Watch out Foxy Brown, there's a new angry young thing causing trouble on the streets, and he looks a lot like the annoying child sidekick from Constantine – OK, actually he is the annoying child sidekick from Constantine.
That's Shia LaBeouf from Transformers to you. Shia LaBeouf might just be the world's next big movie superstar in the making, but that isn't going to stop him from being a streetwalkin' menace to society, as his arrest early on Sunday morning has proved. It's been reported that Shia LaBeouf got himself arrested for trespassing after he, um, politely refused to leave a Chicago pharmacy a couple of times. Whatever next? The boy from Malcolm In The Middle getting busted for accidentally putting a green glass bottle in a brown glass recycling bin? Where will the madness end? Where?
Lots of people are calling Shia LaBeouf the next Tom Hanks, thanks to the touch of everyman he brings to all his roles. Were it not for Shia LaBeouf's herky-jerky acting in Transformers, for example, it wouldn't have been the muddled teen comedy about giant robots who talk slang, piddle on government officials and watch Shia LaBeouf have sex that we all know and love; it would have been an action thriller about massive angry robots relentlessly smashing each other to pieces in eye-searing explosive close-ups. And, you know, who'd want to see that?
But the thing that might stop Shia LaBeouf from becoming the new Tom Hanks – aside from an understandable unwillingness to grow his hair into an awful mullet and star in a film about Jesus having it off with Amelie – is his penchant for troublemaking. Up until now, Shia's most publicised act of defiance came when, after he got the biggest role of his life as Indiana Jones' sidekick in the fourth Indiana Jones movie, Shia LaBeouf jeopardised everything by blabbing the movie's secret title in front of the world at the MTV VMAs without Steven Spielberg's consent.
And if Shia LaBeouf getting in Spielberg's bad books isn't a big enough thing to worry about, now Shia LaBeouf has got in trouble with the law. And, even in a world of celebrity child-killing and alleged celebrity armed robbery, Shia LaBeouf's crime is so appallingly horrific that we can barely mention it. Shia LaBeouf was… Shia LaBeouf was arrested for trespassing because he didn't leave a pharmacy when he was asked to.
We know. The sick bastard.
According to reports, Shia LaBeouf was in a Chicago branch of the Walgreens pharmacy early on Sunday morning when a security guard – for some unknown reason – repeatedly asked him to leave. Shia apparently refused, police were called and Shia was arrested for trespassing.
But Shia LaBeouf didn't go down without a fight. Oh, wait, no, Shia LaBeouf didn't go down with a fight, as Chicago police spokesperson Joann Taylor told E! Online:
"Once they asked him to leave, he should've left, but at that point it was trespassing. But he was very polite and everything."
Shia LaBeouf was later released after he posted bail and is now scheduled to appear in court for a hearing on November 28. But that's hardly what matters here – what matters is that there's a new bad boy in town, and his name is Shia LaBeouf. This trespass arrest will act as a warning to Shia's many enemies that if they don't treat him respect, they'll be next. And, trust us, nobody wants to see Shia LaBeouf standing on their lawn at 2am politely refusing to leave several times. Life's just too precious for that.