As Angelina Jolie knows, adopting a child can be very rewarding – you get the satisfaction of being a parent, the joy of knowing you're giving an underprivileged kid a better life, plus you get truckloads of cash when you flog the snaps to a magazine.
Now that Angelina Jolie is the full legal owner of her new adopted three-year-old Vietnamese son Pax Thien Jolie, she's going to have to teach Pax the ways of life. Rule one of that seems to involve whoring out your new kids when they're at their most confused and vulnerable – in addition to the pictures of Angelina Jolie and Pax Thien that grace the front cover of Hello magazine this week, Angelina Jolie has also sold further exclusive pictures of her new family to People magazine for $2 million, according to one report.
We're in the wrong business here – after some rough calculations we've discovered that if we convince a moviestar to leave his wife for us and then traipse around the world adopting babies with him and selling their pictures to magazines for the same price that Angelina Jolie does, by Christmas we'll have enough cash to buy that golden child-powered yacht we've had our eye on.
If we were orphaned in a war-torn poverty-filled country with terrible infant mortality rates, it'd be Angelina Jolie that we'd want to adopt us. Meg Ryan's adopted kid is painfully anonymous and getting adopted by Madonna seems like too much of a hassle – but when Angelina Jolie adopts you, boy, are you in for the good life. David Beckham teaches you football, you're allowed to annoy Graham Norton all you like, you get more Christmases than any other children and if you're well-behaved you might even get to see Mummy run over an Indian.
Plus there's all the fame – even though she wasn't adopted, Angelina Jolie's last child Shiloh Nouvel was the most famous person on the planet for a spell last year. Over a short period of time Shiloh Nouvel was whored out to magazines, turned into a bona fine fashion icon and finally carved out of wax – and now it's the turn of Pax Thien Jolie, the little Vietnamese boy that Angelina Jolie adopted either normally or a little bit fast-tracked.
But before he can get his hands on a creepy wax likeness of himself, Pax Thien will first have to sit through a photoshoot with People magazine, for which Angelina Jolie could be paid a couple of million dollars, as Radar reports:
Sources… say the globetrotting actress and her not-quite-husband, Brad Pitt, have sold the first photos of their newest adoptee to People. We hear the price tag was between $1.75 million and $2 million, with Getty Images, which brokered the deal, taking a fee of between 5 and 10 percent. A People spokesperson calls that number "absurd," but adds, "We don't comment on the specifics on any negotiations."
And in the meantime – as Pax is flown back to America to meet Brad Pitt – Angelina Jolie has been seen on the cover of Hello magazine with Pax Thien, and has spoken about how freaked out he is by everything all the time. This Is London reports:
The Tomb Raider star told Hello!: "He is a very serious, very sweet little boy. "We are slowly beginning to build his trust and bond but it will feel complete only when we are all a family. You can imagine what courage it takes to be in all new surroundings with new people and a new language. He is very strong. It will take him a while to realise he has a family; that his new life is permanent and it won't keep changing." Jolie has given Pax Thien a Gameboy as one of his first presents. "He has never had anything to call his own," she explained.
All that is bound to change, though – even if Angelina Jolie is determined to keep Pax Thien as earthy and grounded as possible, aspects of materialism are almost certain to creep into his life. For example, what's waiting for Pax Thien in his new American bedroom? As many unsold Troy action figures as he could ever wish for, that's what.
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DD MORE says
Actress adopts poor children….again….it’s kinda an repeat performance…
Does anyone remember Mia Farrow now 62 years old – and Woody Allen now 71 years old, and their adopted brew of children – 12 kids – worldwide? Mia Farrow has done amazing things for these children, silently…and she is stilll giving and doing amazing things internationally, for children.
Does anyone remember how that ended…her husband Woody Allen had a romance & sexual relationship with their adopted daughter, Soon-Yi . I think they , Woody & his adopted daughter are even married. Now he’s making movies and flirting, with Scarlett Johansson? oh, no, there’s no affair. well, not a sexual one, anyway, right?
Vajranagini says
GREAT Commentary! However you forgot to point out this pedophile-friendly cover where she appears to be NAKED along with her KID…if you look around you will see that in other, less thoroughly cropped versions of this cover, she does NOT appear to be clothed. Since she is advocating child trafficking, it seems only appropriate that the people who stand to profit from her activities, i.e. pedophiles and pornographers (sex slavery is the fastest growing sector of organized crime these days) should be treated to a semi-pedophilic shot of her seemingly sitting naked with her equally naked acquisition)
billybob says
If you’d done your research properly you would find that Jolie donates all the money she makes from the pics that she sells.
She’s been in the business enough to know that the paparazzi will hound her to death for those shots she so cuts them off at the knees
and helps a few people along the way.
Pretty smart if you ask me.
Coleen says
Comments like this just make you look foolish. Everyone knows Jolie puts the money she gets for her kids’ photos back into her charities.
Please be part of the solution, not the problem.
Diplomat says
I loved this article. This society is overly obsessed with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. She makes millions of dollars and claim that she donates it to “undisclosed” charities. Does this money really go there? If she is this celebrity that uses her fame to gain recognitionfor Third World Countries, why doesn’t she publish the name of the charities that she donates the money? She could bring recognotion to that charity also.
It is clear to me that the adoption process was highly in favor of Jolie and that no normal single parent would have legally adopted a child within three weeks, there would be months before they were even approved.
There is something foolish about the way she sees these children. “Madox and Zahara do not have who to look up to while Shiloh has me and Brad to look at”. Why can’t M and Z look up to them? So the solution that she came up was: let’s purchase an Asian boy for M to play with, meanwhile lets start the purchase process for an African child so z has someone to play with.
There is something not right in this logic. The poor child instead of having a normal family, is having one that puts him in the spotlight and crave attention when they say they want to be left alone.
There are hundreds of American families, middleclass families, who adopt everyday and change lives, lets give them this $ 2 million so at least their children’s college education is secured. Stop worshiping an Angelina Jolie world where everything has to be according to her rules, her likes and desires and nothing else matters.
Internaltional Adopter says
As someone who adopted from Ethiopia shortly before Angelina did, I personally saw what it was like for these children. The first street child I met reached in through the taxi window asking for money for food. I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl, mainly because my attention was on the fingers, missing from the first knuckles down. In the 10 days we were there, I saw many horrific things, including a large number of children on the street. Of the 100 or so children I saw, most of them are now dead, as the child mortality rate below the age of 5 is nearly 50% in Ethiopia. These numbers are not far off from the rest of Africa and most third world countries. Anglelina’s children had a 50% chance of dieing where they were. Now they are housed, well fed, cared for and have the benefits of western medicine. I challenge anyone, what else matters? Because of the publicity that she brought to internal adoption, the number of Ethiopian adoptions have surged, saving many many more children. When the outcome is saving children, why do you care to dispute such meaningless things? If you personally haven’t adopted, please shut up.
Mark from Maryland says
How sad that you are so mean. Shame on you.
Jesse says
I do not understand why adoption agencies keep letting Angelina Jolie adopt their children. She is unmarried, with no stable home, has two different major careers as an international movie star and UN Refugee Rep. She cannot remain in one place geographically for more than six weeks. Her extended family is minimal and/or estranged. She already has three children under six years old, including a 10 mth old baby who she barely acknowledges. And, finally, she is involved in a very complicated personal relationship with Brad Pitt, another international movie star, who’s previous marriage was destroyed for this relationship. These are NOT good facts, folks. These children are being placed in a very unhealthy and vulnerable situation. Other than the $$$, this is no scenario for innocent children. Between them, Angelina and Brad has three divorces already. What stability? Also, did anyone bother to learn Vietnamese in the past year that they’ve supposedly been adopting Sang (or the new narcissistic name, Pax)? If it were for a movie role, you’d bet your ass they would speak it. I don’t see any signs of authentic caring for the children here. Just lots of press and $$$. What a fraud.
JustLogic says
As if Americans are not despised enough the rest of the world, here comes Jolie with a profit sharing intended adoption opportunity from aghast! third worlld country! You just brought awareness worlwide how capitalizing pigs americans are! It is not about what you can afford to provide the children but also what degree of emotional well being this adoption can derive for the children. I’m not here to judge but it seems she has nothing to offer these children besides money, if she is unable to recognize her inherently stuck feelings and learn to let go of her animosity of Jon Voight. Adoption is not a qick fix to to repress her feelings of being “unwanted”. This will only reflect with the way she feels for and raise the children, adopted or biological.
shawna says
lmao, wow, I know I’m reading this article late, but you really brought out the passion with this one. all these people don’t care, but sure have a lot to say.