Last night’s American Idol was shocking for one reason. Yes, Matt Giraud’s gone. Yes Adam Lambert was in the bottom two.
But that’s not it. We’re talking about the fact that, on last night’s American Idol, we discovered that Taylor Hicks isn’t dead. Not only that, but Taylor Hicks also hasn’t fallen into such a state of destitute poverty that he’s had to harvest his internal organs to Russian gangsters for food. Talk about a shock.
However, Matt Giraud left American Idol last night, knowing that he’ll never even be as popular as Taylor Hicks. Fate’s a sod sometimes.
In the world of American Idol, everything has a hidden message. True, the majority of those hidden messages seem to be either ‘Wow, these Fords and comfortable AND affordable!’ or ‘Here, have you tried thirst-quenching Coca-Cola recently? I heard it makes your penis bigger’, but the American Idol guest stars send a different message completely.
When Jennifer Hudson was an American Idol guest star a few weeks ago, the message was that any of the contestants can achieve their dream through sheer strength of personality regardless of where they come in the competition. And when Jamie Foxx appeared on American Idol this week, the message seemed to be ‘Never, ever let yourself become this man. Ever. Look at him. He’s a massive tool.’
And then there’s Taylor Hicks, who filled the guest star spot on last night’s American Idol results show to perform his new single Generic Redneck Bollocks or whatever it was called. What was the hidden message of Taylor Hicks?
Well, it could have been a stark warning to the American Idol contestants that even the show’s winners can spend their lives snivelling in total obscurity. Or it could have been a friendly reminder that America likes its reality TV show winners if they don’t constantly twitch like a Vietnam veteran licking a car battery. Who knows?
But forget Taylor Hicks (again) because two huge things happened on last night’s American Idol. The first was that Matt Giraud was eliminated, which we won’t dwell on because we’ve already written his obituary once. The second, though, blindsided us a bit.
The second was that Adam Lambert – the flamboyant emo with the voice that sounds like an angel being attacked with pins, the man who everyone was convinced would win American Idol – was in the bottom two. Reuters reports:
Host Ryan Seacrest played up the surprise results for all it was worth, taking Lambert by the arm to join fellow low vote-getters Matt Giraud and Kris Allen, leaving Iraheta and Danny Gokey to stare at each other slack-jawed. After Lambert ended up in the Bottom Three, panelists Paula Abdul and Kara DioGuardi both expressed shock. ?It's crazy,? Abdul said.
For once, Paula Abdul is right. It is crazy that Adam Lambert, who Simon Cowell gave a standing ovation to a few weeks ago, was almost eliminated from American Idol. Why did it happen? Are people sick of all the attention that Adam Lambert gets? Have people stopped voting for him because they assume he’s going to win anyway? Do people really prefer Dead Wife Bloke? Do they? Really? Because that’d be weird.
Still, though, at least we understand what Paula Abdul was banging on about when she said that Adam Lambert was like Michael Phelps this week. It doesn’t mean that he’s a champion athlete, it just means that everyone thinks he’s creepy and a bit funny-looking. It all makes so much sense now.
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amanda says
You are an idiot Stuart!
Matt says
When I first watched Adam on AI, I was like the rest, all taken in by him because whilst others were still so amateurish, he was so confident on stage. I got sick of Adam after 3 weeks of the final 12. He is always over the top with his appearances and music, he kind of assumes he is the idol already an comes across attention seeking. Contrary to what people thinks, he gives me the impression he is not true of himself. I feel he needs to hide alot, perhaps because of his over make-up and over dressing and over acting on stage. The others on the show almost look “innocent” compared to him! His vocals aren’t that great either, just different from the rest. But doesn’t connect to me. After a while, I got bored and shifted attention to Kris whom as the show progresses, has changed a lot in an extremely genuine way.
lynette harris says
this is bull,,,,adam should win, he is awesome,,,i say get the red haired thing off there, her voice sucks
SUsan says
Hate to disagree Stuart, not everyone “hates Adam Lambert”. I, for one, think he’s fantastic. Adam should win. In spite of what Randy keeps saying (in place of any real critique), “this is a singing competition–and you can sing” (duh), this is NOT merely a singing competition. This is a competition for who could be a singing superstar, an idol.
Danny Gokey, Kris Allen and Allison Iraheta can sing. We get that. However, they are not idols nor superstars. A superstar takes performing a song to a new level, a superstar challenges, surprises, entrances and seduces his or her audience. Adam can do that–he has done that on this show. No one is swooning after a Danny Gokey performance. No one is talking about him (or the others for that matter) a week later, wondering what he’ll do next. Its safe to say that people are still talking about and watching Adam Lambert performances a week later.
Adam can obviously learn something after this week. To keep it different, to keep surprising, to keep it real may take more than a costume change. He should not become a caricature of himself–keep the tongue in, keep the sustained high notes in his back pocket until they can really have a dramatic effect (watch Mad World, Ring of Fire–the two best by far, by anyone).
I will not watch this show the moment Adam is no longer a contestant–why bother? He is the only performer on that stage who cannot only sing (and quite amazingly at that), but who has seduced me hook, line and sinker with his combination of sex appeal, charisma and stagecraft. He’s the total package, the real deal, an Idol.
darlin says
You are truly an idiot. Taylor doing just fine, he has never disappeared all you have to do is look. Two back to back very successful tours that kept him on the road for a long time, Grease, in which he is incredible, and an extremely good new album. He would have been seen more if he had wanted to be one of those “tools” but he didn’t . Hes doing it in his own way, in his own time. And hes great.
Karen says
Idol is playing games again.
Adam really wasn’t in the bottom two; it’s just Idol trying to make sure that he wins by rallying the troops so to speak. Most polls, DialIdol and others have Danny winning slightly or he and Adam are neck and neck… that’s too close for Idol so they have to make sure that their guy wins. They did this in Season 2 with Ruben…he landed in the bottom two once after a fantastic performance and then never came near it again… Ruben and Clay were too close so they had to make sure that their guy got more support.
I’m in no way saying that Adam shouldn’t win… just saying that perhaps it’s too close and Idol wants to make sure that he does win.
Personally if it comes down to Adam and Danny I’m praying that Adam wins. Danny has limited vocal range and by the end of all his songs he’s straining to sing… he is off more than on pitch and honestly he just annoys me… perhaps he can go meditate on that for a while!!
Louann from Canada says
ADAM LAMBERT ROCKS MY WORLD AND THERE HASN’T BEEN A PERFORMER LIKE THIS GUY SINCE ELVIS PRESLEY.
If Adam doesn’t win, not only will I stop watching American Idol for good but it will also send a message to all of us that America is not picking an Americal Idol. . .and it wouldn’t be the first time.
Adam has all of the qualities an artist could possibly have. His performances are nothing short of genius.
Too bad CANADA can’t vote because CANADA will get it right!!!!!!!!
I can’t wait to see what he does next as he truly keeps us entertained.
Oh by the way Stuart . . .Adam hasn’t began to peak. When he does you’ll know what “peaking” really means.
The other contestants . . .really tell me . . .what do you remember from any of them? Nothing. Adam . . . I can visualize his every performance and no one on that show comes close to him.
Gokey . . .he mentioned last night he watches other performers . . .and it’s Adam that he idolizes that’s why he didn’t want to say who. Adam helps the rest . . . he is someone to admire for that. Who else would help their competition?
L
Gerry says
I wonder why the vote totals suddenly shot up from the usual 30 million to about 50 million. Was something wrong with their calculators? Or did the news report from Bill O’Reilly to his conservative viewers about the danger of having a “gay” American Idol bring out many more viewers/voters who care nothing for talent or good singing. Maybe they just voted for ANYONE other than Adam to keep him from winning?
John says
I’m sorry, but after reading a couple paragraphs of your aritcle I had to stop. The way you write (and probably talk as well) is just….annoying to be it simply. “Dead Bloke Wife”??? People can vote for Danny for other reasons besides his dead wife. How about the way he sings? He is an amazing singer. Also, yes it is shocking about Adam Lambert. Creppy? Funny-looking? Yeah, sure. Have you seen your pic lately? I read the title of this article and saw your pic. For someone who writes articles, you sure don’t have a very professional picture.
LORRIE says
I do not agree…I liked Adam at the very beginning but he has gotten to the point that he is boring and he really annoys me!!!! If he did not have all those spot lights and smoke and stuff and dresses so unusual and different from everyone else, noone would give him a second look. Adam is a good onstage performer but he is just not one that I would turn my radio on and listen to as I am going down the road..I feel Danny Gokey or Kris Allen should win it..They both put alot of feeling behind their singing, where everything that Adam does I feel like is an act because he is in theater now already…He is too confident in this competetion to me…Its like he thinks that he is not going anywhere or something… If he wins, I will feel like this show has been stage from the very beginning and I do not think that I would ever watch the show again. Adam whines to much when he sings and there is alot more talent out there in the other three… Adam is not all that and I would not buy one of his CD’s just because I do not like the way that he sings and screams. Just my opinion…
chris says
Adam is a faggot and reminds me of that homosexual prince. Is that what America wants? A homo?
TESSA says
Well guess who was never in the bottom two…TAYLOR HICKS!
chibi says
yeah, well, unlike the rest of the USA I wouldn’t complain if Adam got booted. I don’t think he’s done that great recently. I agree with Lorrie- Adam does whine sometimes, and it gets old. Not to mention half of America thinks he’s hot, so hey, they vote for him. I’m not saying he can’t sing, or else he wouldn’t be there, but I don’t feel it should be based solely upon looks. And thats how it seems to be with Adam. If you think that not watching Idol anymore because Adam Lambert doesn’t win is going to solve your problems, well, why not? .
Chrispy Divine says
So what did you ask Taylor to do an interview and he said “No,sorry I am busy doing more important things”. What a complete inaccurate and boring bash on someone who has done nothing but focus his attention on being an artist rather than how he can end up on TMZ. Please take a moment and look at the train wrecks that we have for our kids to look up to. Now close your eyes and blame yourself for allowing them to be picked up and sent off to the be manufactured into the next Britney Spears. Not only has Taylor Hicks basically done a 360 since season 5 but he has done it all without being a media tramp but yet for some reason he gets no love. Wonder why?? Well becuase he makes your job harder, not enough creativity to write from your head and heart so lets do a run down on a show that is on its last lap and bash one of the only real true artist that actually won (sorry Clarkson). I am all about having an opinion but what was written wasnt an opinion it was someone trying hard to make someone else look bad with no fact to back it up. Thanks Taylor for Keeping it real (pun intended) and look forward to seeing you this summer in concert. (fingers Crossed!)
Chrispy Divine says
So sad you feel like that. Hope the swine flu make its way to your house. Ooops was that mean? Happy to be Queer!
Chris says
Ok everybody it does come down to opinion. And like&*^$% everybody has one. I personally think Adam is the best male singer the show has ever had. And chris who commented that who would want a homo to win well maybe your afraid because you are attracted to Adam. And for some who says he is to theatrical wel duh it is a competition fro showmnanship and vocals. I play in a few bands with good and great singers. Adam is a great singer/performer the other guys are good enough to sing out in clubs if they have writing skills then maybe they would go further as Daughtry did. I can’t wait to here Adams cd when this is done hope he does a covewr tribute then an original abulm such a cool voice like Freddy mercury who also is gay but who cares
Chris says
I think you are a closet gay and upset that you are atracted to Adam so you just want him to go away so you don’t lose yourself in your gay tendencies. Buy the way I love woman and am not gay nor do i care if people are gay more woman for me and somebody to go clothes shoping with my girlfriend! Do like like shopping Chrissy?
Vic says
The only thing that Adam Lambert rocks is a cock in his mouth. He blows (literally). Way over the top, overrated, bent over every way possibly. All you people up in arms defending this “show” and it’s “Idols” need to get over it. I mean seriously, harden the fuck up.
jane says
By far Adam is the best contestant that AI has ever had, he is the complete package (performer and singer, and hot as hell) The fact that he is gay has absolutly nothing to do with the competition. Believe it or not, being gay is accepted, except from very very small minded people. Go Adam!!!!
SHAR says
It will be a huge loss for American Idol show if Lambert does not win the American Idol as it has brought more and more viewers to the show. Adam has raised the bar so high that it will continue to bring on nothing but the best for each season. I think it also will make more people that are really talented realize that this is the best way to get a chance. All they ask is you can sing and sing well and each week made sure you get better. The show has come along way since Kelly Clarkson. This year has been the best. Adam would never tryed if his friends did not realize that he was major talent. ADAM will represent this show the BEST and we will be it implode in to a bigger and better show every year. It will make several winners millionaires and can do nothing but help our country pull out of the mess it is in. It is really gotten to be a “haf to see” show that I will not miss. I hope Danny, Kris, Allison all do well and they will make great money but Adam is the one I will pay to go see. I will buy his albums and I will be a great fan even if I am a great grandmother. Please vote and vote for ADAM
Jennifer says
I agree I have always HATED Adam….. At first I didn’t even know if he was male or female. I think it’s a He/She. LOL
Jennifer says
I have always loved Taylor Hicks from the first time I saw him and was THRILLED when he actually won. He is truly a class act. I know he’s kept a low profile but he truly is awesome.
JWCO720 says
So true.
chris says
Chris, LOL, I just think that American Idol should represent a true American and not some vision of a homosexual. I understand everyone has there own taste in life and I am fine with that, what I am not fine with is his voice sounding like Prince. Danny is by far the better choice and he comes from a true religious background. Far better then what I can say about Adam which doesn’t even care about not even one sport, only theatrics. Look at Elton John, now that is a true queer, at least John has talent though and doesn’t sound like Prince.
marc says
i hope adam looses. hes too good! if he wins, his hands would be tied in the quality and style of his music. hell, if he looses he could make a whold cd from just the songs hes done on idol! hes too good for the “buble gum” stuff
wong says
Mr. Heritage, you don’t know what you are talking about!
starr says
I cannot believe you are allowed to publish this nonsense Stewart!!! A.. you only wish you had half the success and talent that jamie fox, adam lambert, matter of fact any of the contestants have. B.. who are you to say what kind of future Matt will hold. You are not God nor do you hold the key to any mans success in such an industry, evidentally, you have no knowledge about. And the rest of these morons commenting about Adam’s sexual preference… what does that have to do with his talent?? you are haters and probably lead dull miserable lives. At least they are out there trying to make something of their lives. whether gay straight black or white.
yehaw00 says
My vote is for Adam. It is true that he excudes confidence, and gives the appearance that he has already won the Idol contest at times, but aren’t those attributes what a singer needs to win this thing? He has the look, he can sing and dress in different styles, and he has the IT factor. I think it must have been a shock to him to end up in the bottom 2. Maybe that will give him a certain humility, not that I think he needs it. Alot of people probably think that he has it made anyway, so they just go ahead and vote for somebody else. This will probably just get more people to watch the finals.
eldora says
Shame on you! You speak as though you actually know something about what Taylor Hicks has been doing since his big win in season 5. You know NOTHING. He had a very successful tour of his own after idol and has been very busy appearing around the country. Now he is touring with “Grease” He was fantastic on the show last nite. Simon did not react to what Taylor had to say. He did give him a standing ovation. Wake up. You are the one who is a forgettable jerk!
America got it right last night. Enough of Adam’s theatrics. I liked him at the start of the season, but now his screaming is getting on my nerves. Go Gokey and Allison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
belle says
Sorry to see so many intolerant contributors. Adam’s sexual orientation is quite irrelevant to the discussion regarding his talent as a singer and a performer. I happen to be straight, but who cares? I did not choose to be straight any more than Adam chose to be gay. Again, who cares? In my view, Adam absolutely has remarkable talent and charisma. Moreover, he has a pleasant manner and a beautiful appearance. Go Adam!!!!!
veryluckyalways says
STOP those BORING idols like Taylor, Cook, and Dany.
STOP beig TACKY America.
Time for change!!!!
Vote for Adam!!!
Michele says
Taylor Hicks has disappeared according to you? I guess you call a run on the Broadway Stage, with great reviews, disappearing? I guess you consider being named Rookie of the Year on Broadway disappearing? What are you smoking, man? Taylor totally rocked the Idol stage. Just like he has done every single time he has performed on it. Record sales does not translate into talent. This is so obvious; take for instance that little ditty that Jamie Foxx sang (I use that word loosely!) I couldn’t understand a single word that came out of his mouth, he was horrible, yet he has the #1 hit in the nation. Taylor is a fantastically talented musician and performer. Get a life!
rufus says
lambert is like a funiture maker equipped with a state-of-the-art shop and tools who turns out god-awful gaudy kitsch that no one but a half blind wealthy spinster or a total flamimg queen would want in their house.
labelle says
Hi,Louann,great words!I think,Canada can vote! I m living in Peru and I figured out how to vote with an international telefonecard.Start asking around how you can make phonecalls to USA..Im tecnically not that talented,but I voted full 2 hours last week.My friend in USA just sent me a message when I could start voting and which telefonnumber and it worked out great!I placed like 150 votes for Adam on 2 telefonlines!
THAT may never ever happen again that an exeptional talented singer like Adam finishes in the bottom 2..(even if I still think somebody is massing with us…)
greetings from Lima
labelle says
have a look at votefair,a poll with a diferent and very fair votingform.You cant vote more than once a day,you cant buy votes (the most ridiculous poll I ever heard..),you cant “earn” votes by inviting your friends…
Great statiistics,fair results.
Adan Adam s name aaaaaaall over the place!!
labelle says
You are such an asshole!Also want to kill your black president?Who cares what Adam does behind closed doors,not your business.He s a fantastic singer.
Wake up,Hitler,you are in the 21.th century!!
labelle says
YES SIR!!!Third strike for the homofobian!
labelle says
you re right,that happened to Taylor.At least hes free do do what he want now.
But taylor was (is) kinda one-style-guy.
Adam can sing tampon-comercials and still be in the Top Ten.
Listen to the very diferent styles of his performances.
I want him to win so very badly because he really goes for it,never plays save,is comfortable everywhere,takes risks,stands to himself and worked hard (still does) very,very hard for this.
So I say….vote like never before and make shure he gets the crown..and not “please-hit-me-in-the-face”-Danny..
labelle says
Adam is very confident on stage because he KNOWS who he is and that he has talent.But he s the sweetest,non-arrogant,humilde person when he finished singing.The first to hug the ones which are ,the first who hugs the ones which have to go,never speaks back to the judges,always listening quiet and carefully,even if they give positive feed-backs he s just happy and touched.
In the mansion he s the Big Brother,so they tell.I dont believe that he needs a warning shoot like this.
cant stop thinking it was a bad move from A.I. to keep the suspect of who ll win fresh and he was n really bottom 2…!!??
labelle says
here we go!And Taylor is for shure not Simons favourite!!
labelle says
taylor was the firs outstanding contestant on A.I.He was diferent,weird,himself,funny,and far away from being boring.I think he even opened a door for other diferent singers.
Go Adam!catch the gold,its yours!!
labelle says
Pfhhh..didnt understand ONE WORD!
Kathy says
I love Taylor Hicks!
Season 5 was my favorite year for Idol. Taylor Hicks, Chris Daughtry, Kellie Pickler, Ace Young, Bucky Covington, and some other people I can’t even remember.
I can’t believe Simon thinks this years finalists are the best group yet. I mean, does he say that every year? Not to put down the top finalists for the first few years, but there were only a few memorable contestants for each year. And I can’t remember season 6 at all. At least season 7 gave us David Cook & David Archuleta.
Maybe I’m just getting burned out on the show.
Kathy says
Oh yeah, and I don’t like Adam Lambert either. Just not my style. But I do believe he’s going to be a star, no matter where he ends up in the competition. Being gay isn’t going to hurt him, it didn’t hurt Elton John or Freddie Mercury. Wait, Freddie Mercury died of AIDS, guess it did hurt him in the end.
Sunny says
So here I am, after a number of adult beverages, whatever the hell that was I was smoking, and a lovely sleeping naked man over there on the bed – to check my emails. (Days behind…) What do I find as I sip my last bit of wine? The Soul Patrol Police/and gLambert fans out hammering the pixelated pavement of websites to defend their man/men/whatever-the-hell.
Especially hilarious they venture forth on this site to take anything written here seriously or of any real importance. labelle, Michele, eldora, (nice secret name, btw) man, stop the insanity chicas, walk away, really – or I’ll sic MFOYA back on you. *chuckle*
Ah, one can read this type of material on IdleTard.com any day so no biggie. (google if you need to)
nowhy says
I don’t agree with much of this article, but it was very funny. 8D
Chrispy Divine says
I am really not sure what you just said, But I came right out and said that I am gay so I am not a closet gay as you put it. Actually I am more attracted to the Jack Radcliffe type of guy so Adam as a Man does not do it for me. But as a singer he is everything that your not…Fabulous. I actually hate shopping and you were either drunk when you wrote your response or you are half stupid becuase it made no sense what so ever. Thanks for being you so I know how much I like who I am. Later…
Chrispy Divine says
Adam Lambert sounds nothing like Prince. In face I would compare him to Rob Halford before Prince would ever come to mind. Oh in fact Mr. Halford has joined the family by proudly coming out and not caring who knows it. And the same people that may be “Anti Gay” are the same people who are still supporting Judas Priest because when it is all said and done Rob Halford and Lambert are shockingly good. The whole religion thing is boring everyone knows that there is more corruption in organized…say it with me ORGANIZED religion than there is in the white house. The sad thing is, is until Jesus comes down himself and said he wrote the whole “Gay no Good” section in the Bible he was just sore from last nights orgy that got “a little out of hand”….Until then we are going to have to listen to this crap… Good luck with Gokey…He is such a good singer, gag!
Chrispy Divine says
I like your play on words.
Chrispy Divine says
Awsome
Chrispy Divine says
You really think Aids is still the “Gay Cancer” Guess all those hetero’s out with the low T Cell count taking there cocktail must have gone gay for the weekend. Wake up America Your still letting people change you. Put your mask’s down and start getting real…Aids is killing people not queers!!
Stella says
Labelle, thank you so much for your information. I’ve been thinking how to do it. I live in Hong Kong. Maybe you can go to other sites and let all worldwide Adam’s fans know. Or if you don’t mind, I will quote your post and post them in other sites. This is for the love of Adam. Thanks so much again.
Adam rules says
Okay
Before you say that Adam has little singing talent and it is all lights and stage and all that have obviously not done their research. What you think is ‘whining’ or ‘screaming’ is actually a NOTE which most people on this planet cannot reach. Also you should watch Adams cover of I just love you
that is beautiful
and a ballad
and no lights just his voice
honestly people
and thats my two cents
this is a link to his version of five for fighting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VQo6mCkEso
beautiful
dan says
Adam Lambert SUCKS, and most people DO hate him.
WEHATEIDOL.COM
NICK says
ADAM IS A SCREAMING PIECE OF SHIT HE CAN NOT SING
he tore apart 2 good songs with his high pitched screaming get this kid off tv and back to where he came from he is a joke
Poor bono from U2 is pissed off i bet this kid made a mess of his song one
i am a lesbian and could care less this kid is gay he is a joke
christine says
obama also encourages change lol
Taylor Hicks Fan says
Taylor Hicks just released a new song worldwide titled: SOS (Save My Body, Save My Soul)now available on iTunes. Purpose of song is to raise worldwide awareness to the plight of millions of abandoned and orphaned Children. Please download song from iTunes to help this important cause. Way to go Taylor! Thank you.