If you want to look prettier than you actually are, the old saying goes, then go and stand next to a disfigured old gargoyle of a sweatpig hag. We're paraphrasing.
It's a saying that the producers of sitcom How I Met Your Mother know only too well. In a desperate attempt to look funnier than it actually is, How I Met Your Mother has signed up the most harrowing, ashen-faced, unquestionably tragic celebrity in the world right now for a cameo in an upcoming episode.
Yeah, it's Britney Spears. How did you guess?
We've long been under the impression that Britney Spears' father Jamie is a wise, wise man. As soon as Britney Spears tipped over from 'endearingly kooky' to 'disturbingly psychotic' Jamie was right there to keep Britney under control and only charged a couple of thousand dollars a week for the privilege.
But although Jamie Spears is our brand new hero, he might be losing his grip on Britney Spears just a little. She wants to start doing things again, you see. Actual things. In public. And that's a worry. You see, Britney Spears teaching kids to dance is good mainly because it happens behind closed doors and if the worst happens she'll only ruin the lives of 15 or so toddlers. But Britney Spears doesn't want to stop there.
No. Britney Spears is going to make a cameo on How I Met Your Mother, the middling twentysomething relationship-based American sitcom, where she could end up potentially ruining the lives of millions of hapless viewers. The Associated Press reports:
Spears will guest star in a March 24 episode of the cult series, CBS spokeswoman Kelli Raftery told The Associated Press on Tuesday. The pop star will portray a receptionist in a dermatologist's office named Abby who becomes "smitten" with Ted (Josh Radnor), Raftery said. Craig Thomas, the show's creator, told Usmagazine.com that Spears attended a table reading with the cast on Monday, and that her scenes will probably be filmed later this week. He said representatives for Spears approached the CBS about "Mother" because "she was looking for a small part on a funny show."
Dear God, no. By now you've probably formulated your own list of two or three hundred reasons why Britney Spears appearing on How I Met You Mother is the worst idea in history, and chances are that these are your main bulletpoints:
1) Last month Britney Spears was deemed clinically unable to feed or dress herself. That's hardly laugh-out-loud material.
2) Nobody's going to be watching Britney Spears for see how funny she is. They'll be watching to see how haggard and joyless her eyes are. Again, not exactly ha ha stuff.
3) Considering that Britney Spears has such infrequent visitation access to her own children at the moment, an appearance on a show called How I Met Your Mother shows such a staggering lack of self-awareness that we're just pleased there isn't a sitcom called How I'm A Perfectly Normal Person Who Never Smashes Up Cars With Umbrellas.
4) Did you see Britney Spears' cameo on Will & Grace? That was about as funny as coughing up blood, and she wasn't nearly as mental back then.
Still, though, at least Britney Spears' appearance will be able to clear up the mystery of how the main character met his future childrens' mother. SPOILER ALERT: it was when he sent her all those dildos.
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mst3kster says
It’s not all that gloom and doom, Stuart. People here in the U.S. don’t watch network TV, especially CBS.
Okay, some do but they’re known for having shit for brains.
anthony Sterago says
I really liked Britney in How I Met Your Mother!
She did a great job for the small part she had.
I’d watch the show anytime she on……..