort of vietnam version of saw! was gruesome! and lacked any evidence of CGI, which is a good thing! so bring back predator 3, with arnie and leave out all CGI and you’re onto a winner!
November 10th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
not arny maybe someone like the dwayne ‘the rock’ jhonson!!! or maybe yeah arny but he gets killed in like the first five minutes!! That could work!!
November 24th, 2008 at 11:06 am
ALL OUT ATTACK BY PREDITORS?
EARTH HAS BEEN INVIADED BY UN SEEN FORCE NOBADY KNOWS WHAT IS HAPPNING CIVIL UN REST EVERY WERE DEAD HUMANBEING HANGING FROM THE STREET LIGHTS AND TREES COVERD IN BLOOD FEAR BREAKS OUT AROUND THE WORLD NO BADY FEEL SAFE AT THERE OWN HOMES ARMY HAS BEEN CALLED IN TO HELP THE PEOPLE BUT PEOPLE ARE DIEING ONE AFTER ANOTHER IT IS A SCARY SITE THE U.S AND GOVERMENTS AROUND THE WORLD TRY TO DO WHAT THEY CAN ITS PANIC ALL AROUND HUMANBEINGS HAVE BE COME HOPELESS AND ARE PANICKING IN FEAR THEN THE UNSEEN PREADITORS AND THERE MOTHER SHIPS SHOW THEM SELF THEN ITS ALL OUT WAR DEATH AND DISTRUCATION ALL AROUND HUMANBEING MUST FIGHT OR ELS BECOM HISTORY EVERY NATION ON EARTH IS FIGHTING THEM THERE ARE ALOT OF DEATH AMONGEST HUMAN BEINGS THE HUMANBEINGS HAVE NO CHOSE BUT TO USE NUKES WHICH COULD ALSO SO MEAN THERE OWN SELFS DISTRUCATION .
December 2nd, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Ok lets be honest folks, nobody watches Action movies for the drama, no one cares about the storyline, action movies r about Violence and plenty of it. To say an action movie is bad or should not be made based of a bad storyline is absurd! We go see Schwarzenegger and Stallone movies for action and violence not storylines, go watch Shawshank Redemtion and its like if thats what toots your horn.
Predators r fictional creatures in a fictional future, Hello! Not real, so how can any story based on make believe beings in a possible future be considered Emmy material, StarWars had humans against humans, believable if far-fetched.
Make another predator and Terminator movie, put Arnold in a starring role, and watch as those movies make hundreds of millions of dollars from people like me who just want a real violent action movie and Schwarzenegger is the best at that, makeup will take care of the wrinkles and special effects the physical action problems that arise. The movie will be a bigger success with Arnie in the main role and you all know it!
Quit your whinning and complaining, there is a reason none of you are movie producers of Blockbusters, you dont recognise greatness even when its standing infront of you. I bet even after all the nay saying, each of you will be in line on opening night to watch those movies.
Watch them for what they are, Action Movies,
Enjoy them for what they are, Action Movies.
Judge them for what they are, Attion Movies
Duh!
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:21 pm
i agree that Terminator 3 was gri8 but bad ending..
Arlond is the one who can make it for PREDATOR 3 and also
new Terminator 5 or maby True Lies 2 .. but CONAN ?? no pleaz no .. i don think he can do it again..its so far dude..
good luck Arni and hope u just like u say..” i’ll be back”
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:12 pm
wow, whoever wrote this is a real douche bag, critic wannabe. shut the fuck up and go write about harry potter or some gay ass shit like that.