So far the death of Michael Jackson has given a lot to his fans – but what if you’re a fan of giant anticlimaxes?
Don’t worry – Michael Jackson has you covered, too. Because the custody battle over Michael Jackson’s kids, which looked certain to be a scrap between Katherine Jackson, Debbie Rowe, the children’s biological parents and Diana Flipping Ross, is over. From now on, those kids belong to Katherine Jackson.
The children must be thrilled – because nobody’s more like Michael Jackson than Katherine Jackson. Apart from a half-melted waxwork figurine of a Munch painting, obviously, but that’d just be impractical.
As ridiculous as the (literally) brainless death of Michael Jackson and all the ensuing hoopla was, it’s important to remember that there are children involved.
No, not like that you pervert. We mean Michael Jackson’s actual kids. Or the kids that Michael Jackson claimed were his, at least. Christ, this is confusing. Anyway, this last last month must have been unbearable for Michael’s three children. They’ve lost their father, they’ve been forced to cry on global television by Janet Jackson and – worst of all – they’ve realised that nobody really wants them.
The custody battle for Michael Jackson kids was supposed to be epic – Katherine Jackson was supposed to want them, Debbie Rowe was supposed to want them, Diana Ross was supposed to want them, their own biological parents might have wanted them – but none of that happened. Diana Ross went quiet, the real parents never turned up and Debbie Rowe told the whole world that she didn’t want anything to do with them. That left 79-year-old Katherine Jackson, who got custody of the kids yesterday, more or less by default. Time reports:
Michael Jackson’s brood will indeed be growing up Jackson, but not without the occasional visit from a familiar face. Debbie Rowe will officially return to the lives of her two birth children, according to a joint statement between Rowe’s and Katherine Jackson’s attorney, released early Thursday.
Good. The children have been through a horrific upheaval, so it’s heartening to know that they’ll spend the rest of their lives being looked after by their grandmother. Well, not the rest of their lives, obviously. The woman’s almost 80, for crying out loud. At best she’s probably only got the strength to raise them for another five years or so, at which point they’ll have to go through this whole harrowing procedure again.
But, still, it’s nice that Debbie Rowe has agreed to visit the children from time to time, so at least their constant morbid fear that they’ll witness the deaths of two of their guardians within the space of a couple of years will be punctuated by the awkwardness of occasional semi-formal appointments with the woman who famously sold away her parental rights for cash while Michael Jackson was still alive. That’s something, right?
But, hey, on the plus side that new Jackson Three album is going to be pretty kickass.
PleaseJustStop says
I’m happy that there grandmother has custody of them, and in NO WAY did Janet force them to do anything!! that heartbroken little girl wanted to let the world know just how much she loves her daddy and the bull that you are posting should have stayed inside of your crazy little brain along with all the of the other horrible things you have to say!!! SMDH!
Lisa says
You’re a loser. You contradict yourself in your own story. You have very few of the facts straight. Get a life trash bag.
:( says
u suck
sputnikbaby says
good to know that the kids are going to be with their grandmother. it’s not like she let her husband abuse her own kids.
mosadi says
Okay sir, you are a member of the family, and you know katherine very well, bravo to you!!
rick says
hey stewart…( a nerdy name for an idiot who thinks he can write) this story you tried to write is full of ignorance and stupidity…and as for you lamblasting diana ross, you are nothing to her but some trashy homo writer who needs to do more exploring that writng what come out of his but! michael ….knew diana well, they have many secrets…he lived with her from the age of nine to 14, when his parents finally mmoved to la. diana is a rich woamn who needs no money and would not take these kids money away from them…diana has raised five beautiful…respectful and successful children…whereas michael did not want his kids to go to anyone but katherine (money hungry mother) and diana ross, but it seems that every jackson wants to raise them because of the 40% they inherited from their father. so stewart….my opinion is that you take a journalist class and quit writing b.s.!
anne catherine says
love you so mch a mj on taime love you forever the best