If you had to describe Beyonce in a word, what would it be? Remember that 'big-thighed' doesn't count because it's technically two words.
We'd go with 'multi-talented'. Which, we know, is two words as well. We haven't thought this through. Anyway, Beyonce's staggering versatility has just been exercised again because, following her much-hyped turn in 1960s period musical Dreamgirls, Beyonce has decided to branch out and star in 1960s period musical Cadillac Records.
They're different, really they are. Mainly because Beyonce is a producer on Cadillac Records so she gets to make sure that nobody casts sodding Jennifer Hudson to steal all her thunder again.
We used to think that we were the only people in the whole world whose lives hadn't been turned into a biopic. That'll chance in the autumn when Hecklerspray: The Movie is released – starring Karl Howman from Brush Strokes as Lee Ryan and Michael Bay as himself – but in the last few years alone Ray Charles, Johnny Cash, Edith Piaf, Bod Dylan, Ian Curtis, Idi Amin and Jesus have all had their lives put on film.
There's obviously one giant name missing from that list, though – the woman who sung the song on the Diet Coke advert from 12 years ago, or Etta James as her mother called her. However, Beyonce is about to put rest to that by producing and starring in a film all about Etta James, as MTV reports:
The "Irreplaceable" singer will star as legendary blues singer Etta James in Darnell Martin's "Cadillac Records," according to The Hollywood Reporter. She will also serve as one of the movie's executive producers. "Cadillac Records" will follow the life of influential Chicago-based record-company executive Leonard Chess — who ran the legendary record company with his brother, Phil, through the 1950s and '60s — and the label's lineup of musical icons, including James, Muddy Waters (Jeffrey Wright), Willie Dixon (Cedric the Entertainer) and Little Walter (Columbus Short). Oscar winner Adrien Brody is scheduled to play Chess.
It's good to see that Beyonce's starting to learn her lessons after failing to win any major awards for Dreamgirls – especially since Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar and Beyonce didn't even get nominated. You see, Beyonce's mistake was to play a singer who was only heavily alluded to be a real person – if she plays an actual singer who really existed, she'll easily win an Oscar, because you always win an Oscar if you play a real singer.
And Etta James certainly has a life worth making a film about. She toured with Little Richard as a child, she developed a drug habit, she went a bit mad, she got massively overweight and she did songs for both Diet Coke and posh car adverts. Whereas you've probably only done two or three of those things, loser.
Nevertheless, it'll be interesting to see how Beyonce chooses to play Etta James. After all, a bit star like Beyonce will want to put a little bit of herself into the role. And if that's the case, we can't wait for the scene in Cadillac Records where Etta James smashes her face to pieces on some stairs and then offends an entire religion with her tits.
Read more:
Beyonce To Portray Legendary Blues Singer Etta James In 'Cadillac Records' – MTV
J says
Beyonce can’t act her way out of a brown paper bag. She is so desperate to prove that she is an actress. She really thought that during the whole Dreamgirls promotion that her popularity and pretty face would win her over with directors and she would rake in all of these awards for her acting. Boy did she get a wake up call. I thought she was done playing singers, oh wait, she had to grab something quick because Jennifer Hudson has already landed three major non-singing movie roles since her Oscar win last February. Anyway, I don’t see this movie getting a whole lot of buzz. Oh wait, Beyonce Knowles is starring in it. Matthew Knowles and his management company will pay millions to get this movie lots of promotion and marketing, just like anything else that has Beyonce’s name attached to it. She really needs to sit her over exposed butt down somewhere.
Van says
Beyonce Knowles is so overrated and acting is not her forte.
CptEvil says
Bey-once Know-les in another movie?
Well if her career goes the way of all the other singers-turned-actress we should expect her to marry a has-been pop star and have twins soon.
Can’t wait to see what she names them.
Candy Ass says
I’m sorry. I can’t even focus on the story because everytime I see her face I imagine her in bed with the skinniest thug alive. AI yai yai!