This might be news to some of you, but Tiger Woods slept with some women once. It’s a bit of a secret, though.
What’s that? It’s not a secret at all? In fact news of Tiger Woods’s various sexual escapades have been so relentlessly ubiquitous for the last five months that you could question a three-year-old baby about it and he’d shout “I WISH I HAD THE ABILITY TO MAKE YOU SORE!” at the top of his voice and then high-five all his friends? Oh.
In that case, someone should really inform Joslyn James. She’s determined to remind the world that Tiger Woods once had sex with her, to the extent that she even gave an official rebuttal after his Masters press conference yesterday. She’s vowed to keep going until Tiger Woods offers her a sincere apology. Or until she gets a reality show. One or the other.
Tiger Woods returns to golf this week, for the first time since his compulsive infidelities were exposed. And anticipation literally couldn’t be higher. Will the pressure get to him? Will he flinch at the sight of a golf club, since the last time he saw one it was being swung at his head by his furious wife? Will he drive the golf cart from hole to hole, or will he crash it into a tree again? Will he even be able to look at a hole without pulling his pants down and trying to hump it, or will he simply send it a text message about all the obscene things he wants to do to it instead? Right now, we just don’t know.
But before any of that can happen, we’ll have to deal with Joslyn James again. While the majority of other alleged Tiger Woods mistresses have become TV presenters or simply gone back to being either radioactive-looking cocktail hostesses or the star of a porn film called OMG Stop Tickling Me, Joslyn James has refused to give up the ghost.
First she claimed that Tiger Woods got her pregnant, then she published all of his sex texts on the internet and yesterday she held a press conference about Tiger Woods because… well, to be honest that’s less clear. But here’s the New York Daily News with details anyway:
“He’s still a big, fat liar,” she said after Tiger claimed he had gained perspective after the birth of his children. She said she and Woods hooked up 10 days after his daughter was born. James isn’t looking for cash, but “an honest apology,” she told me. “My relationship with Tiger was never about money… In 12-step rehab for any addiction, you’re supposed to make amends to the people you’ve hurt,” James said.
What’s more, Joslyn James still won’t stop – this week she’s deliberately going to the same town where Tiger Woods is playing golf, at the same time that Tiger Woods is playing golf, to work at a strip club. Will Tiger visit her? Will they exchange more texts? Will people become so utterly bored by anything that Joslyn James says or does from now on that they’ll start using her name as a trigger to club themselves around the head just to make it stop?
Probably the last one, actually, yes.
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B Smith says
Okay Joslyn James….shut the hell up alrady. You haven’t been credible since you hugged Gloria Allred (gag) and you are just a skanky ho…Tiger must have had way too many drinks to sleep with your skinny ass.
Go back to your San Fernando Valley porn studio and screw a midget or something…we are tired of you and your ugly mug!
CLB says
What a disgrace!!! Tiger only owns an apology to his loyal, decent wife and two innocent children! All these women, that became involved with Tiger Woods, like Jostlyn, knew that he was a married man and that he was never, ever going to leave his decent wife for any of them. He used these w.h.o.r.e.s. just for dirty sex and paid then for services rendered. They choose to continue their involvement, so why are they complaining now and about what? They are just paying for their stupidity and bad choice. I will tell them to take a hike and get lost! They need to move on and accept that it is all over!!!!!!!!!!!!!