If we were Chris Brown, we’d have locked ourselves in a dark room far away from everyone long, long ago.
That’s because we’d be embarrassed by our stupid teeth. Oh, and also because we’d be under the spotlight for allegedly beating Rihanna to a pulp, so anything we did in public would look like the worst kind of insensitive gloating.
Perhaps someone should tell Chris Brown, – he’s been photographed playing basketball with a group of college girls. Worse – he did it with a funny look on his face. Unless it was just his normal face. Chris Brown’s face is weird.
The aftermath of a domestic assault – alleged or otherwise – can have profound effects on both parties. The abused woman will feel ashamed, humiliated, unable to trust, plus she’ll start to feel all kinds of inappropriate feelings for rubbishy reality TV also-rans, which is sort of icky to think about.
But it’s just as bad for the man accused of domestic violence, who will not only be vilified by the public, but will also have to embark on an epic voyage on introspection to discover the root of his aggressive hatred towards women. Unless, of course, he’s Chris Brown. Because if he’s Chris Brown he’ll immediately run away to record a funky album, merrily lark about on a jetski without a care in the world and then go and play basketball with a bunch of teenage girls in teeny little vests.
That’s right – Chris Brown has been photographed posing with the entire female basketball team from Virginia’s University of Mary Washington. And you know what? He didn’t even choke one of them unconscious! HE’S SAVED! Allegedly! MTV reports:
In the photo, Brown is surrounded by smiling team members while he poses with his arms crossed and his head tilted back. The site also has a video of Brown… [that] seems to have been shot by two students at the school, who describe seeing the celeb at the school as “bizarre.” When one girl asked the other what she thinks of him being there, her response is, “He’s really skinny.”
We can’t decide how we feel about Chris Brown playing basketball with a gang of female university students like this. On one hand, as Usher pointed out a few weeks ago, it’d be nice if Chris Brown could show a little bit of remorse in public. Then again, the female basketball team should be pretty safe from his advances – after all, they are only teenagers so they’d probably only be desirable to Chris Brown if they somehow managed to combine all their ages to become one ridiculously old woman.
And besides, if Chris Brown does end up going to jail, then shouldn’t he be allowed just one game of basketball that doesn’t end with him being brutally raped up the bum by a gang of seven-foot murderers? Shouldn’t he?
What’s that? You stopped caring about Chris Brown and Rihanna about 30 seconds after you first heard the news about them two months ago? Oh, fair enough.
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dominique says
dat shit dat yall just said aint rite all dat wasnt call for so i think yall need 2 take dat off….chris may had messed up he’s not perfect no one is so chilled out with all dat tlking about him
XXLOVECbxx says
fuck whoever wrote this assholes I Love chris brown and beacuse of this annoying rude article i’m going out to get a Chris Brown cd even though I have 4 already….chris is gorgous and so you know he was playing it in his HOMETOWN! he was minding his own business its not his fault every1 is obsessed with him! loser……he’s ALOT better looking then whoever wrote this anyway that I can guarentee
STFU says
You are a fucking idiot! If you were Chris would you really lock yourself in a room? Is that what you do when you get sick of looking at your stupid pathetic ass? I never stops amazing me how people are so judgemental about his crime being “violent” then in the next breath wish this boy is raped in jail. What kind of sick, twisted, homoerotic are you?
Why dont you write up on your beloved white celebrities that beat the shit out of their wives? Like Jack Nickelson,Cristian Slater,Sean Penn,and Josh Brolin the list goes on and on. So get the fuck off it and stop being a fake ass lazy journalist taking cheap shots at a 19 year old….get a fuckin life!
snoopy1 says
This is the most immature article I have ever read. Just another example of the media trying to destroy the spirits of entertainers.
The public is smarter than this.
Sean Mac says
Please tell me the above comments are a joke! pleeeease!!!
We`re all fuckin DOOOOMED!!!!!!!
Julian Mentat says
So, what happens if you punch your girlfriend in the face?
[1] Lots of women come to your defence in forums (hey, you can pick and choose your next girlfriend).
[2] A rich person gives you the use of a mansion.
[3] Teenage female athletes don’t lynch you on sight, even though you have probably raised the odds that they will be punched some day.
The children of America are learning from all this.
Ellen_Rimbauer1998 says
why do you fucking love chris brown he is a slut