You know when your mum threatens to hit you, and the anticipation is worse than the actual violence?
American Idol does. And that’s not just because everyone involved in American Idol seems like they were beaten up as children and the abuse has manifested itself in chronic, relentless, insufferable attention-seeking. No, we’re talking about the American Idol Judge’s Save – the long-threatened but largely toothless gimmick that was finally brought into play last night.
And it was lucky old Matt Giraud who was saved by the American Idol judges. This means Matt Giraud will be out next week. Obviously.
There are several things that have set this season of American Idol apart from the others. For instance, this is the only American Idol season with four judges instead of three. Also, this is the first American Idol season to precede itself with an old contestant killing themselves near Paula Abdul‘s house. And let’s not forget that this has been the only American Idol season where we appear to have been gloriously encouraged to mock the blind.
But mainly there’s the Judge’s Save – the convoluted, slightly unfair and colossally stupid gimmick that allows the American Idol judges to save one contestant in the entire season from elimination provided that they’re not in the final four and two contestants are eliminated the following week, even though it’s almost guaranteed that one of those two eliminated contestants will be the one who the judges saved the week before. Are you keeping up? Good, because this is apparently very important.
And on last night’s American Idol, Matt Giraud was the lucky recipient of the Judge’s Save. Oh, you know Matt Giraud. He’s the completely unremarkable American Idol contestant who has never sang, said or thought anything of any interest to anyone, who seemed happy enough to bumble his way into the instantly forgettable doldrums of mid-season elimination and who has a brain that, we imagine, is capable of nothing more than playing this tune on an unrelenting internal loop.
Anyway, despite spending this week’s American Idol bellowing a horrible Bryan Adams song that was horrible even by Bryan Adams’ horrible standards, Matt Giraud was spared elimination by the kindly judges, probably because they know that Adam Lambert and Dead Wife Man are definitely going to make it into the final, allowing them to spunk away the save on any old bastard they like. Reuters reports:
“Matt, it’s good news,” Simon Cowell told the singer, who broke down in tears after the judges’ unanimous decision allowed him to stay in the competition at least one more week. The audience, which had chanted “Save, save, save!” cheered wildly.
So we’d like to offer our hearty congratulations to Matt Giraud. Matt, the public might have openly demonstrated their total apathy towards you – something that’s bound to hamper any dreams of you developing a successful post-Idol music career – but at least four smug millionaires have sort of said that they kind of like you, and that’s all that counts.
And this means that Matt Giraud will probably now get voted out for good during next week’s American Idol Disco Week. Forget what everyone says, Matt, there’s plenty of dignity in leaving a reality TV show while dressed in a colourful afro wig and sparkly platform shoes after performing a consolatory rendition of Funky Town. There is.
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amy says
your an asshole
next time just state the facts instead of putting in your unwanted opinion. thanks
wlo says
dude, did someone run over your mother this week or something? i think you pretty much insulted everything under the sun – except yourself of course. stating your like or dislike is part of the job discription but i think you forgot that america has kept him in up until last week – and the whole reason for the judges save is to keep someone in that normally would have caused an upset if they went home – b/c voters do make mistakes they regret – examples include jen hudson, michael johns, daughtry…so by the audiences reaction(save save)and of course the judges opinion matt would have been the guy that ppl would have been like “what the bleep? so-and-so should have gone hone before him!!!”…it doesn’t have to be your opinion but it seems to be the a lot of others. i didn’t like jen hudson to me she shouldn’t have been in the top 12 so to each his own but you don’t have to go so low all over the freakin’ nasty map. take a pill.
jacob says
“And it was lucky old Matt Giraud who was saved by the American Idol judges. This means Matt Giraud will be out next week. Obviously.”———hmmm it seems to me like Matt ended up staying an extra week. in your face bastard
so whats with all the hatred in this article? were you abused as a child?
FTL says
Matt will do more things with his life than you will. Get over yourself. He is an amazingly talented musician and you need to get a life. You were very arrogant and rude about many things in this article that your mother would be ashamed of. Go take a look in the mirror and realize you are a horrible person (so tough being an ass about people safe behind your computer) that needs to grow up.