Foxy Brown's jailtime Christmas just got worse – she's been thrown in solitary confinement for 11 weeks, staying alone in a cell without a chimney, meaning that she can't even take part in her annual Foxy Brown Santa-beating ritual this year.
Proving that you can take a horse to water but you can't stop it screaming and attacking people like a wanker, Foxy Brown was sentenced to 76 days in solitary confinement because of a prison fight she got in earlier this month, followed by a failure to comply with a drug test and a spot of verbal abuse directed at a prison guard. So now Foxy Brown has to spend the rest of the year being alone in her cell for 23 hours a day in the hope that it'll calm her increasingly fractious ways. Of course, there's a chance that Foxy Brown will spend those 11 weeks alone learning how to channel her delirious anger until she's able to shoot nuclear-powered lasers out of her eyes, but that's the risk the prison guards will have to run.
Foxy Brown is like a gas. A tiny, occasionally deaf gas that can't make up its mind how pregnant it is. Because, like a gas, Foxy Brown always manages to fill whatever container she's put in, except that Foxy Brown tends to fill it with screaming and indiscriminate violence instead of freely-moving diffused particles. Put Foxy Brown in a nail salon and she'll start kicking the shit out of people. Put Foxy Brown in a beauty supplies shop and she'll throw a tantrum and destroy it. Put Foxy Brown in her own neighbourhood and she'll end up smashing someone in the face with a telephone. And then there's jail.
Thanks to more or less all of the above, Foxy Brown is enjoying a year in jail. Where the sensible thing for Foxy Brown to do would be to take her jail sentence seriously, educate herself in the prison library and leave next year with a better sense of who she is and what she wants to accomplish, what Foxy Brown has decided to do is throw a gigantic tantrum ahead of a scheduled court date because she didn't want to ride the prison bus. Oh, and get in a fight with another lady prisoner and end up spending close to three months in solitary confinement. E! Online reports:
The Ill Na Na rapper was relegated to 76 days of solitary confinement on Oct. 16 after scuffling with another inmate and exhibiting behavioral issues at Rikers Island, where she's currently serving a year for probation violation. A spokesman for the New York City Department of Correction said that Brown, whose real name is Inga Marchand, got into a shoving match with another prisoner on Oct. 3 and had to be forcibly separated from the woman. Neither woman was injured, but apparently that was only the beginning for Brown. According to the Post, a day after her mealtime meltdown, Brown refused to take a mandatory drug test and was verbally abusive toward some of the guards.
It says a lot about the distasteful nature of Foxy Brown's jailtime behaviour that we don't even find the thought of her dressed in a prison uniform going at it with another girl remotely sexual. Forget solitary confinement – this is Foxy Brown's real punishment.
But there's always hope that solitary confinement will change Foxy Brown for the best. Because now that she's trapped in a small container with only herself for company, there's nowhere left for Foxy to violently expand into any more, except herself. Perhaps this means that Foxy Brown will be able to use the time alone to work through whatever emotional problems she appears to have. Or maybe it'll just mean that Foxy Brown will come out of solitary confinement in 11 weeks with some sort of screwy multiple personality disorder, two black eyes and a dislocated jaw from trying to chew her own spine out. Either one's fine.
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F.F.Seikh says
Wait. Let me get this straight.
She was involved in a “shoving match”, then called a guard NAMES? And that’s solitary confinement.
Wow. Someone ought to scare our elementary school youth straight lest they end up tossing their lives from behind bars.