James Brown may have been the hardest working man in showbusiness, the most influential man in pop music and a minor star of Rocky IV, but it also seems as if James Brown might have been something else in his lifetime – a bit of a swordsman.
It's been over two months since James Brown passed away, and yet his lifeless corpse has seen more legal trouble than an army of zombie Anna Nicole Smiths. Just days after it was announced that he was all set to be buried, James Brown's carcass has been at the centre of a huge DNA row – apparently all kinds of people are coming forward saying that James Brown knocked them up and they want to get their hands on some dead soul-brother inheritance. Happily, James Brown's DNA dispute has been fixed, and now he really is ready to be buried. Unless something else happens in the meantime. And, let's face it, it will.
Even during his childhood cathouse-dwelling years James Brown always had a good understanding of women. He knew that if he danced like the devil, screamed like a locomotive and frequently asked people to take him to the nearest bridge, women would fall at their feet to be with them. And if that didn't get them then the domestic violence usually did.
And now, two months after he died and didn't get buried, women are apparently still coming forward to claim that James Brown fathered their children. It's got so bad that lawyers for James Brown's trustees have decided that someone needs to open James Brown's solid gold casket and plug him for DNA. This, however, caused a problem since Tomi Rae Hynie – the woman that married James Brown when she was still married to someone else and then had his baby before James Brown managed to get either of them into his will – didn't like the DNA-obtaining methods that the lawyers suggested.
And all this when James Brown was supposed to be cleared for burial, too. However, the New York Post reveals that James Brown's DNA dispute has now been sorted out:
Lawyers for Brown's trustees wanted DNA samples to help sort out several paternity claims made against Brown since his death two months ago… Both sides reached an agreement on how to collect the samples, [lawyer Robert] Rosen said yesterday. "No one objected to that, because if and when a court orders a DNA test, it just makes sense to have a sample and not have to take him out of his grave," Rosen said… Hynie says she is the singer's fourth wife and has a child with him. She says she wants a paternity test to prove it. Attorneys for the singer have said Brown and Hynie weren't legally married because she was married to another man when they said their vows.
DNA tests seem to be all the go at the moment, don't they? Between James Brown, Anna Nicole Smith, Eddie Murphy and our lord Jesus Christ, it seems like everyone who's anyone wants a piece of the DNA test action. And we can't be the only ones who want to mix up a big bowl of DNA cribbed from Anna Nicole, Eddie, James and Jesus and germinate our very own super baby with it, can we? Imagine the possibilities – our DNA super baby would have gigantic boobs, dance moves to die for and it could heal the sick. On the downside the inclusion of Eddie Murphy's DNA would mean it'd strop out of awards ceremonies every six or seven seconds, but you can't have everything we guess.
Read more:
James Brown Kin Reach Deal For Daddy DNA Test – New York Post
Ro-Ler says
Put him in the damn ground already!