Angelina Jolie's adopted Vietnamese son has been through enough name-changes over the last few months to ensure that the bulk of his adult life will be spent on a therapist's couch blathering about his identity, but Angelina Jolie isn't done yet.
When he was born, the heroin addict mother of the Vietnamese boy named him Pham Quang Sang. But that name wasn't nearly embarrassing enough for Angelina Jolie's liking, so when she adopted him she swiftly changed his name to Pax Thien Jolie. And now that Angelina Jolie's boyfriend Brad Pitt wants in on the action too, the nipper is now about to be called Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt. Obviously the boy hardly needs to memorise this new name, since in the next few months it'll probably be changed again, to Duke Zargletron Giffiffy Balloonoh Nakaka Of Luxembourg III or whatever.
Prepare the fanfare – the world's most beautiful family has got another member. Yes, technically we suppose that Pax Thien has been in Angelina Jolie's family for five weeks already, but up until now he was only known as Pax Thien Jolie – and since John Voight vaguely falls into the 'Jolie' category, it's hard for most people to take the 'beautiful' tag seriously.
But now there's no such thing as Pax Thien Jolie – Angelina Jolie has legally filed papers requesting that Pax Thien Jolie can take on Brad Pitt's name and become Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt, joining a whole host of other adopted Jolie-Pitts like Maddox Jolie-Pitt who was adopted from Cambodia, Zahara Jolie-Pitt who was adopted from Ethiopia and Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt who was adopted out of Angelina Jolie's vagina.
But why the name change now? Why didn't Angelina Jolie adopt Pax Thien as a Jolie-Pitt in the first place instead of heaping yet another name-change on top of the already-confused three-year-old? Well, it's all to do with ancient Vietnamese laws, which always preferred it when Brad Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston or something. Reuters reports:
Actress Angelina Jolie has filed court papers to add boyfriend Brad Pitt's last name to that of her newly adopted son, Pax, documents showed on Tuesday… Jolie's representatives have explained that she adopted Pax as a single mother from Vietnam because that country does not permit unmarried couples to adopt children.
Let's hope this lesson sticks firmly in Angelina Jolie's mind, and that she'll choose a country with less legal loopholes to leap through whenever she next decides to adopt another child.
But let's be serious for a moment – we all know the reason why Angelina Jolie keeps changing Pax Thien's name, and she isn't fooling anyone. By changing Pax's surname slightly, it's obvious that Angelina is trying to trick magazines into thinking she's got a brand new baby that she can charge millions of dollars per photoshoot for again. Nice try Angelina, nice try.