You wouldn't want to be Anand Jon Alexander at the moment – not only has Anand Jon been charged with yet another 13 counts of rape, lewd acts on a child and false imprisonment, but his Spring 07 fashion collection is totally, like, so icky.
It's another fall for Anand Jon Alexander – not so long ago Anand Jon was being tipped as one of the most potentially exciting fashion designers in America, but now he's gained more fame as being that ultra creepy rapist guy with the twatty hair. These new charges mean that Anand Jon Alexander now faces life imprisonment if he's found guilty, which would surely disappoint him hugely – not because of the usual glib 'jail overalls are so 05' remarks we usually throw out at this point, but because prison will probably be fairly free of young girls that Anand Jon can rape.
We can't pretend that we're experts on the fashion industry, but we're almost entirely certain that it's an industry full of preening, vapid, self-absorbed idiots who wouldn't do a nice thing to another person of their own accord if they had a gun to their head. Case in point – Naomi Campbell works in the fashion industry. Another case in point – Cindy Crawford works in the fashion industry. Another case in point – Anand Jon works in the fashion industry.
Or Anand Jon worked in the fashion industry. Maybe he still does – we're not experts, so we're not especially sure of the fashion industry's policy for men who've been charged with several counts of rape, including a few special counts of raping minors.
You'll remember that Anand Jon Alexander – designer for Paris Hilton and Mary J Blige, regular star of America's Next Top Model and one of Newsweek's Faces To Watch for 2007 – got himself in a bit of a pickle a couple of weeks ago when he was charged with six counts of rape and sexual assault. Anand Jon's trouble only worsened five days later when his rape charge count shot up even further. And now, guess what? That's right – Anand Jon Alexander has been charged with even more counts of rape and sexual assault, as the Los Angeles Times reports:
Prosecutors filed 13 new criminal charges Wednesday against a celebrity fashion designer accused of sexually assaulting women and girls… The new charges include rape, lewd acts on a child and false imprisonment. Jon was also charged with an additional misdemeanour count of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He pleaded not guilty to all charges.
These new charges bring Anand Jon's rape-count up to a staggering 27 felony counts and a further five misdemeanours. Anand Jon has always maintained his innocence, it's worth pointing out, claiming that all the girls claiming rape are all just bitter because they slept with Anand Jon and he didn't put them on TV, or something.
Anand Jon is now free on $1.3 million bail, but isn't allowed around anyone under the age of 30 unless they have a guardian present, presumably in case he rapes them. And the guardians had better not be pretty or look too much like children, either, because – judging by all the charges facing him – Anand Jon might lose control and start falsely imprisoning them in a lewd way, too.
Hey, we said might.
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lauren says
i am apalled at the rape counts of these women and girls. ive always wanted to be in the fashion industry and i’m 15. now i know what to be prepared for! Thanks a lot, you pervert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!