So far this year, Britney Spears has mainly communicated in garbled British-accented gibberish or a series of distressing shrieks.
But, unless Britney Spears will play a massively unstable bint from Nottingham who looks like she might have a bit of a drinking problem in her upcoming How I Met Your Mother cameo, that'll have to change soon.
Which is why Britney has got there first. To help viewers with the unexpected shock of seeing Britney Spears on TV talking full sentences in a normal way, Britney's released a statement about her time on How I Met Your Mother. True, Britney Spears' statement is so unrelentingly generic that it could be about anything, and we're almost completely certain that she had absolutely nothing to do with it, but it's a start.
We're actually warming to the idea of Britney Spears appearing on How I Met Your Mother now. Like many people, we initially had our reservations about sending a mentally unwell megastar to clown around in public mere weeks since she'd been sectioned in a padded room, but now we can see the positives in it, too.
For example, Britney Spears has already been praised by her How I Met Your Mother co-stars – which will help boost her feelings of self worth – plus it's a couple of days off for those poor dancing children. What's more, if Britney Spears is going to make a fool out of herself in public, it may as well be on a sitcom that most sensible people usually do their best to avoid. It just makes sense.
And already the benefits are beginning to show, because Britney Spears has used her How I Met Your Mother cameo to communicate with her fans for the first time in months. No, we don't mean she smashed a car to pieces with an umbrella or wrote a rambling, sense-defying note about Jesus on her website. Britney Spears actually communicated with her fans in the traditional celebrity way – the generic publicist-written statement! E! Online reports:
Making her first public statement on just about anything in recent days, the Blackout artiste announced Thursday that her week of toiling as a guest star on CBS' How I Met Your Mother beats psych wards and courtrooms. "Working at How I Met Your Mother has been so terrific. Everyone, including the cast, the crew and the producers, has been wonderful, and Abby is such a fun girl to play. I'm having a blast!"
We've got her back, everyone! Britney's back! Yes, we know that this is just a bland statement and that she probably isn't even aware that's it's been created, let alone released – but if Britney Spears is capable of doing this, then what will come next? Handing out pre-printed autograph photos again? Covering her obvious disgust at meeting her fans with a smile? Underwear?
Welcome back, Britney. Welcome back.
BS has rightly sussed out that the only context
in which her bizarre behavior fits is on a crap sit-com.
From this humble beginning she could grow
personally and professionally to be the nutter regular
on somebody’s crap variety show.
People all around the world will laugh and applaud
her hi-jinx, asking themselves and one another,
“What will the Whore think of next?” as she smashes
a guest in the ear with her handbag or a can of Pringles.
After all, isn’t this how Benny Hill got his start?