As a mother of 14 constantly-pooing children, Nadya Suleman should have a lot on her hands right now.
Like, you know, looking after them. Or, at a push, being so cripplingly calcium-depleted that her entire skeleton would probably disintegrate in on itself the moment she starts to lactate. But no, because Nadya Suleman has found the one TV she hasn’t yet appeared on – Dr Phil – and appeared on it.
And on Dr Phil Nadya Suleman claimed that she was being irrational when she decided to have those last eight kids. She’s irrational? Quick, someone pass her that porn contract!
Nadya Suleman is a kind of international sweetheart at the moment, albeit one who everyone seems to hate. She’s like a version of Princess Di who’s been through a horrifying genetic procedure that’s allowed her to have disturbing shrunken versions of Jackie O, Mother Teresa, Dame Vera Lynn, Gok Wan, Ben Fogle, Michelle Obama, Simon Cowell and Wellard The EastEnders Dog implanted into her abdomen. That’s how much of an international sweetheart Nadya Suleman is.
And that’s why everyone wants a piece of her. TV producers, porno producers, magazine editors – in fact, almost everyone who doesn’t have to deal with her on a day-to-day basis wants a piece of Nadya Suleman.
This won’t last forever, of course – once Nadya Suleman has sold her birthing tape for millions of dollars and the world can see for itself that having eight babies at once is a bit like the big bang, a bit like heating popcorn in an uncovered pan and a bit like an elaborate bloodsoaked firework display where all the fireworks are made of human umbilical cords that climaxes with a poo, she’ll back away into the distance again.
But that hasn’t happened yet, which is why Nadya Suleman has appeared on Dr Phil to give her most shocking revelation of all – in retrospect, she thinks that having eight babies at once was a little bit stupid. Suleman said:
“At the time, I was just justifying my actions based on saying, ‘Well, these are my children, they are extremely valuable – their lives,’ which is true, but I was not placing that above my others. But my heart was in it. Not my head. I wasn’t thinking rationally. In retrospect, would I have done that again? I don’t know. It wasn’t a realistic thing to do. It was irrational at the time, looking back.”
Now that’s all well and good, but it’s too late for Nadya Suleman to start having regrets about it now. After all, the kids are almost six weeks old, so she’ll have real difficulty if she wants to shove them all back up there again and pretend it never happened.
And also, it’s now on record that Nadya Suleman doesn’t think that having those kids was a good idea. That’s hardly going to make them feel great about themselves, is it? She should be careful about offending the babies like that – word has it that they can lock together like Voltron and form one giant baby that can has the ability to crush anything that displeases it.
Just a thought.
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Soulfulsparrow says
To anyone who thinks THIS woman deserves ANY sympathy or recognition for doing a good thing needs to have THEIR heads examined. Missy&Heidi: John and Kate are a couple who have their life together. They work. They deserve those kids. This piece of garbage Nadya…….please!!!! Nobody who is jobless and pretty much homeless (yeah, she lives with her parents, no home of her OWN) needs to have all those kids. So now, hard working tax payers, such as myself pay for her and her children. How fair is that? I am tired of paying for selfish people who want to have kids and no jobs. What about the single mother who works 2 or 3 jobs, trying to provide a decent life for her family and cannot recieve assistance because of trash like this Joker. And the doctors who continually allowed this woman to become pregnant……… licensed revoked!!! Please!. Truly worthless human beings.
Gilbert Wham says
Sometimes, mainly when I hear the phrase ‘hard-working taxpayer’, I would like to be able to bear children. Because I would quit my job, have as many as possible, move in next to you, and encourage them to play violent, noisy games on your lawn. Nadya whoojamacallit be damned, I just don’t like your tone. Also, you misuse ellipses in your sentences, which means you should already have been set on fire. Why aren’t you already on fire? Eh? Eh?
Jennifer says
nadya Suleman is not crazy…….. She’s been riding tax payor in the past and present. This time she is going for millions and not the hundreds of thousands she already milked from us with fake lower back disability. Why I know? Nadya is too much into fame and forgot to fake any of her lower back pain in any videos or while she is in front of media crews. As all women with lower back pain would know, You cannot keep having babies. pregnancies makes it get worst and worst, but not Nayda. Look at one of her online video. She is able to hold two of her kids. ONe in each arm jumping up and down numerous times. Each kid must weight at least 28+ each. Fraud, fraud, fraud.
Don’t let her ride any of us. Those are your hard earn money. Nadya does not have much of a work history. How dare Nadya expected the public to support her and her 14 kids. If she cannot afford them, she must give them up for adoption. Nadya only wants those octulets because without them, the lime light will be turn off. Look at what she did on tuesday. She notify the media of this and caused this circus to happen. Nadya wasn’t scare. She crave attention and more media attention. Why you think she got tons of cosmestic surgeries done????? She wasn’t attention. Her old face didn’t make the cut. In my opinion, she looked better before all those plastic surgery. Now, she looks more like Michael jackson and MOna Lisa combined into one…….
If you want to be con by this scam artist second to Bernie Maddoff, be my guest. I rather donate to a legitimate charity.
emily says
I think she just seen an oppertunity to become famous and took it no matter what the risk definately wanted 2 become rich n famous definately faking the back