Eva Longoria and her husband Tony Parker and still together and stronger than ever, despite claims that he's been up to his nutsack in a French model called Alexandra Paressant.
It has been reported that Tony Parker was sleeping with Paressant behind Eva Longoria's back for two months after meeting her at his own wedding. X17, which broke the story, also claims to have a number of text messages that Tony Parker sent Alexandra Paressant – and in in French too, the dirty bugger. However, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker have issued a statement saying that the story is completely untrue, and that Eva Longoria would leave Tony Parker instantly if she ever discovered he'd been cheating on her.
Or she'd stick with him for the rest of his life – whichever one would be more likely to send him into a painful wibbling meltdown. Probably the second one.
If you were married to Eva Longoria, you'd be a fool to cheat on her. After all, it isn't a mistake that Eva Longoria was deemed sexy enough to flash her cameltoe to the universe last year. So, maybe you'd look back on your single days with a certain degree of fondness, or perhaps try to knock her head off with the back of a shovel just to stop the incessant self-absorbed yip yip yip that pours out of it ten to the dozen 24 hours a day, but actually cheat on Eva Longoria? No.
However, a French model is claiming that that's exactly what Eva Longoria's husband Tony Parker has been doing. Alexandra Paressant, who was introduced to Tony Parker by Thierry Henry at his wedding to Eva Longoria, claims that she had a two-month sexual relationship with Parker that ended when she discovered that he was cheating on her with a third woman. Not only that, but Alexandra Paressant also claims that Tony Parker blabbed all about Eva Longoria's sexual foibles too. According to Paressant:
"He said that Eva, sexually speaking, does not want to do certain things. She does not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like [a] certain position and thinks that sperm gives acne."
Sperm gives acne? Really? But we thought sperm cured acne! To think, we chugged that thee-litre bottle of it for nothing a decade ago. Still, at least Eva Longoria didn't disprove the old 'wiping fresh animal turds into your eyes cures short-sightedness' story, or we'd be in real trouble.
But anyway, apparently there are text messages that back up Alexandra Paressant's story, but forging text messages is so easy that even a monkey could do it these days.
And, for what it's worth, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are denying the story completely. According to People:
"I love my wife," Parker said in a statement to PEOPLE. "She's the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier." Longoria, who took Parker's name this year after their July nuptials, added, "Tony has been nothing short of the perfect husband."
OK, maybe not a denial as such, but you get the idea. Not that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker have a spotless relationship, of course. Before they were married Eva and Tony briefly split up following claims that she'd been cheating on him with AC Slater from Saved By The Bell, only to get back together a couple of days later.
So what's the truth here? It's not unknown for famous wives of sports stars to stick with their husbands after they've cheated, but at the same time nobody really seems to know who this Alexandra Paressant – and since she's pretty and French there's every chance she's made it all up to get a little bit more famous.
All we can hope, then, is that Eva Longoria looks inside herself and does the right thing. The right thing, of course, being to shut up for once just to give our ears a bit of rest for one blissful second.
Read more:
Eva Longoria and Tony Parker Smack Down Rumors of Affair – People
Duh says
Psshhh…!
Sperm TOTALLY causes acne! I thought you people knew your stuff.
My confidence in you is totally eroded now.