Keira Knightley is perfectly comfortable within her own body, which is odd because there’s really not much room in there.
So when people try messing about with the way she looks, Keira Knightley gets all stroppy. For example, the publicity department of Keira Knightley’s latest movie The Duchess think the film will be more popular if the film’s posters are airbrushed to give Keira Knightley a giant pair of knockers.
And, quite rightly, Keira Knightley has put her foot down. Her body is her body and she doesn’t want to mislead anybody about it. Besides, The Duchess is a costume drama, so the only way anyone can make the film popular is to airbrush a load of dinosaurs and robots and explosions and the phrase ‘It’s OK boys – you see nipples!’ onto the poster. Any fool knows that.
Keira Knightley has always been a bit touchy about certain things. She’s always complaining about the amount of attention she gets, but she usually does it from the front cover of magazines. It’s her body, though, that gets Keira Knightley really riled up.
Keira’s always been strangely bullish about how she looks. She’s happy to admit that she’s skinny, but if you actually call her skinny, Keira Knightley will sue you. And although she’s gone on record in the past about how much she wants bigger breasts, if you try and actually give Keira Knightley bigger breasts she’ll throw a little tiny tantrum about it.
That’s something the studio behind Keira Knightley’s new film The Duchess is starting to discover. The Duchess is about Georgiana Cavendish, the 18th century Duchess of Devonshire – a woman famous for being a bit posh and… look, it doesn’t matter. You’re not going to see The Duchess. Nobody is. It’ll come out, nobody will watch it, Keira Knightley will get nominated for an Oscar for it, nobody will watch it and that’s that.
However, the studio behind The Duchess apparently does want people to go and see it, and its answer was to artificially pump up Keira Knightley’s boobs on the movie poster. It’s simple psychology – increase the size of Keira Knightley’s tits on the poster and men will pay to see the movie, subconsciously believing it to be a porno. It’s true – we only went to see Driving Miss Daisy because of Jessica Tandy‘s rocking cleavage on the poster.
But Keira Knightley isn’t having any of it. According to reports, she’s demanded that her boobs stay the same size on posters for The Duchess. Marie Clare reports:
Film studios bosses apparently wanted to enlarge Knightley’s assets in the photos so she appears more buxom in her low-cut period costumes, but the actress has put her foot down and said no. One insider revealed: ‘She has insisted that her figure stay in its natural state. She is proud of her body and doesn’t want it altered.’
Good! In these image-driven times it’s refreshing to see a young lady such as Keira Knightley take control of her identity, to stand up to the ruling patriarchy and firmly assert that she is spirited, independent and proud of her own body. Well done Keira Knightley.
We’re still not going to see your film, though. Seriously, it’s looks fucking dreadful. And your tits look rubbish in it, too.
markie says
Keira Knightley is starting to a little too much like a tranny for me… that heavy jaw, the five-o-clock shadow… the giant pair of testicles dangling from under her skirt….