Being a Star Trek fan is hobby fraught with danger; if members of your own family aren't persecuting you for being a friendless spod, then other Star Trek fans openly ridicule you for thinking that the Cardassians could beat the Tholians in a fight.
But sometimes, all the various threads of Star Trek fan can gather together as one. Next Generation fans can mingle with Voyager fans and Star Trek III: The Search For Spock fans can mingle with Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country fans, all without fear of overheated discussions about whether or not Star Trek: The Animated Series should be included in the official Star Trek canon turning into gruesome blood-soaked battles. One such occurrence of peaceful Star Trek fan-gathering happened yesterday, when Christie's started its three-day auction of official Star Trek memorabilia, allowing absolutely anyone to own some cheap wobbly tat that was on telly once.
Anyone wanting the ultimate slice of Star Trek memorabilia is sadly doomed to failure, because someone has already bought the kidney stone that William Shatner pissed out in January. But, hey, things like that are rare on purpose – if everyone took hunks of mineral that have been pushed along the inside of Captain Kirk's penis and embedded them as the centrepiece of an aluminium crown they specially made, then what's the point of even owning one in the first place?
So for everyone else, there's the Christie's Star Trek memorabilia auction that started yesterday, which attracted a lot of frenzied bidding. Star Trek fans put aside their differences about where they think Scotty was really born and how gay Sulu is to try and buy all kinds of official, authentic Star Trek crap. Back when the Star Trek auction was announced, there was lots of excitement about the fact that it was the first major studio-authorised auction of Star Trek items, but all that studied interest flew out the window yesterday as fans got to try and own a bunch of stuff that Uhura may have once rubbed her thighs across, as Forbes reports:
The bidding started quickly, with battles taking place on some of the early lots. Bids were accepted on the floor, on the phone and on the Internet. A captain's chair once belonging to Jean-Luc Picard from the bridge of the Starship Enterprise-E sold for a gavel price of $52,000 – far beyond the presale estimate of $9,000. The chair itself is covered with burgundy-dyed imitation leather, and features simulated control panels in the armrests – hardly high-end or high-tech. But the cheesiness factor didn't scare off devoted fans of the show, who filled the midtown Manhattan auction. "This is historic from the standpoint of science fiction," said Gary Sekulow of Atlanta, who purchased a pair of consoles from the fictional bridge of the fictional Starfleet. He nevertheless hailed the chance for fans to purchase something authentic, and said the consoles would become part of his home theatre.
Burgundy-dyed imitation leather – who'd have thought that someone with only $52,000 could afford something as classy at that? If anything, this Star Trek auction proves what a lasting monumental cultural impact Star Trek has had on modern society. The lessons that Star Trek taught us are still with us today – that man will one day be able to live peacefully on Earth as one, and that all aliens are sexy nymphos that will have sex with you if you rough them up a bit first. Thank you Star Trek.
Read more:
Stardate 2006: Star Trek Props Auctioned – Forbes
[story by Stuart Heritage]