In the past, when we've found ourselves divorced and trying to deal with court-imposed child visitation rights, we've always tried not to film ourselves topless and so drunk that we're unable to speak or push clumps of hamburgers into our mouths.
David Hasselhoff could have learnt a thing or two from us about that, since the now-infamous video of drunk David Hasselhoff sprawled on a hotel room floor grunting indignantly at his teenage daughter has resulted in him being temporarily banned from seeing his children by a judge. Which is a shame, because David Hasselhoff was planning a special dinner to make it up with his children. A dinner of hamburgers. In a hotel. Eaten off the floor. With their tops off. A bit pissed up.
After first finding fame by starring in a TV show about a slightly effete-sounding car and then consolidating the fame by starring in a lifeguard show that made Princess Diana want to do it with him, David Hasselhoff is now most famous for being a frightening drunkard who wets himself in airports, starts ridiculous fights at Wimbledon and may have broken his wife's nose in a fight once. And now, thanks to the big drunk Hasselhoff video, we also know that David Hasselhoff isn't especially great at eating meat-based fast food products off the floor of a hotel room when he isn't wearing a shirt.
It's this shocking inability to combine being drunk, eating a burger and wearing appropriate clothing that has got David Hasselhoff banned from seeing his children for the next two weeks. Well, it was either that or the video shocked Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach into seeking emergency suspension of his child visitation privileges. E! Online knows for sure:
Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Mark Juhas on Monday suspended the actor's visitation privileges with his two teenage daughters in the wake of leaked footage showing the Hoff in what appears to be a rather advanced stage of intoxication. "The videotape changes the landscape, it just does," Juhas said in court.
Thanks to this ruling – brought to court by Pamela Bach and attorney Debra Opri, David Hasselhoff will not be allowed one-on-one contact with his daughters Taylor and Hayley until May 21 when the ban will be reviewed. However Hasselhoff is allowed to grunt uncommunicatively at them via a telephone as often as he likes.
Is it just us, or can we smell a fad here? It used to be that celebrities couldn't be seen without their tiny dogs, but with Alec Baldwin calling his daughter a "rude little pig" on a voicemail and David Hasselhoff getting filmed drunk by his teenage daughter, the hottest new trend of the moment in Hollywood seems to be publicly showing the world your basic lack of parenting skills. Coming up soon – Brad Pitt fires Shiloh Nouvel out of a cannon through 190 panes of glass for crying too much at night. Probably. Actually, don't hold your breath for that one.
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Shiver says
Ahem. Debra Opri. That’s the same lawyer Larry Birkhead fired, who then demanded lots of money from him.
Apparently, she gets around.
I don’t mean to complain (ok, I do), but could you fix it so the comment box doesn’t go up behind the
advertisment over there —>
Thanks and stuff.