No, us neither. Not at all. In fact, sometimes entire calendar months pass when we don't even think of Denise Richards, let alone wonder what it'd be like to actually be her. We've got plenty more important things to wonder about than that.
But tough shit, because Denise Richards has formally announced that she's making a reality TV show about herself with the express intention of showing everyone what it's like to be Denise Richards. The show won't be broadcast until the summer, but we can already guess what it's like to be Denise Richards – pretty much like being any other idiot, but with better tits.
It takes a special person to go through a lengthy, petty divorce with Charlie Sheen – a divorce that produced evidence of Charlie calling you both a 'nigger' and a 'sad jobless pig' – and still come out the other side looking like the lunatic of the marriage, but that's Denise Richards.
While divorcing Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards claimed he murdered a prostitute and claimed he was more or less a full-blown paedophile. That's heavy stuff. But, then again, Denise apparently asked Charlie for more babies after the divorce and then threw a laptop onto an old lady's head, which sort of helps balance the crazy out a little bit.
And now E! viewers are going to be able to see exactly how crazy Denise Richards is, because she's just confirmed that she's getting her own reality TV show. It's the show that Charlie Sheen tried to block, and although it's about Denise Richards, it definitely won't be a show about her divorce. No way. Denise Richards hardly even mentions the divorce any more and she's not bitter about anything, actually. E! Online reports:
The court-approved series will follow the famous mother as she transitions back into life as a single parent and attempts to distance herself from her acrimonious, headline-grabbing divorce from Sheen… "I think there's been so many negative things about me in the press, most of it not true. I've kept quiet about many, many things, and I find the public believes what they hear. And if they're only hearing one side, that's what they're going to believe. So, it's time for people to see what I'm really like."
We're just trying to work out what things Denise Richards has kept quiet about, because we were under the impression that she never shuts up about anything ever. And doesn't that line "it's time for people to see what I'm really like," strike the fear of God into you hearts? That's the sort of thing that the terminally self-unaware say when they've got a very clear idea of how they want to be seen. Leo Sayer had one before he went on Celebrity Big Brother last year, and look how that ended.
And even if it turns out that Denise Richards is a rational, normal human being who's behaves with the utmost dignity all day, she's been in the entertainment industry to know that her reality TV show will be a stitch-up that cobbles together her worst moments to make her look like a total nutter.
At least it had better be a stitch-up. Otherwise we're not watching.