Going to a party alone can be hard sometimes – especially if it’s your party and everyone is desperate for you to fail.
So Jennifer Aniston wasn’t taking any chances when it came to her Marley And Me premiere recently. Although she’s going out with a boy who looks like her nephew, Jennifer Aniston wanted to make damn sure that she wouldn’t go to her premiere alone.
That’s why Jennifer Aniston reportedly got her agents to find some famous actors who’d act as her standby boyfriend if John Mayer dropped out. And, to be fair, they’d all probably be more convincing than John Mayer.
This is a tough month for Jennifer Aniston. Not only is she breaking her back to promote a movie that’s basically Beethoven with all the rough edges smoothed off, but she knows that her movie opens on the same day as The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, the film by her ex-husband Brad Pitt.
To make it harder, Brad’s film is being spoken of as a serious Oscar contender, while Aniston’s film is about a funny dog who poos everywhere. And, to make it harder still, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are currently locked into a kind of high-stakes death-spiral battle for publicity. If Brad Pitt talks about his kids, then Jennifer Aniston has to pretend she wants kids. If Brad Pitt talks about Angelina Jolie, then Jennifer Aniston has to whap her boobies out in a magazine. It’s endless.
But at least Jennifer Aniston got a moment of respite at the Marley And Me premiere recently, where she could totally be herself without even having to think about Brad Pitt. Unless, of course, her on/off boyfriend John Mayer split up with her beforehand, in which Jennifer Aniston planned to hyperventilate on the red carpet, hunch into the foetal position and whimper “Oh God no, oh God no, I’m so alone, I’m so very alone” in front of the world’s media.
Or, as a rumoured Plan B, Jennifer Aniston would just get her agents to set up a hokey relationship with whichever unfortunate Hollywood actor happened to nearest at any given moment in time. The LA Times reports:
According to the New York Post, during their split, Aniston?s camp was shopping for a potential date because poor Jen ?did not want to be single when her movie opened… A friend of her agent was calling around asking for young men whom they could set her up with,” a source told the N.Y. Post. But the attempt to find a replacement for Mayer failed and — as if by magic — Mayer and Aniston got back together.
Now, OK, yes, if that’s true it does sound toe-curlingly embarrassing for Jennifer Aniston – but it happens all the time in Hollywood. Even Brad Pitt does it. Admittedly instead of getting a friend or his agent to ring round a bunch of actresses and plead with them to pretend to be his girlfriend for one night, Brad Pitt just found a stable partner to mother his children and share his life with. But, you know, it’s close enough.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter how true this rumour is, because Jennifer Aniston will see this story as a victory anyway. It’s accomplished her two prime directives in life – firstly it’s got her name in print again, and secondly it draws attention away from the fact that she’s made a rubbishy-looking film about a dog. Congratulations, Jennifer!
Matt says
Jen is a very desperate and pathetic women. John is desperate for taking her up on that offer. He love media attention that bad. Two clowns.