Angelina Jolie To Adopt A Gazillion More Kids
Then buzz it up
April 4th, 2007 at 15:30 by Stuart Heritage
Angelina Jolie has adopted three children from around the world and given birth to another; that would be enough for most mothers, but it's thought that Angelina Jolie already wants another one - so we can assume that she has very dirty chimneys.
After swanning around the planet plucking babies willy-nilly, Angelina Jolie has suddenly realised that her adopted Ethiopian daughter Zahara doesn't have any other black faces to look at all day and is reported to have swiftly moved on this by getting ready to adopt another baby girl from Chad. Not the country Chad, you realise, this dude Chad we used to work with. Nice guy, kidnaps babies to order as a sideline.
So it looks like we were completely wrong. All last week we were trying to guess the nationality of the next baby that Angelina Jolie would adopt. And, although she's not adopting from Wales or Iraq or Mexico or Somalia or India, Angelina Jolie has her heart set on adopting a little black baby from Chad, and will apparently have her by the summer. Why Chad? Well, as Angelina Jolie herself explains, her Ethiopian baby Zahara doesn't have any other black people to look at:
"Should you balance the races, so there's another African person in the house for Zahara, after another Asian person in the house for Mad? We think so. Shiloh has Brad and me to look at."
Sources close to Angelina Jolie say that Jolie has already picked her next adoptee - a one-year-old girl from Oure Cassoni - and has instructed her lawyers to start the adoption process.
If Angelina Jolie does decide to adopt another baby, though, she'll cause a lot of controversy. Pax Thien, Angelina's newest adopted baby, was adopted from Vietnam amid claims that Angelina Jolie had fast-tracked the process, and just last week it was reported that a gang had tried to kidnap Pax and hold him to ransom for $50 million. Should Angelina Jolie decide to go through with this Chad adoption, she'll need to keep security tight and make sure that the adoption is carried off to the letter to survive the inevitable scrutiny.
But Angelina Jolie's adoption plans aren't all doom and gloom, though - it's undoubtedly a good thing that she's doing by continuing to provide a level of upbringing that these children couldn't possibly dream of. Plus, don't forget that kids equals photoshoots - and photoshoots equals millions of dollars.
Look, whatever you think about Angelina Jolie thinking that adopting a black baby is the way to solve the problem of her current black baby not seeing any more black faces, let's all just be thankful that Angelina Jolie didn't solve the problem by blacking her own face up again.
Read more:
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April 4th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
The battle over the inheritance is gonna be fucking awesome when she pegs it.
April 5th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Very charitable of her, granted. Generous benefactress of the needy. I mean that.
I am needy too.
However, if it is true that the reasoning she applied to the decision of adopting yet another human baby is based on “balancing the races, then I, being the eternal optimist that I am, do well and truly despair. What possible example or image do the likes of Madonna and Jolie wish to portray on the masses? That they can foster lives here, there and everywhere, based primarily on the fact that everybody else is also at it? Britney goes unwell, Madonna in Malawi, Angelina everywhere.
What is happening?? Is there no work or too much time on their hands? Or perhaps it makes no difference.
April 5th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Why does this kid need another racially similar face to “look at” in the first place? If they’re a family, color and such really shouldn’t worry them. That is, unless…Jolie and Pitt are creating and shaping segregated teams of ethnic children to later unleash and easily win some racial game show like that one Survivor.
September 20th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
no bold heads and no boys