You know, we were almost positive that this time we'd absolutely heard the last of Anna Nicole Smith, Larry Birkhead, Howard Stern, Dannielynn Hope or that judge who kept crying like a deranged lunatic all the time, but that shows what we know.
Some of the above names have made a daring last-minute spurt for one final shot at the headlines. Although we'd like nothing more than to tell you that Anna Nicole Smith clawed her way out of her grave to make an uncomfortable sex film with the sobbing judge, the truth is a little more dreary. Larry Birkhead – ex-boyfriend of Anna Nicole Smith, father of Dannielynn Hope, defeater of Howard K Stern and he will have his vengeance in this life or the next – is being sued by his former lawyer Debra Opri because she says that Larry Birkhead hasn't paid her yet.
Sorry for leading you on with the reanimated corpse/ crying judge sex tape thing. We can see how a story about a lawsuit over legal bills would come as a bit of a let-down after that.
It's a scientific fact that 98% of the world's population is so thoroughly bored with anything to do with Anna Nicole Smith that they'll literally explode if they so much as even catch a glimpse of another Anna Nicole Smith story. If you know one of these people, don't let them read it. If you are one of those people, try not to explode near anyone that's eating because that would be sort of disgusting.
The Anna Nicole Smith story – and thus the Anna Nicole Smith Story movie story – was so neatly tied up, too. We knew that Anna Nicole Smith was dead, we knew that Anna Nicole Smith was buried, we knew how Anna Nicole Smith died, we knew that Larry Birkhead was Anna Nicole Smith's babydaddy and we knew that one of Anna Nicole Smith's judges liked to smoke doobies. It was a perfect hermetic story, and we were hoping it'd be the end.
Of course it wasn't the end. Now that Larry Birkhead is back safely in America with baby Dannielynn Hope, his old lawyer Debra Opri has decided to sue him for failure to pay his legal bills. ABC reports:
Debra Opri wants to force binding arbitration under the terms of a contract in which she agreed to represent Birkhead in September, according to the lawsuit filed in Superior Court. Opri said her work on Birkhead's behalf was "extensive, entailed hundreds of hours of work" and required her to travel to multiple states and outside the country. The lawsuit did not specify a dollar amount.
As yet, neither Larry Birkhead or Debra Opri – who suddenly left Larry Birkhead's employment just before the paternity results were announced, for no specified reason – have decided to publicly comment on the lawsuit, so we can assume that all the trash-talk is being saved for the court. However, it might be wise that – if Larry Birkhead really hasn't paid Opri – he should quickly settle up his debt because chances are he's about to learn that not all court cases can be won and lost with a potent blast of his sperm.
Regardless of who is in the right, this lawsuit must be a welcome diversion for Debra Opri, who's spent the last few weeks trying her best to make David Hasselhoff look like a terrible drunken father. Speaking personally, though, we'd love for Larry Birkhead to quietly win this lawsuit – that way he won't need to rush his Goodnight, My Sweet Anna Baby stageplay into production to make some fast money, and a world without a Goodnight, My Sweet Anna Baby stageplay is bound to infinitely better than a world with a Goodnight, My Sweet Anna Baby stageplay, right?
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Jill from Western Australia says
Like Aruba the Bahamas take their time, drag out all proceedings. Finally after almost 9 months Larry has his daughter, now the hard faced bitch wants her money immediately…WAIT YOUR TURN!!!…you have neither compassion nor “timing”…languish on the memory of the Lobster dinner…I hope that you share it with HK$ & Virgie….YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER!!!
Babs says
You are so right on!