We've all been there – you've lived in a house for a while, and you feel like redecorating. Except where do you put your old outfits and the prosthetic disabled head that Eric Stoltz wore in the 1985 film Mask?
This is the exact problem that Cher faced recently. Now that she's more or less stopped making music – and the Will & Grace cameo paychecks have started to dry up – Cher decided to auction off all the clutter that stopped her being able to redecorate her house in the effortlessly tasteful way that only an old woman who once sat on top of a cannon while wearing the world's most pornographic spider's web can envisage. And now that Cher's auction is over and done with, it's been revealed that Cher earnt more than double the pre-sale estimates for her auctioned items. There's a message here, and it's that you should never rule out the power of the stereotypically homosexual dollar. Or the dollar belonging to cackling groups of bitter middle-aged divorced women who hate men.
It's turning into sodding auction day today, isn't it? First we hear about all the tat being flogged off at the Star Trek auction and now we get to hear about how much money Cher made by auctioning off all the old shit that was laying around her house. Of course, auctions of musicians' stuff aren't uncommon, but usually the musical has to be dead like John Lennon for their stuff ever earn a decent amount of money. Cher, though, has proved the exception to the rule, possibly because she looks like she's been prematurely embalmed.
When Cher announced that she would auction off her stuff, a presale estimate was placed at around $1.4 million – $1.6 million but, following the end of the auction on Wednesday, it was revealed that all of Cher's old stuff actually netted the singer $3.5 million, as Reuters reports:
The top selling costume was a Bob Mackie-designed rock'n'roll outfit that was sold for $60,000, up to 20 times its estimate of $2,000 to $3,000. The buyer was Brigitte Poublon, wife of U.S. singer and actor Bobby Sherman, who once appeared with Cher on the "Sonny and Cher" show. The single most expensive lot was for 60-year-old Cher's black 2005 Bentley, which fetched $204,000, while the "Gothic Revival" brass bed from her Malibu residence earned $84,000. "Today every single lot found a buyer, a true testament to Cher's fan base and longevity as a performer and star," said Darren Julien, president of Julien's Auctions which held the auction with Sotheby's.
At least now Cher has a bit more money floating round; not that she needed it, of course – following Cher's official retirement it was revealed that her farewell tour made the second-biggest amount of money for a female tour ever – but now Cher can finally fulfil her dream of decorating her house in the horrific-sounding Moroccan/Tibetan style she's always wanted.
While Cher's happy, though, we can't help feeling that – on Christmas day – one man will be given Cher's auctioned 500-year-old Jesus for Christmas for no other reason than because he's gay and his well-meaning Mum saw an episode of Will & Grace once where the gay one did a funny impression of Cher and some people laughed.
Read more:
Cher auction fetches double pre-sale estimates – Reuters
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Marco says
Dude…you sound bitter. If Cher wants to sell her shit and donate 1/2 of it to charity then god bless. And face it , you’d fuck her