Tricky time of year for us, this; there's no Celebrity Big Brother, no X Factor and no Eurovision for us to do betting odds for – and nobody wants to see five days of Dancing On Ice – so just what in the name of James Cameron's bone box are we to do.
Then the answer hit us like a flash. Nobody knows who the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn Hope is – and plenty of people are saying it's them – so let's do betting odds for that. From now until Friday we're going to be looking at all the various runners and riders who have claimed to have impregnated Anna Nicole Smith before she died. Tasteless? A little bit, but if you're going to go to hell for betting, you may as well go to hell for betting on the parentage of a dead pornstar's daughter.
So here's part one of this week's Anna Nicole Smith babydaddy betting odds – for Alex Denk and Frederic von Anhalt – with betting odds from Paddy Power…
Alex Denk – Alex Denk? Of all the thousands of blokes claiming to have done the nasty with Anna Nicole Smith enough to knock her up with a strangely-named daughter, Alex Denk has enjoyed easily the lowest profile. Alex Denk liked to call himself Anna Nicole Smith's "chef slash bodyguard slash trainer," but now that Anna Nicole has died, Denk seems to have tacked on the title 'sperm-spuffer' onto the end. Although the most he'll admit to is the sharing of a Hello Kitty birthday cake, Alex Denk also claims that "anything is possible" with regards to her pregnancy, which leads us to believe that either a) Alex Denk is a bit simple, b) Alex Denk had a bunch of sex with Anna Nicole Smith but doesn't want to admit it or c) Alex Denk wanked into some cake mix and Anna Nicole Smith pushed it up her fanny. Just for the fact that Alex Denk only came forward as a potential Anna Nicole Smith babydaddy after Anna Nicole died, we're happy to stick him as the rank outsider to be Dannielynn Hope's father. Current Anna Nicole Smith babydaddy betting odds – 14/1
Frederic von Anhalt – That's Prince Frederic von Anhalt to you, buddy. And – if his paternity case is legitimate – Frederic von Anhalt is the stone-cold proof that Anna Nicole Smith's taste in men was way beyond screwy. A 74-year-old German who isn't really a prince of anything, Prince Frederic von Anhalt has had a mental life. A former masseur, he's apparently made millions of dollars by buying his title from an elderly princess and selling it on to anyone who wants it. Frederic von Anhalt is most famous for being married to Zsa Zsa Gabor, even though he has openly stated that he's never loved her. Plus he once sued Viagra. Sound weird yet? Frederic von Anhalt also says he had a decade-long affair with Anna Nicole Smith before she died, even though there's no proof that the two of them actually even met. Is Frederic von Anhalt the father of Anna Nicole Smith's orphan baby? Everything points to a no, but we're learning to expect all sorts of barmy old crap as far as Anna Nicole Smith is concerned. Current Anna Nicole Smith babydaddy betting odds – 12/1
Tomorrow – It's the Howard K Stern Paternity Special! But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Anna Nicole Smith Babydaddy betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.