It's that time again everybody, the time that we have a quick flick into the future to see what's going to befall your houses, via the magical medium of television. It would be wonderful if we could tell you what was going to happen in your life wouldn't it? Instead watching hours of TV, only to have zero of feedback from you ungrateful sods, we could say that ?You will meet a tall dark stranger who will offer you wonders beyond measure? but in reality you will stumble into a tramp, drop your coffee into his lap and learn some new, swearier words for ?stupid woman?.
Knowing the future isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It didn't do Cassandra, her from Greek legend, any good did it? No one believed her when she foresaw the fall of Troy, and the death of Agamemnon, but that was because she had a killer rack. Obviously Mystic Meg can't claim that. As flat as a witch?s tit that one. Essentially, no one really wants to know the future. Knowing that you're going to die on February 26th under the Number Six bus isn't going to many people any good (except the one person reading this who this prophecy does concern), and will probably lead to a life spent looking over your shoulder in case the tall, dark stranger is wearing a mad glint in his eye and holding a long knife.
That said, seeing the future and telling you what to watch this week is totally fantastic and should probably be seen as the best thing to happen to the human race since whoever invented Nutella was blasted out of their mother?s baby cannon. So, sit comfortably, pop some Nutella (or other available chocolate spreads) onto a slice of Ryvita (or other available cardboards) and let us, guide you, through the next week.