Up until very recently, Transformers star and full-time adorable man-puppy Shia LaBeouf was in a whole lot of trouble for trespassing.
Shia LaBeouf was arrested in a Chicago branch of Walgreens last month for appearing drunk and not leaving when a security guard asked him to – but all that trouble is far behind him now. Less than one minute after his hearing started earlier today, Shia LaBeouf quickly found out that Walgreens had written the court a letter wanting to drop the charges against him. Nobody knows what cause Walgreen's sudden change of heart, but it's thought that the key phrase from the letter was "Oh, how could I ever stay mad at an adorable face like yours? Ubba dubba dubba. Ubba dubba dubba. Ubba dubba dubba dubba dubba."
There's no doubting that Shia LaBeouf's face is his fortune. Made of marshmallows and kitten fluff and the innocent daydreams of children, Shia LaBeouf's face has got him out of all kinds of trouble in the past. For instance, blabbing the title of the new Indiana Jones movie could have been a sackable offence, but it took just three seconds of Shia making his eyes all big and sad and adorable for Steven Spielberg to forgive him of everything, grab him by the cheeks and go "Ubba dubba dubba" at him for upwards of 90 minutes.
And now Shia LaBeouf's inherent adorability has even beaten the law. Last month, you'll remember that Shia LaBeouf was arrested in a Chicago branch of Walgreens because he appeared to be drunk and refused to listen to the security guard's requests to leave. Hit with a misdemeanour trespassing charge, Shia politely posted bail and was released, pending a following hearing.
That hearing's just happened in a Chicago courtroom, and Shia LaBeouf has got off scot free. Not that he wasn't prepared to fight, you understand – Shia LaBeouf apparently turned up to court with two of Chicago's most expensive lawyers – but he just didn't have to.
Less than a minute into the hearing, the judge revealed that he'd received a letter from Walgreens stating that it no longer wanted to pursue the case against Shia LaBeouf and that all charges had been dropped. The judge then added that he could have informed everyone of this by the phone, but he just wanted to see if Shia was as adorable in the flesh as everyone says. Bringing his gavel down with a crack, the judge ruled that Shia LaBeouf was indeed highly adorable, then leapt over his podium, grabbed Shia by the face and went "Ubba dubba dubba dubba dubba" at him. For all we know they're both still there now.
So Shia LaBeouf is off the hook for now. The test for him now will be to see how many more terrible crimes he can commit with his adorable little face. Oh, who are we kidding? Shia LaBeouf could poison our local water supply and burn down our hospitals and we'd still forgive him. With that face? Ubba dubba dubba.
Read more:
Trespassing charge against Shia LaBeouf dropped – Chicago Tribune
MySpace Text says
ohhhhhhhh! he really looks so handsome, so absorbing…but i hope he’ll avoid too much drinking alcohol to avoid worse consequences in the future.