Michael Jackson’s kids must be going through a horrific time at the moment – their dad has just died, after all.
Worse still, it looks like they’re going to be at the centre of a confusing, emotionally-exhausting custody battle. But maybe, just maybe, help is at hand. And it comes in the shining, mad-eyed, massively unsuitable form of Diana Ross.
That’s right. Michael Jackson stated in his will that if his mother is unable to look after his kids, then Diana Ross – his co-star in The Wiz – should. And if she can’t, then the giant plasticine rabbit from Moonwalker should. Probably.
Right, this is probably going to take some explaining. Michael Jackson is dead, this much we know. And, aside from massive debt and a robot version of his own head, Michael Jackson also left behind three young children. And that’s where things start to get confusing.
Because Michael Jackson almost certainly wasn’t the biological father of the children. And the woman who everyone thought was the biological mother of the children – the one who traded all form of parental access for cash three years ago – might not be the mother after all. And that’s why Michael Jackson has decided that the only person who could ever properly raise his kids is his mother Katherine – who you may remember as the woman who sold Michael Jackson’s childhood for a quick buck 40 years ago, ultimately setting him on the path that led to his death.
The problem with this is that Katherine Jackson is a 79-year-old women, and it doesn’t seem very practical for her to care for Michael Jackson’s kids. Not because the children will be freaked out by the prospect of living with a frail, gnarled old lady – because, come on, look at who their dad was – but because it’d obviously be quite exhausting for her. So, like the all-knowing figure of universal love that he was, Michael Jackson concocted a plan-B while writing his will.
That plan? Fobbing the kids off to Diana Ross. Seriously. AFP reports:
“I have intentionally omitted to provide my former wife, Deborah Jean Rowe Jackson,” Jackson stated in the will, which was dated July 7, 2002. “If any of my children are minors at the time of my death, I nominate my mother, Katherine Jackson as guardian … If Katherine Jackson fails to survive me, or is unable or unwilling to act as guardian, I nominate Diana Ross as guardian.”
Diana Ross. Diana Ross. How’s that going to make Debbie Rowe feel, for crying out loud? She can’t look after the children but Diana Ross – the notoriously cranky and apparently balding pensioner who was once arrested for allegedly fondling a security guard’s breasts at an airport and has spent time in rehab this decade dealing with her drug and alcohol problems – can? Talk about a kick in the teeth.
We feel for Michael Jackson’s kids, we really do. Imagine how they’ll feel, sitting down day after day to listen to another one of Auntie Diana’s interminable stories about what Gene Simmons‘ penis looks like. And they won’t even be able to go outside for a kickabout because Diana Ross is crap at that as well.
Still, it could be worse. It’s clear that Michael Jackson wanted his kids to be cared for by a star from one of his films, so those kids should probably be breathing a sigh of relief that they’re not currently on a minibus heading towards Joe Pesci‘s house. That’s something, right?
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Imoonah says
I understand the media and the need to write catchy articles, however, this one is in very poor taste. The undertone is hateful. This family and his kids are greiving. There was a lost of life her. The choice of wording as I read this just came across in very very poor taste.
Yvette says
I agree with you totally. Whoever wrote this article, you are obvisiouly not working with a full deck. You are truly a sad a$$ hole that needs to get a life. I feel sorry for you.
Bubbles says
Michael Jackson honored the only woman he ever loved through his will. Diana Ross was the love of his life, and regardless of the ups and downs in her life you can’t change that.
QuicktoSay says
The person who wrote this is mean spirited. If they are really concern for the children…they wouldn’t have made comments about Ross this way. Apparently, the idiot didn’t do his/her homework that Ross has raised 5 children that are stable and well adjusted. She is a an excellent mother for Jackson’s kids. Everyone in the entertainment industry can confirm that Ross is fitting to be a guardian to these children.
carlinphxaz says
The writer of this article (Stuart Heritage) is a complete idiot. Obviously, he knows absolutely NOTHING about the close relationship between Diana and Michael, and why Michael would obviously choose Diana to take care of his kids in case his mother was unable to do so. For starters, Diana Ross served as a surrogate mother figure for the Jackson kids, and especially Michael, when they were away from their family and beginning their careers. Also, Diana Ross has been a wonderful, caring mother to her own children and sacrificed much in her career to be with them. All of her children, who are now adults, are successful, well-adjusted individuals. I wonder how it is possible that you could actually be hired to write for a “news” website when you are disregard the basic facts of the people you write about?
TheArcher says
I agree with QuicktoSay: Ms. Ross, while facing her own inner struggles, has managed to raise 5 healthy, talented children of whom none have been touched with a hint of scandal. I recently saw an interview in which the Ross children stated that to them she was just plain ole “Mommie”. She was there for them when then awakened in the morning and was there to tuck them in. She was known to fly home from concerts just to be there for them. We will never know that depth of the relationship that Michael and Diana shared, but it must have been special for him to even consider her as a possible guardian for his children.
Nona Dog says
The fact that so few people can see through this huge comedy of errors amazes me. Its ALL about the money, folks. Wherever those children end up, their future happiness is definitely in peril. And can’t some of you realize that Mr Heritage, being closer to whole phony Hollywood scene, has a much truer idea of what is going on behind the fan mag BS and hoopla. Hollywood is a cesspool, folks, and you’d better believe it. Its a fools Paradise, and most of the entertainers belong there. Is it worth it? If fame and money are your basic values, I suppose so. Jackson was an entertainer, people. He was destroyed in the process. He wasn’t the second coming of Christ, so just get over it.
ongatar says
Not the end of the world, he could’ve left them to Bubbles or Fred Astaire. It’s really sad for lil’uns, though. But my heart goes to Blanket, poor lil’fella doesn’t even have a mother on paper.
Nahara07 says
This dude Stuart Heritage makes a living beating people into the ground with his articles. Regardless of his very limited opinions it is very bad taste to badmouth the departed, especially before they are even laid to rest. All those gone before us deserve respect.
Aside from that, Michael chose the two women he loved and trusted most in the world and most likely felt safest himself to give his children the same care and love he obviously shared with them. It is not an easy thing to a) picture your children growing up with out you and b) choose someone you feel is fit to raise your children well. Most people figure on being there until their children are at least grown. We will never know what made Michael choose his mother and Diana Ross other than his love and adoration and an obvious special relationship. To speculate what it was, how deep it was is pointless because we will never know.
Despite all the bizarre things and rumours that followed him, we lost a phenomenal musician/performer and one of the most gentle souls in the world today who was also one of the most misunderstood people in the world because of the gap between fame and normality.
Michael
Sunny says
Oh look, must be all my personal friends showing up to post in their best spaz-tastic form.
Sadness, this, a preternaturally youthful, drunken senior citizen selected as a Mommy. Oh, wait, basically the same as Jackson’s own Mommy. So well, still sad.
Tragic for the kids, their true and actual parentage likely to be kept as secret as the details on the JFK assassination. We can only hope not.
RISE says
Agreeing with the most on here, you are a jerk and very mean. You obviously have your own grudges blamed on someone else for whatever idiotic reason. Go fly a kite and eat ice cream. Nothing more
sharareyes says
the writer o this article always write a stupid and poor storys! he shouldnt be allowed to write! everything is nonesense dont listen to him!
MJSupperFan says
MJ IZ dA bestist stew-art you ar a bad man and a treible riter u shood go bak 2 skul and llarn your righing… “I donut like u setudart”!@#@@!!!
RespectMike'sWishes says
Debbie Rowe was a “SMOOTH CRIMINAL” right from the start … she’s disgusting … only a darn FOOL would consider her (or anyone else that may be coming out of the woods) suitable.
DianaRoss says
Sorry, perhaps you write good articles, but this article is ridiculous … don’t you get it YET !?!?!
For Michael, Diana Ross was “THE ONE”. He really really loved her, and he lusted for her in “Dirty Diana” (she’s not dirty).
She happens to be the woman he had wanted to have children with … he had no intensions of surrogacy with her!!!
He died loving her.
Jacki says
How can so many people be so judgmental??? Every parent makes mistakes and it is not anyone’s place to ridicule them and as far as that goes are you speaking as an actual witness of those supposed “rumors” or are you that naive and mean spirited?
As hard as that may be sometimes try to put yourself in their position before you stick your foot in your arse ops, I meant to say, mouth, oh well, same thing isn’t it.
You didn’t learn anything by way of Michael Jackson, that’s quiet apparent.
chilvary says
yes the person who make this comment of Ross have nothing to say because Michael have said who have to take care of his children and Ross is able for that.So if u don’t have anything to do never u make such comment but in life everyone have a point but u have to respect Michael for his will.
Danny says
The writer of this article is an original hater. Whether of Michael or Diana Ross or some group of people, I do not know.
Anonymoose says
Apparently Debbie Rowe was good enough for your idol at some point…
There's a Lot of Them out There says
Danny is an imbecile. Whether this is genetic or the result of his upbringing and education, I do not know.
k. says
You are obviously not a Michael Jackson fan, Diana Ross was the love of his life. Diana Ross raised five kids whom all came out great. He wanted her to be the mother of his children and if he couldn’t have that wish on earth he would in the afterlife.
ruth says
I would question the raising of the writer if this is what a hard days work amounts to. Diana Ross is more than a fit mother.
simon says
My pop-idol,MJ left with grief but his kids-choice-will be Diana there4 she does best only if otherwise.
blkshepherd says
The author of this article obviously is an idiot. Clearly reading crap and fit for the toliet drop. This stuart idoit is talking about two legends that names will live on in the history books for all time. On the other hand Pea brain here will be forgotton about as quickly as he appeared on the scene. If you call this writing..truly its not only michael addicted to drugs..but You definately smoking that crack pipe writing trash like this and whoever hired you, your sure as hell embarssing to them and I question their intelligence because it makes them look just as bad.
Kuni says
This author tries too hard to be entertaining/funny while showing mock concern for Jackson’s children. I’ve never been a fan of Michael’s, but after his death my eyes were opened to the magnitude of people that were willingly ignorant about any facts pertaining to Jackson’s life. If the author did a bit of research then he’d know the history that Michael and Diana shared together. But hey, to hell with basic facts, it’s a free for all because it’s just Wacko Jacko. Comedians get an excuse, people like this author do not.
I never cared much about celebrities, but Michael did not deserve all this animosity towards him based on half-truths and out right lies. He wasn’t an angel as proclaimed by his fans and he wasn’t the monster that the media painted him as. He was human; probably more like us than we’ll ever know. I’m glad MJ has passed on from this hypocritical world. His children are in good hands, God bless them.
beautiful1 says
I agree with Bubbles that Michael Jackson still loved and trusted Diana Ross very much and he let everyone know it by wanting Diana to take care of his children if his mother Kathrine could not.I do believe that Diana was the love of his life and he never forgot her.So,sorry Elizabeth Taylor,Michael DID love another woman (besides his mother)more and deeper than you!!
Larry says
Sir,
Long after your great grandchildren have forgooten your name, they and the world will know who Diana Ross is.
You are truly classless.
glam says
BTW, We have created a MJ/DR Forum in association with different partnersites, about they both together, but also with a big separate Michael and Diana section. We would be glad if you join in ^^