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C J Davies

Watch ‘Watchmen’ Clips Online Now

by C J Davies

Comic book fans will no doubt be aware that seminal 1980s graphic novel Watchmen is making its way to the big screen.

What you might not know, however, is that director Zack Snyder commissioned an intriguing little competition for amateur film-makers to contribute to the upcoming feature. Entrants had to create a TV commercial set within the Watchmen universe – an alternative-history 1985 where superheroes have driven key world events.

Got some time to waste? Good. Then you can pop over to YouTube and have a look at some of the winning entries. They’re all frankly fantastic, with a particular favourite being the spot-on toy commercial.

Oh – and is this the geekiest post in hecklerspray history? Very possibly.

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Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?

by C J Davies

It’s difficult to imagine what sort of corporate environment Heather Mills would flourish within – Widely Despised Monoped GoldDiggers Inc, perhaps, or Beatle Fleecers LLC.

That hasn’t stopped suspiciously-haired zillionaire Donald Trump from namedropping Ms. Mills in relation to the new series of US show The Celebrity Apprentice, however. After the last batch of episodes featured such luminaries as Lennox Lewis, Piers Morgan, Gene Simmons and that bloke who was shot on a boat in The Sopranos, Trump has confirmed that several wannabes have been angling for a slot in the new run… and that the ex-Ms. McCartney was among them.

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Kerry Katona’s Mother: Officially Just As Hideous As Daughter

by C J Davies

Hecklerspray only recently learned that Kerry Katona was actually born – we simply thought she’d congealed, popping up Master-And-Margarita style on the outskirts of some grim Northern town, swathed in chip fat and possessing the piercing dead eyes of a truly soulless abomination.

Nah. Turns out that she has a mum.

Warning: if you’ve just eaten, you may want to avoid reading this report for a short while. On the other hand, if you’re bulimic – and need a horrific mental image to really spur on that gag reflex – please allow us to be of service. Ready? O-kay.

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Disturbing Friday Fun: The Quantum Sleeper

by C J Davies

You could die at literally any moment. Seriously – even by the time you finish reading this paragraph you could have contracted Ebola and shit your own face off, been struck by seven seperate bolts of lightening, been vapourised in a nuclear holocaust, been torn apart by rabid weasels or even set on fire by [...]

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Russell Brand To Write More Books; Idiots Everywhere Delighted

by C J Davies

There have been few more satisfying TV moments of late than when ‘comedian’ Russell Brand appeared on Have I Got News For You and attempted to impress the audience. His winning tactic? Erm … simply rambling about author Anthony Burgess in relation to his own bestseller My Booky-Wook and expecting the assembled onlookers to clap [...]

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Disturbing Friday Fun: Stupid Gameshow Answers

by C J Davies

We don’t really need to explain this one to you. Suffice to say: get ready for the esteem with which you may hold the human race to drop a notch. We don’t really need to explain this one to you. Suffice to say: get ready for the esteem with which you may hold the human [...]

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Badvertising: Anti-Drugs Commercial

by C J Davies

Sometimes adverts just totally miss the point. Take this little doozy for example: a woefully misguided anti-drugs PSA in which a talking dog decides to harrass a teenage girl about her drug use. So – what has she been doing? Snorting three lines of coke over breakfast every morning? Jacking up a speedball during SAT [...]

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CD Review: ‘The Opiates’, Thomas Feiner; Anywhen

by C J Davies

Talk about your long gestation periods – The Opiates, the third and final album from Swedish collective Anywhen, was originally recorded in 2001, and subject to an extremely limited release in February of that year.

So why are we mentioning it now? Well, The Opiates has aged sufficently enough to reach ‘lost classic’ status, and – following a rediscovery by ex-Japan mastermind David Sylvian – is all set for an updated and expanded re-release, courtesy of some reworking by vocalist Thomas Feiner.

Please. Stay where you are. We know the connotations that the term ‘lost classic’ has – you probably can’t help thinking of some scratchy Bob Dylan bootleg heralded as ‘the ultimate live experience’ or thirty-seven minutes of Syd Barrett farting that some wag has labelled ‘a transcendent psychedelic journey lost for several decades.’

Talk about your long gestation periods - The Opiates, the third and final album from Swedish collective Anywhen, was originally recorded in 2001, and subject to an extremely limited release in February of that year. So why are we mentioning it now? Well, The Opiates has aged sufficently enough to reach 'lost classic' status, and - following a rediscovery by ex-Japan mastermind David Sylvian - is all set for an updated and expanded re-release, courtesy of some reworking by vocalist Thomas Feiner. Please. Stay where you are. We know the connotations that the term 'lost classic' has - you probably can't help thinking of some scratchy Bob Dylan bootleg heralded as 'the ultimate live experience' or thirty-seven minutes of Syd Barrett farting that some wag has labelled 'a transcendent psychedelic journey lost for several decades.'
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Exclusive: What Was Lost In The Universal Studios Blaze

by C J Davies

Remember the courtyard square from the Back To The Future films? Sure you do. It was the courtyard. You know – the one shaped like a square. From the Back To The Future films.

Well, it looks like remembering it is all you’ll be able to do, as the courtyard square from the Back To The Future films is just one of the many movie milestones that has been eaten up by a blazing fire raging its way through Universal Studios,Los Angeles.

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Disturbing Friday Fun: Shipment Of Fail

by C J Davies

Is there any more gloriously simple concept than the ‘fail’?

It may well come to be the true defining buzzword of the Web 2.0 (or 3.0, or wherever the pissing Christ we are these days) generation. The notion is so pure and undistilled as to be genius: take a picture – either your own or sourced from elsewhere – of a human or animal plumbing the absolute depths of idiocy or loserdom, whack a big old ‘FAIL’ across the photo and share with the world. Done.

Just goes to prove: who says Oscar Wilde is the epitome of wit? Hecklerspray has read The Portrait Of Dorian Gray, and frankly there isn’t a single moment in there that made us snort out loud as much as anything on Shipment Of Fail – the interweb’s premier collection of timewasting laughability.

Got a few hours to waste? Here you go:

Shipment Of Fail

Is there any more gloriously simple concept than the 'fail'? It may well come to be the true defining buzzword of the Web 2.0 (or 3.0, or wherever the pissing Christ we are these days) generation. The notion is so pure and undistilled as to be genius: take a picture - either your own or sourced from elsewhere - of a human or animal plumbing the absolute depths of idiocy or loserdom, whack a big old 'FAIL' across the photo and share with the world. Done. Just goes to prove: who says Oscar Wilde is the epitome of wit? Hecklerspray has read The Portrait Of Dorian Gray, and frankly there isn't a single moment in there that made us snort out loud as much as anything on Shipment Of Fail - the interweb's premier collection of timewasting laughability. Got a few hours to waste? Here you go: Shipment Of Fail
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