Valentine's Day does funny thing to people.
In a relationship? Valentine's Day will make you grumble about spending £1.70 on a card. Single? Valentine's Day will make you feel worthless and unloved. Bai Ling? Valentine's Day will make you steal magazines and batteries to the value of $16 from an airport store before you're caught and arrested.
Bai Ling – star of no good films ever – was arrested for shoplifting on Wednesday, and she blames it on splitting up with a boy right before Valentine's Day. Makes sense – sometimes the only things that can mend a broken heart are some celebrity magazines and batteries to the value of $16.
We've never really written about Bai Ling before, but that's because we weren't even sure if she qualifies as a celebrity. Yes, Bai Ling may have been in such cinematic masterpieces as Wild Wild West and Taxi 3 – which cinematically puts her up there with Dame Helen Mirren – but, well, we've just never really seen the point of her other than a funny a haircut and the slight idea that she looks a bit dirty.
And then Bai Ling went shoptlifting for some rubbish items and blamed it on a boy who made her sad. Welcome in, Bai, welcome in.
Apparently Bail Ling was due to fly from LA to Albuquerque for a film on Wednesday, but she was collared by a gift shop employee for trying to leave without paying for two celebrity magazines and two packets of batteries. True, it's not quite as decent airport entertainment as wetting yourself or vomiting champagne all over the place, but it's a start.
However, we shouldn't look upon Bai Ling's arrest as a bad thing, because we have much to take from it. Firstly, she looks on the verge of tears in her mugshot, which is a refreshing departure from arrested celebrities looking all adorable, and secondly, Bai Ling has the universe's best excuse for the arrest, as E! Online reports:
The 37-year-old actress and scenester exclusively tells E! News that she split with her new boyfriend Wednesday before she was scheduled to fly from LAX to New Mexico to begin shooting a film, turning it into an "emotionally crazy" day for her. She was dealing with the "huge problem of breaking up [before] Valentine's Day" when she was arrested for shoplifting, Ling said, adding, simply, "Wrong boyfriend."
It's actually quite sad, really, and we wish our emotionally-detached hearts were more like Bai Ling's, and that the visceral pain of a break-up could only be soothed by wandering into a gift store and trying to hamfistedly nick a bunch of stuff. So, yes, Bai Ling has our pity.
Enough pity to make us watch one of her films? No. We're not fucking mental.
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Womenlikeyouarecunts says
I guess that trash media like you never watched Anna and the King, Red Corfner or dumplings, perhaps Beutiful Country?
Typical of a lousy pile of trash like your site to leave those out.
Phsyt says
she looks really hot in Dumplings
Stabby McGee says
Shaolin Soccer – nuff said.