Never let it be said that we of hecklerspray are ever anything but right all the time. ALL THE TIME*.
Just as we say, non-stop, that Hollywood has run out of ideas – reporting on the Goonies sequel, The Smurfs movie (Lindsay Lohan‘s role as ‘Big Lesbian Smurf’ still unconfirmed) and the fear we all felt when the Friends movie was rumoured – they come and do it again. This time it’s the turn of Lethal Weapon 5, where they really, really will be too old for this shizzle.
Or they might be too drunk, who knows?
The rumours of a fourth film in the trilogy became a reality in 1998, with the imaginatively titled Lethal Weapon 4 showing most of us Jet Li for the first time – that bit where he dismantles the gun and the bit where he does a ridiculous kick over his head are easily the best ones.
Unlike these days when everything he makes involves him flying through trees with a bamboo cane up his arse for eight hours while the most basic of stories is made out to be the most thought-provoking and intelligent social commentary in a post-modern society to date.
He was good in Lethal Weapon 4 though. One of the few good things about it, actually.
But that’s not going to stop the gravy train now, is it? Oh no – your memories have to be purged for old ideas and your pleasant nostalgia for a series has to be used against you in order to make Lethal Weapon 5 a box office hit. Or at least a box office ‘we made our money back on it’.
The writer of the original Lethal Weapon, Shane Black, has apparently written a script for a new adventure for Riggs and Murtaugh. In one of the most unsurprising plots of all time, the movie will see Riggs, about to quit the force, pull Murtaugh out of retirement to solve one last case. Probably involving Johnny Foreigner somewhere along the way.
There are no definites yet, but Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are apparently in talks to reprise their roles. No word on Chris Rock though, thankfully.
Please don’t let him be in it again – it would be one step too far.
But the questions have to be asked – do you really want to go and watch Danny Glover shout “Riiiiiiiiiggggggggsssssss!” thirty-two times per minute at Mel Gibson? And do you want to see Mel Gibson hate the je… oops… we mean, do you want to see him fix his arm after he’s dislocated it again? Or do you want to see Joe Pesci being even older and even more annoying than ever before?
And does anyone want to see Chris Rock acting, at all, ever?
If the answer is yes to any of those questions, then watch the first two, half watch the third then only pay attention when Jet Li is on the fourth. There you go – satisfaction guaranteed.
No word on any kind of release date, but it can’t be too far in the future. Too old for this shit, and all that.
*Not all of the time. Hush down.
Mithaearon says
As long as he gets to call a female officer “sugar tits” I will be happy
David says
Excellent, I bloody love lethal weapon, they DO NOT make actions films like this anymore. I think it would be a bit much for joe pesci though as since LW4 he has only starred in one film. son of a bitch.
euclid says
David, when you make toast, do you watch the toaster
and get extremely excited by the prospect of toast
“magically” popping up from the hole that the bread disappeared into?
David says
No, so shutup.
gir says
You do, don’t you.
Sonya says
If they did anything it should be Murtagh is retired Riggsgets new partner and he is worsde than he was. A Karma thing