Now that Amy Winehouse has been cleared of perverting the course of justice, it means she's able to let loose a little bit.
And unlike you, Amy Winehouse's definition of 'letting loose' doesn't involve a comfortable pair of pyjamas and a DVD box-set of Midsomer Murders. No. For Amy Winehouse to let loose she needs to gulp down however much champagne it takes for her to blast jets of fizzy vomit by the gallon around the Club Class lounge of Gatwick Airport like some sort of unstoppable industrial firehose that stinks of guts.
Because that's pretty much exactly what she's been doing.
A great man – or an old man in a mediocre film, we forget which – once said "with great power comes great responsibility" and he was dead-on. And Amy Winehouse has more responsibility than most.
You see, Amy Winehouse was the biggest Trainwreck of 2007 according to you lot, and that means she'll have to work on her Trainwreckiness harder than ever if she wants to out-do her achievements from last year. And since Amy Winehouse managed to fill her 2007 with a drug overdose, failed stints in rehab, awful live shows, a midnight stumble around London in just her bra, a spaghetti-flinging incident and a razorblade fight with her husband who's currently in jail for beating up a man and then trying to pay him off, it means she'll have to be inventive if she wants to top her past achievements.
And that means Amy Winehouse needs to be a Trainwreck all the time, even in the most mundane of places like, for instance, the club class lounge at Gatwick airport. And Amy Winehouse needs to be inventive like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone, too, making use of whatever she can find to necessitate her Trainwreckish behaviour.
In other words, Amy Winehouse needs to abuse the offer of free champagne until she hurls pint after pint of hot sparkling barf all over the place until the carpet looks like some sort of smelly jacuzzi. And then if Amy Winehouse could burst into tears afterwards, that'd be grand.
Wait a minute, she's done what? Metro reports:
"Amy didn't waste any time getting stuck into the free booze. She wasn't looking well, but that didn't stop her guzzling the bubbly. She was sitting down, and just erupted vomit on the carpet… It wasn't a pretty sight. She was probably embarrassed as she immediately burst into tears and looked utterly distressed."
Now we know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Wait a minute hecklerspray, drunken behaviour in an airport? Isn't Amy Winehouse just ripping off David Hasselhoff? Shouldn't she be docked Trainwreck points for this?" And the answer is uncertain – we'll get a fuller picture of the extent to which Amy Winehouse is ripping off David Hasselhoff by waiting a few months to see if she's filmed failing to eat a burger from the floor topless.
If she is, we'll amend accordingly.
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Rebba says
Any of your lags notice that the Blonde Skinnyshell pics of Amy show her S-O-B-E-R ??? Amy is as focused, sane-looking as she was back in 2003. Way too thin, sure. She did go to Tyler’s party and ate food by the plate. If and when she fills out again, it’ll be Bombshell again. Great singer and songwriter, now S-O-B-E-R much more than not. Go Amy !!