If you care about Kourtney Kardashian’s pregnancy then, well, you’re part of a tiny, very specific demographic.
But that’s not our point. We meant to say that you’ve probably lost a lot of sleep lately. Not because you were wondering who the father of Kourtney Kardashian’s baby is, but because you’re medically insane and you believe that monsters will eat your soul whenever you close your eyes.
Anyway, the father of Kourtney Kardashian’s baby has been revealed as Scott Disick, whose surname sounds a little bit like ‘dizzy’, a little bit like ‘sick’ and a little bit like ‘dick’. Apt.
Remember when nobody knew who the father of Anna Nicole Smith‘s baby was, and there was an exciting period of time where lawyers and chefs and ancient German pretend princes all claimed that they had a hand in conceiving the child? And remember earlier this week when the paternity of Michael Jackson’s children was called into question by Oliver Twist, who claimed that he FedExed Michael a jiffy bag full of sperm or whatever it was he said? Well you haven’t seen anything yet.
Because the hunt to find the father of Kourtney Kardashian’s unborn baby has only just begun, and it promises to be a rip-roaring rollercoaster of barnstorming mystery and excitement of the kind never been experienced in the entire history of mankind. Or at least it would be, were it not for two important facts:
1 – The entire population of the planet can be split into groups of those who don’t know who Kourtney Kardashian is, and those who do know who Kourtney Kardashian is but couldn’t give a flying monkey turd about her. There is no third group.
2 – After keeping everyone waiting for all of about 15 seconds, Kourtney Kardashian has decided to reveal that the father of her baby is some chap named Scott Disick. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:
She says, “It’s Scott’s, my ex-boyfriend who’s now my boyfriend. He’s very excited. I’m expecting in December.” And Kardashian admits her beau handled news of her pregnancy better than she did herself: “When I found out I was so shocked, I was so confused, I didn’t know what to do. But he was so for it and so excited from the beginning.”
So that’s where we can wrap the mystery of Kourtney Kardashian’s babydaddy up. The father is her ex-boyfriend who she’s decided to get back together with so the baby can grow up in a stable, family-based environment filled with the sort of lingering parental resentment that only comes when a couple who stopped loving each other several months ago are forced back together for the good of a child they’ve secretly come to hate.
All that’s left to do now is to wait to see if Kourtney Kardashian shares her own mother’s awful fondness for alliterative names at the expensive of conventional spelling. And we’ll only know that after the baby has been born, when little Kharlie Kardashian is introduced to the world.
So until then you can go back to not caring about Kourtney Kardashian.
Oh, you never actually stopped? Fine.
Kate says
WHy is there a picture of Khloe; Kourtney is the one who’s pregnant!
megan says
keep your kardashians straight, will you?
JoeMomma says
Because nobody really cares.
GAIL says
If you dont care why are you writing about it and reading about it.
The only thing wrong here is that Scott is the father he is a dirt bag and she could do so so much better. Happy for you Kourtney but dump him and raise the baby by yourself, I raised 2 with a lot less than you have because the father was no good just like Scott, your baby will be better off with out him in it’s life. Good luck
Mr. Kool says
Reality shows and the people who RETART themselves on them a whack unless its about re-modeling a cheap house for a nice place to live, the kind of show you can actually learn something from. TV sucks.