The day after Michael Jackson died, one face was everywhere – one harrowing, barely-human, oddly-coloured face.
But enough about Uri Geller. Mark Lester was everywhere too. Oh come on, you know Mark Lester. He played Oliver Twist in the 1968 movie Oliver! He’s the man who a) played a fictional lonely boy looking for acceptance in a cruel world, b) is a real-life child-star who looks like he struggled with the transition to adulthood and c) was befriended by Michael Jackson for some reason.
Oh, and d) Mark Lester says he’s the biological father of Michael Jackson’s daughter. Which didn’t take long.
Michael Jackson’s death has thrown up a few surprises, hasn’t it? The Diana Ross thing, the Jackson Three thing, the having his brain lopped out and being shoved into a gigantic golden coffin so that the boy who came seventh on Britain’s Got Talent could shout at him thing. But no surprise was bigger than the fact that Michael Jackson’s best friend was apparently an anonymous-looking osteopath from Cheltenham.
He’s Mark Lester, the man who played Oliver Twist in Oliver! 41 years ago. And they were big pals. They hung out together, they spoke on the phone – Michael even made Mark the godfather to his children. It must have been nice for Michael Jackson to have someone like Mark Lester around – not a sycophant, not a money-grubbing family member, not an ethically dubious doctor willing to indulge Michael’s numerous addictions for a fee, but a normal man he could trust to the ends of the Earth.
Until he died, that is, because once that happened Mark Lester could start telling everyone that he’s the real biological father of Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris. Which, funnily enough, he’s done. According to the News Of The World:
“It’s been a secret for so long,” said Mark. “In 1996 Michael asked me if I would give him my sperm and I said yes. It was a gift to him, no money was paid, it was something I was honoured to do. He wanted children so badly.”… Paris followed just over a year later, on April 3, 1998. And Rowe has admitted being artificially inseminated using anonymous sperm.
So we can take one of three things from this news:
1 – Mark Lester is the father of Paris Jackson.
2 – Mark Lester is lying.
3 – Mark Lester donated some sperm to Michael Jackson but, rather than using it to father a child, Michael simply put on some wellies and splashed around in it for a couple of hours.
Which one is true? Well, Michael Jackson’s family have denied the claims, saying that Michael was the biological father, but on the other hand Mark Lester has apparently offered to take a paternity test to prove it once and for all.
And if you ask us, it’s not a moment too soon. After all, the kids are now firmly in the custody of Katherine Jackson, and that worries us. They don’t want to be raised in a stable, loving environment by a woman with a proven track record. They were brought up by Michael Jackson – they want drama and excitement and the occasional terrifying balcony-dangle.
So maybe, just maybe, having their mouths swabbed for DNA again and again every time some crackpot with a vague association to their recently-dead father decides that they might make a few quid by claiming to be their real biological parent will provide the drama they so desperately need. Thank you, Mark Lester. From the bottom of our hearts.
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Sophie says
That was so funny! Thanks!
Agree, the kids should be left alone. I wonder how many more “dads” will appear in the future…
Matt Bregazzi says
Point number 3 is probably the most disturbing imagery you’ve yet conjured up Stuart. A new high.
Eugene says
It wouldn’t be such an issue if the kids actually looked somewhat like their father! Given that all of his ‘kids’ are lily white (and that Jackson started off black, before getting an aftermarket conversion, and should thus have passed at least some melanin down to his descendants), it’s difficult for people *not* to wonder about this.
indranee says
the kids are *NOT* “lily white”. they clearly look mixed-race. get off of the tabloids, people, and start reading some BOOKS.
they’re all Michael Jackson’s biological offspring. for pete’s sake, let this rest. have some mercy on the kids and Jackson’s soul. leave him and his children alone.
lou says
Yep!!!! He’s the ONE! I do believe that Paris is for sure his Babygirl as is Prince his Babyboy….Please let the truth be known so he may raise his off spring in a normal home. Michael was the one to ask to meet Mark 30 years ago. Mark has a lovely family and is a beautiful family man. I can’t wait for the DNA test!!!!!
We are the world…..and look at the twist and turns….Michael has created……Man That Man was busy…..Rest in peace dear Michael
euclid says
Michael told me that the father was a unicorn. Seriously.