We really applaud celebrities who get involved in important causes.
Like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt who have given orphaned babies of the world solace in the fact that they have an 89% chance of being adopted by the couple. Then there’s Ellen DeGeneres who you can call if you adopt a pet and then give it away and then it’s taken away, and she’ll blubber uncontrollably about it on national TV for you.
But all of these noble acts are absolute rubbish compared to the good will of Puff Daddy P Diddy Sean Puffy Sean “Diddy” Combs, or whatever the freak his name is this week. That’s right – Diddy says he is out to “convert a lot of people”. Convert them to what, you ask? Religion? Educating impoverished nations? Awareness of domestic abuse?
No, it’s vodka. Diddy is out to convert the world to vodka. Thank you, Diddy. It’s about time someone stood up for vodka, if you ask us.
Sean “Diddy” Combs likes to keep busy. If he’s not getting sued for punching a guy, chatting up a drunken Sharon Stone or spawning two babies at once, then you’re sure to find him signing endorsement deals for $100 million with liquor companies to promote their vodka. Well, maybe just one liquor company known as Diageo PLC, and their line of Ciroc vodka. Diddy plans to focus a lot of time into promoting Ciroc vodka, which will sadly take away from making perfumes and designing man crop pants. Hey, didn’t this guy make some music once, or something? Seems vaguely familiar…
Anyway, Diddy insists that this is more than an endorsement, and that Ciroc vodka will help "movers and shakers" find that level of superiority they’ve been searching for so desperately. So, basically, Diddy’s target demographics are fat guys who wear back support belts and lift furniture into large trucks, and people with Parkinson’s disease. Regardless, here’s what Diddy had to say about said movers and shakers:
"They're looking for something that tastes like their lifestyle… It's that trendsetter, that hipster, someone who's looking for luxury and looking for something better…I think we can convert a lot of people."
We’ve never been much for vodka, or any type of alcohol for that matter. In fact, the slightest scent of cooking sherry sends us into cross-eyed fits which cause us to hump any leg we come across like an un-neutered puppy. However, if what Diddy says is true, then we won’t be able to resist the liquid luxury of Ciroc vodka.
We’re ready to believe, Diddy. Go ahead and bring on the conversion to medicinal marijuana while you’re at it, too.
Read more:
Christopher says
He should convert himself to a broke pimp with an unplugged mic. He’s a meathead.