So it's official. Angelina Jolie has now fully adopted the three-year-old Vietnamese boy she was after, greeting him with a hug and a kiss – no doubt marking the first of many sexually confused moments the boy will have around his new mother.
Yesterday Vietnamese officials granted Angelina Jolie's wish to adopt the boy – who Angelina has bewilderingly named named Pax Thien Jolie – before an official ceremony took place to mark the boy's legal adoption. And now Pax Thien Jolie's life is about to change dramatically, because when it comes to being constantly dragged around the globe all the time while you're trailed by hoards of men all screaming and flashing lights in your eyes until you're completely disorientated, there's really no better mother than Angelina Jolie.
Yesterday we reported that the Vietnamese government was speeding up Angelina Jolie's adoption of the three-year-old boy that she decided would make a better keepsake of her Thanksgiving jaunt to Vietnam than, say, a T-shirt with the words 'I Like Vietnam' on it. What we didn't know was that 'speeding up' meant that Angelina Jolie would be handed her new adopted child almost instantly. CNN reports:
Nguyen Van Trung, director of the orphanage, confirmed Thursday that Vietnamese officials had approved the adoption. Jolie was expected to meet with U.S. consular officials, who must review the adoption before a passport can be issued for the boy… "This morning he woke up at 6, just like all the children," Trung said. "He put on new clothes, and he was very excited." Trung said the child at first seemed shy with his mother-to-be, he said. When Jolie and the boy left, the orphanage staff and children gave them a round of applause… The same vehicle later arrived at the Department of Justice in Ho Chi Minh City, where Vietnamese adoption officials said a ceremony was conducted at which Jolie officially took possession of the child.
It's not big shock that Angelina Jolie has adopted little Pax Thien Jolie from Vietnam – Angelina filed for adoption last week – but the speed in which the adoption has been pushed through has surprised many. Maybe Angelina Jolie wanted a quick adoption to avoid looking like an adoption moron like Madonna, or maybe she just wanted to get home sharpish to paint her face black again. Nobody really knows for sure.
But now that Angelina Jolie has adopted Pax Thien Jolie from Vietnam – Brad Pitt was left out of the adoption process due to the dim view taken of unmarried couples by Vietnamese officials – Pax can now now get on with the important business of getting to know Angelina Jolie's family, from Graham Norton annoyer Maddox from Cambodia to little Zahara from Ethiopia to Shiloh Nouvel from inside Angelina Jolie's own guts and sort of Namibia a bit.
So what can Pax Thien Jolie – presumably given that name because it's so easy to pronounce that not even Pax's estranged adopted grandfather John Voight can fuck it up – expect from his new life as part of Angelina Jolie's beautiful family? Of course its too early to say yet, but we imagine it won't be long before Pax Thien Jolie is getting football training from David Beckham and helping confused boutiques sell out of baby clothes before being loving recreated in the medium of some wax.
And if that's what Pax Thien Jolie has got lined up, what about the future for Angelina Jolie? Well, in addition to promoting her movie about beating up Indians, it can only be a matter of months before Angelina Jolie decides to inevitably adopt again. People of New Orleans – lock your kids up now.