We don’t know if we’ve mentioned it, but Angelina Jolie has a movie out – it doesn’t look very good, but keep that to yourself.
But, despite what you might think by the amount of time that she’s spent promoting the movie by hanging babies from her boobs on the cover of magazines, Angelina Jolie isn’t the only person involved in the making of that movie. It also happened to be directed by Clint Eastwood, whoever he is.
And in a shocking break, Angelina Jolie last night decided to do a little more promotion by paying tribute to Clint Eastwood at a Hollywood awards gala. In fact – and we’re not making this up – people were so shocked to see Angelina Jolie talking about someone that wasn’t her that there were audible gasps in the crowd. And some people fell over and vomited like in the opening titles to Quincy. Alright, we made that bit up.
It took a while, but now we’ve finally figured out why Angelina Jolie has been killing herself rotten trying to promote The Changeling with tattoos and breastfeeding and knives and marriage and any other vaguely controversial stunt that ambiently drifts into her mind.
We didn’t think that Angelina Jolie would bother with any of that because The Changeling is a Clint Eastwood film – that means nobody will go and see it but it’ll definitely win about 16 Oscars. But that might not be the case any more – because in December Clint Eastwood has another film coming out and it looks amazing and populist and, since it features what’s rumoured to be Clint Eastwood’s last ever acting role, it’ll be that movie that wins all the Oscars instead.
So, not wanting to end up in another movie that’s critically and commercially ignored like A Mighty Heart, Angelina Jolie has had to change strategy. Rather than just blathering on about herself all the time, she’s decided to attach herself to Clint Eastwood instead.
At a Hollywood Film Festival Awards Gala last night, Angelina Jolie made a surprise appearance to sing the praises of Clint Eastwood, as People reports:
The mother-of-six took time out of her busy schedule to present Eastwood – who helmed her most recent move, The Changeling – with the director of the year award. “There are some people in this business that are icons, and we often wonder if, when we meet them, they’ll live up to what we imagine them to be,” she told the audience. “And Clint Eastwood in person is even better.”
We mock, but only in jest – actually it’s touching that Angelina Jolie took time out of her schedule to pay tribute to a Hollywood icon like Clint Eastwood. Just think, in the time it took her to present him with the award, Angelina Jolie could have probably done four or five more interviews about her children, blurted out up to 12 new deliberately headline-grabbing controversial statements and made everyone just that little bit more sick of her.
Selfless, that’s what Angelina Jolie is.
Flank Tarmigan says
Clint eastwood will always be my hero because in the late 60s he walked into a london pub ate all the sausages and walked out again without paying!
TRUE!